第403章 鼓吹令
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眼见皇家其实与普通人家有时候也并无二致，李鱼些许的紧张倒是一下子放松下来。
李世民得长孙皇后示意，也醒觉自已说的太多，忙把话音一收，后旁退了一步，道：“有请太上皇训示！”
李渊清了清嗓子，道：“开宴吧！”
说着就向他的位置走去，长孙皇后忙扶着老公公下台阶，李世民尴尬地一笑，忙也随后跟上。
酒宴一开，那歌舞就由太乐署负责了，他们提供舞姬乐伎，器乐演奏，宫娥侍婢侧是美味佳肴流水一般传奉上来，李鱼所掌的鼓吹署就没事了。他们操持的都是大雅之器，奏出来的也只能是大雅之音，只能在皇帝来去的时候演奏。
李鱼松了口气，就在侧廊坐下来，心中盘算：“长孙无忌那老货，只瞧一眼，老子还是低着头的，就叫他给认出来了。恐怕我当初出主意，让尉迟敬德去堵他的门，让他大丢颜面的事，让他嫉恨我甚深呐！”
他是宰相，必须得爱惜羽毛，应该不会用太低劣的手段来对付我，可是恰因他是宰相，百官之首，想要弄我，还需要什么手段么？他根本不会亲自来对付我，那太掉他的身价，他只要稍作示意，就会有人来捏死我。替上头人办事，那些人反而更加肆无忌惮，我哪有闲功夫整天防着有人搞我？
不过，恰因他是宰相，大象斗老鼠，他忌讳也多，我只要能找到一个身份地位跟他差不多的人抱大腿，弄死我他得不偿失，那时他自然就有“宰相度量”了。可是，跟他差不多粗的大腿，上哪儿找啊，就算找到了，人家也得让我抱啊。
这厢李鱼盘算着自已的主意，那厢李世民也在寻找着开口的机会。一开始，自然是率领群臣恭维太上皇，免得老爹特玻璃心，觉得如今不在其位，群臣就冷落了他。
待哄得太上皇转嗔为喜，举杯豪饮，面上渐露醺色，李世民这厢瞟了尉迟敬德一眼，忽然哈哈一笑，道：“敬德，朕这几日听说一件与你有关的事情。”
尉迟敬德正受人敬酒，哈哈大笑，听到皇帝唤他，忙停下杯来，筵会场上也是一静，所有人都向这边望来。
李世民笑吟吟地道：“敬德，朕听人上书说，你要谋反，有这回事吗？”
尉迟敬德一听，一张黑脸登时更黑了，血色上涌，黑得发紫。
尉迟敬德双拳猛地一擂桌面，脖子一梗，怒声道：“是啊！我也听说我要造反了！自从追随陛下，南征北战，浑身上下，伤痕累累，年轻时候缺心眼儿，没想到要造反。现在天下太平，我年纪也大了，都老糊涂了，闲着没事干，不造反干什么呢？”
尉迟敬德越说越气，蹭地一下从案后站了起来，李靖微微一皱眉，以为尉迟敬德昏了头，要对皇帝不利，刚要起身阻止，就见尉迟敬德站在原地，一伸手，便去宽衣解带，众文武看得目瞪口呆：这夯货要干什么？
皇后、贵妃、诸公主，更是张口结舌，似高阳公主一般，却是兴致勃勃，饶有兴致。
此时，侧廊处，铁无环已经赶到了李鱼身旁。
铁无环今日负责的是外围警戒，可以四下巡走，这时便到了李鱼身旁，笑吟吟站定。
李鱼坐在栏上，犹在念念有词，铁无环见他眉心蹙成了一个疙瘩，不禁好奇：“小郎君何事烦恼？”
“嗯？啊？铁大哥！”
李鱼惊醒，忙纠正道：“叫二弟，且莫再称小郎君。”
乍见生死之交，李鱼心情大好，一拍铁无环粗壮手臂，李鱼苦中作乐道：“哥们得罪了皇帝的大舅子，百官之首，当朝宰相，你说厉不厉害。”
铁无环眨眨眼睛，道：“一下子得罪了三个人，着实厉害。”
这句话一出口，李鱼便是一呆。
铁无环见他张口结舌模样，忍俊不禁，笑道：“我知道你说的是一个人，开个玩笑罢了。你怎得罪了长孙无忌？”
两人刚说到这里，就听前边一阵喧哗，二人闻声望去，瞧见赤裸裸黑铁塔般一条大汉站在堂上，只穿着一件兜裆布。没错，就是与日本相扑手穿着相当类似的兜裆布。
他们那玩意儿，本就是从唐人那里学去的，汉唐时期，中国就出现了这种兜裆布，只不过当时还只有上层人士穿着。
李鱼瞧得发愣：“尉迟敬德？这货要干什么啊？是要给皇上表演相扑么。我们鼓吹手要不要给他适时来一段伴奏啊？罗主簿呢，这关键时刻，想找个人问一下，他还不见了。”
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