第三百零八章 直视混乱与疯狂
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“怎么了,当麻?不喜欢妈妈这样的打扮吗?”
“不,不是这个,为、为什么你会穿这样的泳装啊……”坐在遮阳伞下,愣愣的回头的上条小姐脸上的表情开始幻灭,貌似已经联想到某些不好的事情了。
果然,顶着冥土追魂的外表的上条刀夜哈哈大笑了起来,爽朗的说道:“嗯,你妈妈还是风韵犹存呢!虽然泳装这种东西实在是挺昂贵的,但爸爸花这个钱也算是花得有价值了!”
他说的爽朗而又自豪,却没有看见在普通人眼里还是刺猬头上条当麻的绝美少女在听到这句话的瞬间,眼神充满杀气。
“你这个混蛋!竟然仗着有几个臭钱买这种东西给她!说,你是怎么知道茵蒂克丝的三围尺寸的?难道你们是两个人偷偷相约一起去买?”
“哎呀哎呀,当麻,你掐住爸爸的脖子,还用拇指捏着爸爸的颈动脉,爸爸会没命哟。”
“别阻止我,茵蒂克丝!这个恋童癖加护士控大叔已经盯上你了!”已经失去了最重要的游戏手柄的上条小姐再度失去了理智,‘她’这么大吼着,嘴里宛如要喷出火焰。
“可恶!我就知道!我早就觉得奇怪!说什么爸爸跟妈妈的年纪一样……妈明明看起来那么年轻!她其实只有二十八岁左右而已吧?这么推算起来,她到底是几岁生下我的!你这个犯罪者!”
“哎呀哎呀,原来在当麻的心里妈妈还这么年轻呢?”茵蒂克丝正想上前帮忙阻止暴怒的上条小姐的暴行,结果听到了这么一句话,顿时高兴地眉开眼笑拍起手来……
但是这样真的好吗?夫人。你的丈夫好像就要吐白沫了啊!
“总感觉有种哭笑不得的感觉啊,我们就这么在旁边看着真的好吗?”奈亚子眼泪都就要笑出来了,用能够观察到‘真实’的视觉来看待这件事真的是太好笑了!
“安啦安啦,清官难断家务事……让他们自己处理吧!不过我也总觉得有种莫名的喜感……”裴辰单手捂脸声音沉闷的说道。
“呜……呜呜……当……当麻,你冷静点!来,爸爸给你一个祈求家庭平安的护身符,这是爸爸去爱尔兰出差时买的……呜呜!”
“这是什么?裸女雕像?你是在暗示我你一定会得手吗?”
发现暴怒的上条小姐似乎真的就要误入歧途了,可是龙神乙姬却没有过来插科打诨救场,裴辰犹豫了一下正想上去,但是看了看上条小姐那傲人的身姿顿时眼角一抽一抽的,于是将奈亚子推了出去。
几乎笑抽过去的奈亚子四肢也有些发软,她好不容易的才将上条小姐架开,远离已经全身无力像只章鱼一样软趴趴的上条刀夜。而盯着青蛙脸医生容貌的刀夜抚摸着脖子咳嗽,接着看着自己的儿子,不但没有丝毫差点儿被谋杀的愤怒与生气,反而还一脸的愧疚。
他自我检讨的说道:“这……这是我的疏忽……没想到当麻如此热爱自己的妈妈……”
“哎呀哎呀,弗洛伊德说男孩子总是下意识地爱着母亲并且憎恨父亲,没想到是真的呢。”‘茵蒂克丝’也来凑热闹。
“真糟糕,或许是长期住在宿舍的孤独生活,让他产生了对家人之爱的强烈渴望吧。”
“……你们这些家伙够了啊!”上条小姐咬牙切齿地说道。
“不但以外行人身份任意做出完全错误的心理分析,还随便把别人当成恋母情结的变态!你们都给我坐下!我要用这个玩具铲子在沙滩上挖个洞,把你们全部埋起来!”
两个怪模怪样的家伙发出快乐的尖叫声,往海滩上逃去,完全不像是已经为人父母甚至儿子都已经就要成年了的人。
上条小姐咬牙切齿的正想要去追,但是当‘她’捞起玩具铲子正准备追杀的时候,突然发觉了问题所在——为什么刹那学长和奈亚子也脸色发白的逃掉了?而且那演技也太过逼真了吧?一点儿也不像是在玩闹的样子啊!
没等‘少女’明悟过来,背后就传来一阵踏在沙上的脚步声。
声音非常沉重,可以让人轻易的就判断出其主人必然是一个体格健壮身形壮实的家伙,而因为这里基本上就只有自己一行人的原因,上条小姐很容易的判断出了到底是谁……
“当麻,当麻!对不起,我来晚了!当麻在等我吗?”一个可怕到极致的,妩媚娇柔的男人说话声。
别回头!!我绝对不要看见那种噩梦!!上条心想。
心里这么想的上条小姐,却无法克制自己慢慢地、慢慢地回头,面对眼前的可怕现实。
站在‘她’眼前的,是只穿了白色连身泳装的恶魔——
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