第2章 我带你们走上人生巅峰
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大话西游,这毫无疑问已经属于神魔世界,但尼玛,这个神魔世界,因为是星爷无厘头巅峰的扛鼎之作,所以注定不是一般的神魔世界,实在是太奇葩了,这里面就没有一个脑回路正常的,大名鼎鼎的菩提老祖,入了凡尘,就化身成了葡萄,结果面对俩妖怪,都特么打不过,而对上人间妖王牛魔王,更是被虐得可以怀疑人生,只能跑路。更多小说ltxs520.com
菩提老祖何许人也?那可是一个精通道教、佛教及诸子百家祖师级的高手,收孙悟空为徒,传授他七十二般变化、筋斗云,然后坐看大圣吊打仙界,来历神秘非常,恐怕也就是比如来要逊色些,对上观音,以及如来麾下诸多罗汉金刚菩萨,也可丝毫不落下风。
奇葩!
叶锋只能这么说了,二当家、瞎子等人气喘吁吁,听了瞎子的话,二当家哈哈大笑:“还用你说,兄弟们今天终于可以开个荤了……咳咳!”嘴里吐出一大坨黏黏的沙子。
额。
叶锋皱了皱眉头,嫌弃地看着这一群山贼,连吐槽的兴致都没了,实在是看不下去了啊。他咋舌道:“诸位英雄好汉,不着急,反正我又没打算走。”
二当家瞪了叶锋一眼,火了:“走?哼!落在我水路三十八寨手中,你还想走?小子!你很不给面子啊。”
神特么水路三十八寨,这是沙漠!
叶锋配合着诚惶诚恐道:“啊,诸位英雄好汉莫怪,小弟初涉江湖,不懂规矩,不知道我应该怎么做,才算给诸位英雄好汉,嗯,面子?”
二当家满意地点了点头,“你小子至少应该诚惶诚恐才对,你要明白,我们可是山贼,你注定要被我们抢,你搞得这么淡定,我们是不是很没有面子?”
“是,不知小弟现在的表现能不能让诸位当家满意?”叶锋的表演还在继续。
“不错,不错。哈哈哈,你小子很有天赋!”
二当家满意大笑起来,跟着一挑眉,傲然道,“看见了没有,我‘一夜八次郎’的名声不是白叫的,我还没动手,他就认怂了!”
喂,你哪来的骄傲啊,一群人衣衫褴褛,混得连乞丐都不如。叶锋翻了个白眼。
其他山贼立即跟着附和起来,瞎子口水流了一大坨,插口道:“二当家的英明神武,足以惊天地泣鬼神,这我们早就知道了,不过还是快快解决这小子,先劫财,再劫色,最后再绑票!”
二当家狠狠拍了瞎子脑袋一下,道:“劫你妈.的色啊,死玻璃!给我滚开!”跟着转过身,双手叉腰,嘚瑟冲叶锋叫道,“小子,我看你还算识时务,就不为难你了,赶紧把银子全交出来,再跟我们回去,让你家里人来赎。否则,哼哼哼,我们的手段……”
“你们的手段怎样?”
“我们的手段很残酷的。”
“当真?”
二当家挤眉弄眼,凶狠道:“非但残酷,简直就是残忍啊。”
叶锋耸了耸肩,不玩了,笑道:“巧了,我的手段其实也很残酷,哎,简直就是残忍。”
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