第三百零五章 谁是第一
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“你去哪?”马良不解。
“找排长,调离九排,或者……退伍。”
马良狠狠瞪了刘坚强一眼,然后跑出几步一把拽住了李响:“算了算了,当我没说,我那就是随口一问,你快忙你的板凳吧。”
李响面无表情地停住了,马良赶紧朝满头黑线的刘坚强一摆手,无语离开。
……
一些战士坐在树林边纳凉,几个老兵在口若悬河,几个新兵在旁边溜缝。
“看这架势,排长肯定是想打炮楼。”
“未必吧,昨天傍晚二班长和三长的计划那么细致,不照样各赏了一脚。”
“你懂个啥,咱九排最有能力的班长就两个,一个流鼻涕一个马良,开会说让他们一起出方案,难道排长这是闲得么?”
“哦,你这么一说……似乎有道理啊?”
有新兵嘀咕着问:“原来二班长和三班长是最强的?咱排现在有五个班长,这要是按能力排个顺序的话,你们说谁在头前谁在末尾呢?”
战士们随即开始叽叽喳喳,一些人认为刘坚强第一,一些人认为马良第一;一些人认为新来的陈冲垫底,一些人认为无良的九班长罗富贵垫底。争论了半天,马良和刘坚强谁是第一没答案,但是罗富贵垫底这件事倒是达成了共识。
徐小也在旁边不远,一直都听着了,只是没说话。但是听到了最后,他的心情很不好,因为罗富贵是他的班长,而战士们正在耻笑着。
其实在徐小心里,他最喜欢的人——是罗富贵!他喜欢罗富贵的原因极其简单,简单得甚至可笑,因为班长强壮高大,是全排最高大的!是全团最高大的!比高一刀还要高大,没有人比班长高大!
也许是因为徐小最瘦小,所以罗富贵那熊一般伟岸的身躯令他产生向往,也许是其他原因,谁知道呢,好感这种东西很怪,跟逻辑无关。
“我的班长是第一。”徐小忍不住认真说。
场面瞬间寂静,所有目光瞬间转向了徐小那一脸鼻涕痕迹,静了一会,猛地哄笑成一片,这是一头无良熊和一只干巴鸡的故事么?
等观众们笑够了,徐小认真地重复了一遍:“我的班长真的是第一。”
“第一高我们承认,但是牛皮吹得也高;第一大我们承认,但是脸也大;总的来说,你那班长有三个强项:吃饭,睡觉,浪费子弹。”
有人这么说完,众人再次笑歪成一片。
徐小被嘲笑得满脸通红,先天带有自卑感的他又不善辩,只好等大家再次笑够了,才说:“打河口营的时候,有班长出主意;打山口工地的时候,也是班长出主意。我的班长才是第一。”
“快得了吧,那是瞎猫碰上死耗子,赶巧了。他要真有那能耐,排长咋不让他出方案呢?你这小毛伢子倒替他抹起粉来了,我说小子,咱能不能不闹?说点拍良心的话难吗?”
“我……我的班长是第一。”徐小语拙了,却继续红着脸认真地坚持着,随即便被七嘴八舌的嘲笑声淹没。
突然噗通一声响,一个正在笑嘻嘻的战士直接被身后一只大脚踹出个大马趴。
战士们猛回头,才发现一头巨熊正站在大家身后,懒洋洋地眨巴着一对丑陋熊眼扫视一时无声的现场。
倒地战士狼狈地翻过身,看到熊后惊讶地咧开了嘴,这个点他不是应该在睡觉吗?一时忘了排长已经回来的事。
“姥姥的,一瞅你这个熊玩意就是流鼻涕的孬兵!好大个胆儿,竟敢编排起老子了?今天就让你看看老子的脸有多大!”
战士们互相斜眼看,坏了,难道这熊都听见了?再呆在这里是傻子!
“呃……罗班长,我得去换岗了。”一个战士爬起来撒腿就跑。
“我也去换岗了。”大家几乎异口同声,哗啦啦一阵乱,全撒鸭子了。
罗富贵原本离这里不远,从头到尾都听见了,他根本不在乎什么排名垫底,或者什么吃饭睡觉浪费子弹。脸皮有个屁用,能当饭吃还是能当钱花?对那些嘲笑天生免疫,一点感觉没有。
“班长。”徐小呆呆站着。
“老子当个‘最差班长’有什么不好?你跟那些缺心眼的货扯个什么劲?嗯?出头的橼子先烂,懂不懂?死一回你还不长记性?姥姥的你以为每次都会有人把你这倒霉货背回来么?”罗富贵像是在责怪徐小,但是语气里却没有一丝气恼。
“可我觉得你是第一。”徐小沉默着低下头,小声地说。
罗富贵低头看了面前的瘦小身躯,沉默了一会儿,忽然嘿嘿一笑:“老子当然是第一!”
徐小闻言抬起了头,傻傻望着高大的巨熊发呆。
“只要我愿意,随时能骑在流鼻涕和马良头上,我不是第一谁是第一?嘿嘿嘿……今天班长高兴,那就……给你挣个第一来玩玩?”
徐小更糊涂了。
罗富贵得意洋洋地背起两只大手,朝沙滩上看了看,马良和刘坚强还在那对着沙盘冥思苦想。禁不住露出个贱笑,对徐小说:“去告诉那俩傻子,不用瞎折腾了,打炮楼的方案老子早有了,让他们赶紧找个凉快地方歇会得了!这家伙呜呜喳喳阵势摆的这个大,团长和政委都没他俩忙!”
……
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