第一百章 太后垂怜
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“事儿……就出在臣这个御前侍卫的差使上。龙腾小说ltxs520.com”
顿了一顿，关卓凡说道：“臣记得，那一天，是八月十四第二天就是中秋了，圣母皇太后回方家园省亲，臣奉派了随扈侍卫的差使。呃，‘她’省亲这个事儿，不晓得，母后皇太后还记不记得？”
慈安轻轻“嗯”了一声，声音低得几乎听不见。
“臣当时在二门站班，大约……嗯，未末申初的时候吧，圣母皇太后应已歇过了午觉，懿旨传了过来，着臣入垂花门内觐见。”
慈安大大一愣。
垂花门是内宅的大门，垂花门内，是内眷的居所，正常情况下，御前侍卫站班的地方，应在垂花门外就像关卓凡那样，垂花门内，是太监、宫女的差使。慈禧就算在省亲的时候接见关卓凡这其实是不合体制的也该在正厅一类地方，怎么，把一个外臣，传进了……内宅？
“彼时，”关卓凡继续说道，“去美国的事儿，已经定了下来，圣母皇太后对臣有所训谕，臣一一应承。最后，臣说，‘臣此次远渡重洋，万里波涛，说句不大吉利的话，也不晓得，能不能够活着回来，再替国家办事？因此，有一件物事，想先交给太后。’”
听“远渡重洋，万里波涛”、“也不晓得，能不能够活着回来”，慈安的心，先颤了一颤，最后听到“有一件物事”，愣了一愣，不由就问了出来：“物事？什么物事？”
问得好。
“就是那只……金刚镯子。”
“金刚镯子？啊！……”
想起来了，如意洲花海的帐篷内，懿贵妃交给马军佐领关卓凡的……“定情信物”。
方家园里，关卓凡当时说的是，“臣受恩深重，焉敢还有奢望？这一只镯子，不敢再私留了。”
意思是，该报答的。你圣母皇太后已报答得足够，自己不敢居功自傲，留下这个“证物”，要挟人主。
然而。此时慈安的理解，却自然而然变成了：“定情信物”缴回，寓意“斩断情丝”，今后，彼此再无牵扯。
“圣母皇太后伸手来接。”关卓凡说，“臣伸手去递，一瞥之间”
说到这儿，关卓凡顿了一顿，轻轻叹了口气：“唉”
慈安的心儿不由就高高的提了起来。
关卓凡缓缓说道：“皓腕如玉，雪白耀目，和如意洲那晚的情形，一模一样，臣当时……唉，又昏了头……”
慈安高高提起的心。在半空中，猛的一晃。
“臣抬起头来，朦胧之中，又一次，分不清楚，上座的，到底是圣母皇太后，还是……母后皇太后？迷迷糊糊，便又……捏住了那只柔夷……”
慈安的心，晃了一晃。再晃一晃，终于颓然的跌落下来。
原来……如此。
“这之后，”关卓凡低声说道，“就……分不开了。”
洗心斋内。沉默再现，男人和女人，粗细、轻重不一的呼吸，清晰可闻。
过了许久，慈安终于打破了沉默，声音里有着莫名的苦涩：“那。今后，你打算……怎么办？”
“臣……不晓得。”
慈安立时就急了：“不晓得？你！……”
顿了一顿，喘了口气，略略放缓了声调：“你糊涂！你难道，还想继续和她……”
“太后明鉴，臣实在……有不得已的苦衷。”
“不得已的苦衷？你……好，你说，什么‘不得已的苦衷’？”
“臣和她……呃，这个，非一日……之寒，枝连蔓牵，现在，又不慎……呃，有了……呃……”
关卓凡说话，一向流畅便给，如此回话，一路“呃”、“呃”，前所未有，慈安听着，都觉得有点儿不忍心了。
但终于也顺畅了起来：“如果，遽然一刀两断，不论臣说什么，不论如何陈情，只怕……”
顿了顿，“她都会以为，臣，起了……二心。”
慈安一震。
这……还真有可能。
不，不是可能，照“她”的为人，一定会这么想。
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