第989章 逆转审判(上)
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“屎脸鸟人,屎脸鸟人!屎脸鸟人”封不觉在听完对方的自我介绍后,又将这个称谓当着对方的面重复了三遍,且语气呈渐升之势。
比夫气得直哆嗦,但他又不便和眼前这个无赖般的男人计较,他只能像是个受了欺负的小孩一般,向法官告状:“法官大人!我抗议!他侮辱我!”
“抗议有效。”法官应了一句,看向觉哥道,“疯不觉。请注意你的措辞。”
“好的。”封不觉冲法官点点头,然后转过身,走到比夫面前,“对不起,比夫检察官,我不该叫你屎脸鸟人的。虽然这个词比较贴切地描述了你的外表在我们地球人眼中的整体形象,但这样称呼你……似乎还是有伤风化。我以后再也不叫你屎脸鸟人了,至少在法庭上我不会再叫你屎脸鸟人了,至于私下里叫不叫你屎脸鸟人,或者在你不在场的前提下无意间跟人提起屎脸鸟人……”
“你给我适可而止啊混蛋!”
当比夫听到“对不起”这三个字的时候。脑中还稍稍闪过了“这个疯不觉似乎还挺有礼貌的”的念头;但紧接着,对方的一整段话里又用那个词骂了他五遍,并且毫无停止的意思,这不禁让比夫暴跳如雷。
“疯不觉,你再提那个词,我就要叛你藐视法庭了。”法官给出了最后的警告。
“okok”封不觉耸耸肩,朝审判席走去。
“你要干什么?”波克立刻警觉地站了起来。
“放松,书记官先生。”封不觉悠然地从行囊里取出了一件东西,“我拿件东西给你看而已。”说着。他已经把一张纸质文件递到了波克的面前,“请你拿给法官大人过过目。”
递上了文件后,觉哥便踱步回身,用挑衅的眼神望着屎脸……哦不……望着比夫道。“我这份……是篆劼尊亲自颁发的‘书世界律师资格证’。尊哥的推理俱乐部,无疑是主宇宙中的‘合法领土’;而他本人呢……就是那里的‘合法政府’。”说到这儿,他舔了舔嘴唇,朝比夫做了个鬼脸。“某些人所质疑的……我的律师资格,现在应该已不是什么问题了吧?”
“嗯……证明文件没有问题。”法官很快就将文件看完了,“疯……”他想了想。改口道,“辩方律师,本庭承认你有资格为吞天鬼骁进行辩护。”
“我说……”鬼骁这会儿已将两手的手肘撑在了被告席的台面上,托着腮帮子,摆出一脸不耐烦的表情,“到底有没有人在听我说话啊?我都说要认罪了……而且我也不想让那家伙给我辩护啊……”
“辩方律师,你听到了,你的当事人拒绝你为他辩护。”法官看向觉哥道。
“我反对。”封不觉回道。
“喂……你这也能反对啊?”鬼骁闻言都惊了。
“是啊……辩方律师,你在反对什么?”法官也感到很蛋疼。
“被告是未成年人,辩护相关的事宜应由他的法定代理人来决定,他无权拒绝我的辩护。”封不觉回道。
“嗯……”法官想了想,“原来如此……”他微顿半秒,“那么,被告的法定代理人是谁?”
“就是我。”封不觉想都不想,一拍胸脯就给认了。
“你和被告是什么关系?”法官又问。
“我是他干爹。”封不觉又是不假思索地给出了一个很恶劣的答复。
“你放屁!”鬼骁转头就骂。
觉哥听罢,继续无视鬼骁,看着法官道:“法官大人,我放屁了。”
“呃……”法官道,“那又怎么样……”
“没什么,既然我的委托人提了,我就说出来跟大家分享一下。”封不觉回道。
“哦……”法官应声后,沉默了三秒,“辩方律师……请你不要再提这种和本案无关的事情。”
“好的。”觉哥点头回道。
三句话之间,封不觉就利用“放屁”一词的双关意义和游戏的翻译问题,把这事儿给揭过去了……
“那么……”法官接着又道,“辩方律师、兼法定代理人……你现在是要给被告做无罪辩护吗?”
“是的。”封不觉回道,“并且……”他转向陪审团,“我希望陪审团可以忽略掉被告的所有证词。”
“嗯,本庭允许你提出的要求。”法官立即接道。
“喂!这都可以啊!”鬼骁显然不是很懂法律,更加不懂真理法庭里的那套法律,他的惊讶也是可以理解的。
“行啦……”这时,封不觉终于凑到了被告席前,压低了嗓门儿悄声对鬼骁言道,“想脱身就乖乖站着,看我表演。”
“切……”鬼骁却是不怎么领情,他也压低了声音回道,“且不说我们现在是在比赛,应当是你死我活的立场;就算我肯跟你合作对付这些np吧,难道你不觉得……我俩直接动武会更有效率吗?”
“你我联手,确是可以血洗此地。”封不觉回道,“但那毫无意义……”他将说话声控制得更轻了,“真理法庭是一个比较特殊的‘四柱神’,‘它’并不像其他柱神那样具备一个独立的具象化实体;真理法庭是一种概念、一种意志……并不是用武力就可以摧毁的东西。”
“哦?”鬼骁接道,“那你准备怎么做?把‘它’活活说死?”
“哼……”觉哥,笑而不语。
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