第075章 要做就做绝
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李鱼端着粪勺子走到被绑在柱子上的任怨面前。更多小说ltxsba.com任怨又惊又怒，大肚腩一鼓一鼓，仿佛一只马上就要现了原形的蛤蟆精，怒斥李鱼道：“小子敢尔！你敢辱我，我定教你求生不得，求死不能！”
李鱼哈哈一笑，赶紧又稳住，生怕笑的动静大了，那满满一勺子金汁会溢出来。
李鱼道：“天上白玉京，十二楼五城。仙人抚我顶，结发受长生。你这妖魔是个什么东西，竟然附着在任太守身上，为非作恶，坏他名声。在本仙人面前，还敢大言不惭？”
既然装了，就得装得底，他现在装的越像，众人就越是信他。李鱼心知此刻是断断不能认怂的，所以又信口盗了本家那位诗仙小白的几句诗，给自己装添门面。
狗头儿站在李鱼旁边，可是一点都不害怕。他知道任太守并未入魔，是李鱼在整治太守。但他可不知道李鱼是个假神仙。李鱼一次次对求上门来的人大显神通的场面，他可是亲眼见过的，早已对李鱼的神通崇信不疑。
他既然是神仙的小跟班，那太守算个什么鸟？如今听李鱼吟诗，没读过书的狗头儿只听了个一知半解，大概明白是说李鱼是天上的神仙，便得意洋洋地道：“妖魔，你听到了没有？我家小郎君，那可是天上人间的！”
李鱼横了狗头儿一眼，心道：“你才是天上人间的，你全家都是天上人家的！不对，这货是孤儿！”
李鱼只好狠狠白了狗头儿一眼，吩咐道：“捏开他的嘴巴！”
狗头儿一听，不禁咧咧了嘴，好生不情愿地上前，掐住任怨的嘴巴，任怨两颊被掐，酸痛难忍，身不由己地张开了嘴巴，咿咿唔唔地道：“你肉次……藕，藕哦哈咿……”
李鱼大惊，道：“魔物要反抗了，尔等闪开！”
众不良帅、官兵、捕快闻言哗啦啦一下就闪开半丈多远，其中真怕妖魔做法的未必有几个，怕那金汁粪汤溅在身上的倒占了八成。李鱼将那粪勺子往任怨嘴巴上一堵，便倾了下去。
狗头儿只觉任太守拼命挣扎起来，怕他挣扎的狠了，一勺子稀粪全洒自己手上，是以用力挣紧了他的两颊，另一只手捏住了他鼻子，任怨躲无可躲，又不得不喘气儿，一勺子金汁大半都被灌到了口中。
等一勺子金汁灌罢，狗头儿赶紧撤回手，冲进花厅，就着墙角放着的净脸盆儿洗起手来。
任怨吞了一肚子金汁，那金汁金黄澄亮，卖相颇好，可那臭味儿实在是奇臭无比，任怨胃里一阵翻腾，稀里哗啦倾吐而出，弄得一个人更加臭哄哄脏兮兮不堪入目了。
李鱼上前一步，用粪勺子敲着任怨的脑袋，好像敲木鱼儿似的，一脸庄重：“梆梆梆！恶魔，还不离开！我以昊天金阙无上至尊自然妙有弥罗至真玉皇上帝之名驱逐你！”
“梆梆梆！我驱逐你！以中央土德黄帝含枢纽之名命令你，离开任太守的身体！梆梆梆！我驱逐你！以东方木德青帝灵威仰之名命令你，离开任太守的尸体……啊不，身体！梆梆梆……”
“北极玄天真武大帝亲自命令你离开！九天应元雷声普化天尊亲自命令你离开！”
幸亏李鱼开始装神弄鬼扮小神仙后，认真背过一些道教神系的神明的名字，这时一一拿来使用，倒还蛮像那么回事，只是他的驱魔手段……太西方了些。不过，主要是为了方便，学林正英的话他既没空摆香案，身上也没有符箓，还是敲粪勺子方便。
任怨被他敲得一头金汁，恶狠狠地瞪着李鱼，一副要吃人的模样。李鱼敲得累了，扭头对净了手赶到身边的狗头儿道：“这妖魔不肯离去，你再去取一勺子金汁来！”
任怨一听，登时崩溃了，老泪滂沱地大叫道：“不要啊！我服了！我认栽！我认栽啊……”
任老魔一开口，当真是“香”飘十里、熏人欲醉，李鱼和狗头儿不约而同地捂着鼻子退了几步。李鱼拿粪勺子指着任怨，呵斥道：“妖魔，还不离开？”
任怨欲哭无泪，我离开？我被你绑着，怎么离开？你到底要怎样啊你？
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