第二章 蓬篙 （五）
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那朱四爷，刘老大、尹老五等人，是铁了心要给常思一个下马威。因此无论柳元直怎么问，都众口一词地说是从潞州城外经过，对地方上没有丝毫恶意。并且还非常大度的表示，沿途踩坏的庄稼，他们回去后会主动派人前来赔偿，绝对不会让田主落得颗粒无收。
潞州刺史王怒，其实早就跟朱四爷等人有过联络，知道他们近期会弄出点动静来向节度使常思示威。只是没想到，对方所弄出来的动静会如此大而已。此刻见既然木已成舟，干脆放弃了当和事佬打算，把双手朝官袍袖子里头一缩，静等看常思如平息乡贤们怒火。
反正他这个刺史，要资历有资历，要人脉有人脉，即便在潞州做不下去，也可以换个更富庶的地方，继续替天子牧守群氓。而常思如果不能及时安抚住汹涌的“民情”，恐怕节度使就此就做到头了。用不了多久，便要卷铺盖回老家！
也没用他等得太久，就在柳元直将预先准备好的戏词，重复说到第三遍的时候，泽潞节度使常思，终于带着五百亲信姗姗而至。到了之后也不客气，直接派韩重赟和杨光义两个从团练队伍中央分出一条通道，信马由缰地走到了队伍最前。
“怎么回事儿？！”常思本人大腹便便，胯下的坐骑也肥头硕耳。一人一马气喘吁吁在官道正中央站立，就像上下摞起的两个肉团。
看到节度使大人形象如此不堪，众乡贤们愈发气焰高涨。没待刺史王怒和团练使方峥两个代为陈情，就扯开嗓子，乱哄哄地叫喊道：“我等去打冤家，从这里路过！不小心惊扰了节度使大人，还请大人恕罪，恕罪！”
“野鸡岭那边的杨家寨，欠了我们的粮食不还。我等只好前去讨要，冒犯之处，还请大人见谅！”
“路过，路过。大人您尽管在城里安歇，不用管外边的事情！”
“打冤家去，打冤家去！不打冤家不长记性！”
“……”
“打冤家，那就是持械斗殴了？”常思先是微微一愣，随即将头扭向团练使方峥，满脸狐疑，“那我说你这个团练使大人是干什么吃的？上万规模的乡民械斗，你也不立刻出兵弹压？难道非要等到人死得尸横遍野了，再赶过去偏帮一方么？”
“末将不敢！”团练使方峥，心里头立刻打了冷战，有股不详的预感迅速笼罩头顶。“末将也曾好言劝说，但眼下群情激奋，末将实在阻拦不住。”
“阻拦不住！哈哈哈哈，哈哈哈，哈哈哈哈——！”仿佛听到平生最好笑的笑话般，节度使常思仰起头，狂笑不止。“阻拦不住，哈哈哈，哈哈哈哈，你也有脸说你是团练使？朝廷的武官？你手下这些人都是泥塑的么？还是他们手里拿的兵器都是纸糊的？”
“他们，他们，他们都是本地人！”明明对着的是个脑满肠肥的大胖子，团练使方峥却感觉好像有一座山从半空中向自己压了下来。接连后退数步，才勉强站稳身形，喃喃地补充，“况且，况且乡民们也没犯什么大错！都是乡里乡亲的，弟兄，弟兄们也，也不好意思下，下狠手！”
最后一句话，他几乎是硬着头皮，才敢说完整。闭上嘴巴的同时，立刻垂下头，不敢跟常思的目光想接。上下起伏的肚皮里，却把刺史王怒的祖宗八代骂了个遍，“你个缺了八辈子德的王矮子！三寸丁！老子怎么得罪你了，居然挖了这么大的一个坑让老子跳？你说常思已经是没牙的老虎，你他娘的见过这样的没牙老虎么？他根本不用动嘴，随便伸伸爪子，都得把你老子拍得筋断骨折！”
“好，都是乡里乡亲，不好意思下手。这话，老子信了！”节度使常思忽然收起了笑容，身体在马背上一挺，气沉山岳，“你们下不了手，老子下得了。弟兄们，举兵器！”
“诺！”韩重赟、杨光义等人，与身后的五百弟兄们一道，齐声回应。气势不算宏大，却如同狂风般扫过对面的军阵，将乡贤、家将、庄丁们扫得，个个寒毛倒竖。
“放下兵器，下马受缚，否则，死！”下一个瞬间，常思的目光已经转向了山羊胡子刘老大。肥硕的右手中，有一个铁蒺藜骨朵被笔直地端起来，遥遥指向所有家将庄丁的面门。“老子数三个数，一——！”
刘老大和朱四爷等人，没想到常思过来连话都不跟自己说，就直接翻脸。更没想到常思只带着五百骑兵，就敢主动向近万庄丁发起挑衅。顿时，预先准备好的所有犀利说辞，全都用不上了。预先设想的几套周旋方案，也全都落到了空处。一个个大眼瞪着小眼儿，短时间内，居然不知所措。
“误会，误会啊，节度使大人！”倒是刺史王怒，不愧地方父母官。眼看着乡贤们就要被打个措手不及，连忙扯开嗓子叫嚷着朝常思身边冲去。
他必须想办法拦住常思，至少，得阻挡后者片刻，给乡贤及其爪牙们，争取将长兵器重新捡起来的时间。否则，五百骑兵策马一冲，正对着他们的庄丁肯定会立刻崩溃。而两军交战，最怕的就是这种局部崩溃情况发生。一旦出现，就必然会像滚雪球一样，越滚越大，越滚越大，直到最后彻底无法收拾！
“啪！”回答他的，是一记响亮的耳光。
没等他靠近常思身边，韩重赟已经一巴掌抡了过去，将他头上的官帽直接抽飞到半空中。紧跟着，早有准备的杨光义也靠了过来，与韩重赟两个一左一右，夹着刺史大人策马冲下了官道。而常思的左手第三根手指恰恰弯曲下来，计数完毕。双腿狠狠一夹坐骑，如同一块滚动的岩石般，“轰隆隆”朝对面碾压过去。
“轰隆隆”“轰隆隆”“轰隆隆”近五百名骑兵紧随其后，长枪如林，刀光如雪，脚步没有丝毫迟疑。
注1：气象，景色，景象之意思。与后世的天气预报无关。参见唐代阎宽《晓入宜都渚》诗：“回眺佳气象，远怀得山林。
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