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第九章 群妖落户

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第九章群妖落户()

在中华浩瀚的知识海洋中,不乏介绍遇到鬼以后该怎么办的经典名著,《搜神记》上说,唾它!《聊斋志异》上说,睡它!鲁迅说,踢它!

可那些都是理论上的,《搜神记》里那只鬼实力弱小,智力同样堪忧,这本书里鬼怪整体素质低劣,估计小倩去了都能当终极大boss。更多小说ltxs520.com

《聊斋》里说白了其实无非就是些个狐狸版兔女郎,她们身材妙曼性格娇憨,还有毛茸茸的尾巴和长长的耳朵——我一个哥们第一次梦遗梦里假想敌就是狐狸精,而且狐狸精们都是文青范儿,看见书生和写手就荷尔蒙失常,当然,这跟作者有关系,我们都知道蒲松龄就是一个扑街写手加宅男。

至于鲁迅先生所面临的情况和我完全不一样,我也做过类似的尝试了,我要面对的不是摸金校尉也不是想浑水摸鱼的诈骗团伙,我觉得我接下来的任何表现都是可以原谅的。

我不卑不亢地说:“我要保证不说出你们的身份你们能不吃我吗?”

吴永生笑道:“我不吃荤——”顿了顿又道,“素也不吃,我只喝水。”说着他端起一杯水倒进了鞋里:那是老槐树精的树根所在。

金诚武道:“我倒是满喜欢吃肉。”

我打个寒噤。

“不过我不吃人肉,也不吃生肉。”

我心说那倒好办,你拿右手摸摸我我就熟了……

至于小倩,似乎没必要担心太多,她身体虚弱不能吃东西,不过我又马上想到:绝不能让她闻我……

吴永生看着赖在地上的我哭笑不得道:“小龙兄你起来,说说你到底什么情况,如果不是跟我们开玩笑的话为什么我们都感觉你是度过天劫的人?”

金诚武道:“我也奇怪,他既然度过了天劫为什么不回天上去,看来我们是真的看错了。”

吴永生又问我:“小龙兄,你今年多大了?”

“22!”

小倩道:“那虚岁呢?”

我说:“24!”

吴永生道:“你今年22,要虚也是23,怎么会是24呢?”

我扬着脖子道:“我腊月生的,虚两岁。”

吴永生:“……”

金诚武笑道:“他真的是普通人,度过天劫的人气质不该是这样的。”

吴永生道:“可是度过天劫之人哪个不是通过辛辛苦苦几千年的苦修,哪有22岁就得来正果的?”

金诚武道:“老吴你还没明白吗?我们对‘小龙兄’的认识都是一个误会,他肯定有什么特殊的经历。”

吴永生问我:“小龙你这几天遭遇过什么奇怪的事吗?”

我说:“有,而且很多!”

吴永生关切道:“什么事?”

我苦着脸道:“我的店里来了一个老槐树精,一个能点石成金的妖怪,还有一个没有脚的女鬼!”

老吴:“……”

金诚武笑道:“别的呢,肯定还有事,尤其是这一两天之内发生的。”

这一两天……我刚思索一会就有了端倪,猛然坐起道:“昨天我被雷劈过!”所有倒霉事都是从那一雷开始的!而且这种特殊经历还真不是轻易就能忘得掉的。

老吴、金诚武、小倩三个人面面相觑,片刻之后老吴一拍大腿道:“被雷劈过就对了!度劫正是要被劈的。”

金诚武道:“快说说。”

我把昨天在车上的事一五一十全讲了一遍。

金诚武纳闷道:“难道是劈歪了,车上还有别的高人?”

老吴道:“就算真是这样,小龙身上也不应该出现劫后金身的迹象啊。”

金诚武道:“我也想不通。”

小倩小心地问我:“小龙哥,你被劈完以后有没有什么特别的感觉?比如跑的比平时快了,跳的比平时高了之类的。”

我使劲摆手:“没有!”我要是跑的快,刚才早跑了。

金诚武摊手道:“没办法了,看来这确实是一个误会。”

老吴把我从地上拉起来,抱歉地说:“真是对不起呀,还以为你跟我们是同道中人,让你吃了不少吓,我郑重道歉。”他跟金诚武和小倩说,“那我们走吧?”

金诚武笑道:“老吴你何必这么死心眼呢?你难道能找到比这更好的修行地方?小龙既然已经知道我们的身份了,走又有什么用?再说我们又不是什么坏人。”

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