第二章 蓬篙 （三）
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第二章蓬篙（三）
孱弱，如果此刻可以用一个字来形容宁小肥来说，孱弱，是最合适不过。龙腾小说ltxs520.com
自打离开瓦岗山后，从没有一刻，他感觉自己如现在这般孱弱过。即便当初落在郭允明手上时，好像也比现在要强得多。
那时他虽然日日行走于生与死的边缘，却依旧每天都能抖擞精神与姓郭的斗智斗勇，并且差一点儿就逃之夭夭。而现在，他的待遇虽然比那时安全了许多，也没有人再逼着他承认自己是前朝二皇子石延宝，他却对自己的人生完全失去了掌控。完全靠着常思的施舍而活着，并且始终被周围大多数人当成累赘和灾星。
的确，常思以谁也预料不到的强硬方式，让他暂时摆脱了真假二皇子的身份尴尬。也的确，他现在表面上已经完全成了一个自由的人，谁也不会再把他关在一辆马车当中，吃喝拉撒都受监视。但无形的牢笼，大多数时候却比有形的牢笼还要结实，还要狭窄得令人几乎不能呼吸。
当初，他是想逃走却找不到合适机会，而现在，即便有一万个机会摆在他面前，他却不能再逃。当初，哪怕是站在了前朝的文武众臣面前，他也敢理直气壮地否认自己是石延宝。现在，如果刘知远派大兵压境，他以石延宝的身份站出来去消弭战火，却是责无旁贷！
他所喜欢的女人在这儿，虽然自从道观脱险后，他与常婉莹两个，隔上十天半个月，都很难再见上一面；他所尊敬的长辈也在这儿，虽然宁采臣跟他并没有真正的血缘关系，并且跟他重逢的时间地点都非常蹊跷；他这辈子迄今为止，唯一，也是最好的朋友还在这儿，虽然韩重赟是常思的大女婿，眼下所做的任何事情，都必须把常家的利益放在第一。
然而，这三个人，却已经是他目前在这个世界上仅有的联系。有这些人存在，或者说心里还惦记着这三个人，他才知道自己还活着，像一个正常人一样有名有姓，有血有肉，有过去有将来。如果这三个人也受到了他的拖累死去，他将彻底弄不清楚自己是谁，自己活在这世间，究竟还有什么意义？
我是谁？我从哪里来？我到哪里去？
如果宁小肥再晚生一千年的话，他将会发现，他现在所感觉到的无力与迷茫，并不单独属于他自己。事实上，人类有史以来，有不计其数的家伙，在同样的年龄段，跟他有过同样的困惑。
这三个问题穿越了时间与空间，不受种族、民族、语言和地域所限制。从在他之前千余年的苏格拉底到孔子，再从他所属于时代之后数百年的莎士比亚到王阳明，都同样为类似的问题烦恼过，并且，谁都没能给出过确切答案。
我到底是不是石延宝，如果不是石延宝，我又是谁？
我到底从什么地方来？为什么他们所说的大晋皇宫，所说的上林苑、郑王府，我记忆里没有任何印象。
我下一步要去哪？要做些什么？难道就这么等下去，像常思说的那样，就蹲在泽潞这片山洼子里，等刘知远彻底把我忘掉？或者像宁采臣说的，等下一次改朝换代？可在那之后呢，我终于可以人畜无害地活着了，然后我除了活着之外，还能做点什么？！
宁小肥不笨，只是头上受过很严重的伤。但那三个穿越时空的千年之问，却是越聪明的人，越难以挣脱。
迷迷糊糊想着，他迷迷糊糊地，在萧条破败的街道上穿行。有巡逻的士兵主动向宁都将打招呼，被他凭着本能反应应付掉。有地方上的小吏，试图凑上前跟节度使大人身边的心腹宁将军套个近乎，也被他神不守舍的模样吓了一大跳。勉强闲聊了几句，就自己主动逃之夭夭。
于是乎，宁小肥这个孤魂野鬼，就稀里糊涂地出了潞州城。稀里糊涂地上了通往东南面的官道。稀里糊涂地在盛夏时节的大太阳底下走了四五里地，直到猛然间听到一阵凌乱的马蹄声，才激灵灵打了个哆嗦，如梦初醒。
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