第六章 掏厕所
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第六章掏厕所
我和张赶虎的这番话给了我两个启示。龙腾小说网ltxs520.com
首先其实我早该想到劈山这一招了,按说我当剑神时间也不短了,可远远不知道这个称号意味着什么,每天浑浑噩噩,同样也不明白剑气的用处,这段日子以来它最大的作用就是欺负段天涯,这跟人的思维方式有关系,我虽然拿着这么强的剑气,不知道灵活妙用,人家有的人就会拿吹风机吹洗成一团的钞票,拿卸妆液清理透明胶带纸,我脑子死,要不是受了虫子的启发还真想不出劈山来。
其次,我真不知道该怎么跟张赶虎解释了,这关系到一个人接受事物能力的上限,她不信我不怪她,就像她说的那样,她要信我老妈才不会让她带兵呢,比如你身边的朋友跟你说他就是沉香,你可以当他是开玩笑,可他真要买了去西安的火车票背着斧子非要现场给你表演力劈华山这就一点也不可笑了,要是关系不错,我们还得领着他去医院检查脑袋,因为这已经违背了人们熟知的常识。
张赶虎现在大概就是这种感觉,所以她非常恼火手下不知轻重在这百忙的时刻耽误她的时间。
见她执意要走,我一下蹦到她面前道:“你就试试怎么了?你别忘了我可是劈山出身的。”
张赶虎纳闷道:“怎么说?”
“你不会连剑神传说也不知道吧?那个黑什么什么山不就是我劈开的吗?”
张赶虎笑道:“你也说了那是传说,剑神我是很景仰的,可传说中的事哪有那么靠谱的?”
敢情张赶虎还是一个“无神论”者。
我挡在她身前道:“就算我是吹牛,你就满足我一次吹牛的瘾——一个小时,你给我一个小时时间休息休息,也就是半个时辰,如果不成,你再突围我绝不拦你。”
张赶虎难得耐心道:“现在已经又过去了一盏茶的时间,半个时辰后就过了大将军和我们约好的时间,那时候我还不动手就是违抗军命,况且——”张赶虎不悦道,“你要我把众姐妹们的性命置于不顾听你吹牛吗?”
“你不听我的才是把姐妹们的性命置于不顾呢,如果我失败了你无非是迟下山几分,于大局根本无妨,是违抗军命重要呢还是你的姐妹们的命重要?”
张赶虎只是一个劲地摆手,我循循善诱道:“张将军,带兵是你是一把手,可你会看病吗?你会做豆腐吗?对自己不了解的东西,你是不是应该给一点尊重,你没当过剑神吧?”
张赶虎道:“我现在是剑士,离剑神还天差地别呢。”
我说:“你看,你不是剑神就没有发言权,可我是剑神!”
张赶虎道:“可我也没见苏剑神能把山劈了呀!”
“这个嘛……我只能说剑神也是分三六九等的。”
张赶虎笑眯眯地看着我道:“像你这种连自己也保护不了的算几等?”
“呃,总之我跟你说最后一次,你要是执意硬突围,说不定会后悔一辈子。”
张赶虎下意识道:“你以前劈过山吗?”
我猛然道:“别说,还真劈过!”她这么一说我想起宾馆对面的鹞子山来了,我和段天涯练剑的时候鹞子山就曾被我劈平了山顶,只不过鹞子山海拔只有1000来米,而且比骆驼山要小上十几倍,说实话我心里没底……
张赶虎挠着头道:“我到底该不该信你呢?”
我趁热打铁道:“你要怕大将军事后责罚你,我去给你说。”
张赶虎挥手道:“别说责罚,要是能让姐妹们平安脱险,把我脑袋砍下来都行!”
我眼睛放亮道:“怎么样?你答应了?”
张赶虎跺脚道:“爷爷的,我就信你一次,不过你只有一炷香的时间。”
我为难道:“短了点。”
张赶虎道:“这已经是最大限度了,半个时辰之后大将军的人马就会发起进攻,我们要是不下去接应,她就成了孤军奋战。”
我想想也是,决然道:“好!”
张赶虎道:“需要我配合你做什么?”
我说:“你尽量让你的人往北边聚集,我要把南峰劈成一个斜坡,需要很大的空地。”
张赶虎往深不可测的山下看了一眼,苦笑道:“爷爷的,我现在就后悔信你了。”但她毕竟传下了命令,全军向北面的封顶靠拢,众军以为不时就要向黑吉斯发起进攻,在这生死关头,不禁有几分忐忑,也有几分跃跃欲试。
军兵们收起帐篷,原来的地方就空出很大一片地方来,本来我是打算先休息一下的,这几天我几乎不眠不休地往边境赶,刚才又经过了长时间的飞行,可是时间不等人,好在我似乎也没感觉到多累,便站起来拍打着双腿,为热身做准备。
张赶虎问我:“现在呢,我们还需要做什么?”
我简洁道:“等着。”
张赶虎道:“那你呢?”
我顾不上理她,在原地小跑起来,不时把两条胳膊在胸前摆来摆去,张赶虎愕然道:“你现在才开始锻炼身体是不是晚了点?”
我不说话,照旧抽风。
可是剑气这东西不是说来就来的,以前不管我预备多长时间都无关紧要,可今天非比寻常,也不知道是因为着急还是刚才损耗过多,10分钟后我的身体里丝毫不见剑气经过丹田的迹象,我一急,就绕着那空地一圈又一圈地跑起来……
张赶虎蹲在边上看着我,她身边的副将小声道:“将军,这真的行吗?”
张赶虎郁闷地摸着脸道:“他抽风我也抽风,也不知是缺了哪根弦,我居然信他了。”
又过了小半天我已经跑得气喘吁吁大汗淋漓,张赶虎越看越郁闷,索性一屁股坐在地上,嘴里叼个草棍喃喃道:“爷爷的,让大将军知道了这荒唐事她真得砍我脑袋了。”她的副将提醒她:“按时间算,大将军现在已经快到山下了。”
张赶虎道:“一炷香的时间到了吗?”
副将道:“已经到了。”
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