第十三章 敲寡妇门
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另有一个原因，就是见到明氏之后，很可能要听一场撕心裂肺的哭叫。他一向不擅长应付女人的眼泪，在心中对这样的场景难免生出畏惮之意，也就一拖再拖，直到现在，算来已有四个月。眼看就要往热河开拔，再不去，便没有机会了，所以下定决心，走这一趟。
按着以前从白氏嘴里套出来的地址，关卓凡安步当车，寻到了城东周店坊一带的旗营。这一带的人家，都是旗人，所住的房子，亦都是官房，是朝廷特为划给家境贫困的旗人居住的。关卓凡想得到，既然是官房，当然不会太好，然而当他见到这几排屋子时，还是被眼前破败的景象吓了一跳。
每排屋子大约有十余间，似乎是每间住着一家人。屋墙之上斑斑落落，屋顶也尽有缺损的地方，只用黄泥和茅草修缮堵塞。正面的墙壁，家家都被熏得一片漆黑，显见是天热的时候，用泥炉在外面生火做饭所致。现在已是将进腊月，各家各户的门上却还都挂着布帘，要是朔风一起，哪里挡得住寒气？
屋子前面，有两三个人正在劈柴，也有几个孩子在玩耍，见到衣着光鲜的关卓凡，都拿眼睛看着他。关卓凡脚步有些沉重，慢慢踱到左首的第一间房子，见门边也零零落落地堆着些干柴。他犹豫了一会，还是举起手，叩响了门，心里苦笑：我这算是“敲寡妇门”了。
门吱呀一声开了，出来应门的是个年轻的妇人，面色有些憔悴，模样却生得很标致，头发在脑后挽了一个髻，穿着一身带补丁的粗布褂子，浆洗得干干净净。左手上套着顶针，看来是正在做针线活。身后跟了一个三四岁的小子，躲在妇人的腿后，偏出半边脑袋，偷偷地看着关卓凡。
妇人见了关卓凡，楞了一下，面上变得全无表情，冷冷地看着他。关卓凡心里打鼓，不知道自己有没有走错门，一声“嫂子”便叫不出口。视线越过妇人向屋内看去，屋内又甚是黑暗，一时看不分明。
就这样尴尬地僵持了一会，那妇人忽然转过身，扯了孩子，走进屋里去了，门却没有关。关卓凡松了一口气，知道自己没有敲错门，连忙跟了进去，正想把门带上，却听那妇人冷冷地说道：“干脆别关门，省得别人说闲话，让你关少爷面子上挂不住。”
“嫂……嫂子，”关卓凡艰涩地叫了一声，踌躇了片刻，想到外面冷得紧，毕竟还是关上了门扇，才跟进来，又花了好一会功夫，才渐渐适应屋内的光线，把屋里打量了一番。只见屋中的家什陈设，都甚为简陋，墙上开了一扇小小的窗户，窗下生着一个炉子，用来取暖。窗边的桌子上，摆着个针线篮子，还有些零碎布头，显是明氏方才在做的活计。再往里隔开一扇小门，想必是明氏带孩子睡觉的地方了。
明氏坐在椅子上，仍然偏着头不理他，那个孩子依偎在明氏身边，两只眼睛忽闪忽闪，灵动可爱。
关卓凡没想到她母子过得如此艰难，心下大愧，嚅嗫道：“嫂子，对不住，我没想到你们这么难……”
“也没什么难，”明氏平平淡淡地说，“我有朝廷的抚恤银子，娘俩饿不死。老马欠下的几笔债，我慢慢做活还上就是了，不劳兄弟你操心。”
关卓凡知道明氏是生了自己极大的气。想来也是，作为马额齐最好的朋友，这几个月来不闻不问，无论如何也是说不过去的。现在听到明氏话说得硬气，他又是敬佩，又是羞愧，忽然抬起手，狠狠给了自己一巴掌，掏心掏肺地说道：“嫂子，难怪你生气，我这干的不叫人事儿，实在是对不住了。你大人大量，别记恨了，不管怎样，再给做兄弟的一次机会。”
明氏听他那一掌打得结实，话也说得极诚恳，这才转过头来，看了他一眼，面色渐渐柔和起来，低下头，轻声说道：“也知道你忙。别的说不上，你能来看看我们娘俩，我也就知足了。”
没有预想中的眼泪和哭闹，关卓凡心里安定了不少，连忙说：“不忙，不忙，我这次来……”
话没说完，却见明氏站起身，从橱柜里取了个布娃娃塞给儿子，柔声叮嘱道：“小虎，在这乖乖玩。”又拿起针线篮子，指了指那扇小门，叹了口气，对关卓凡说：“到里屋说话吧。”
“好。”他连忙站起身，走进里屋，明氏跟在后面。关卓凡进了小门，才迈一步，右臂忽然传来一阵剧痛，大骇之下，转头一看，却是被明氏狠狠拧了一记。
“你……你个死没良心的。”明氏泪眼婆娑地望着他，声音已是带出了哭腔，“你终于舍得来了？”
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