第126章 柳三变的烦恼
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柳三变漫应道：“为什么要卖了呢？当时建的时候费了许多心，一直住下去岂不是好？你又有样貌，又善解人意，嫁妆又不缺，招个人老实，又善做经纪的汉子入赘到家里来，守着这份家业，多少是好？”
“七郎，这里是杀猪巷，住在这里的有什么正经人家？只要手脚不缺，哪个汉子会入赘到这里来？我嫁了人，从此就要收起心思，规规矩矩为人（妻）了！”
“怎么就不是正经人家了？你们只不过是靠着唱曲挣钱养家，又没比别人少到哪里去！”听到这话，柳三变有些激动。“难不成在家里大门不出，二门不迈的大家闺秀才是正经人家？冬冬，以后你莫要再说这种没志气的话！”
柳三变这几十年的人生，就是在这些地方渡过，怎么不正经呢？在他的心里，这是天底下最正经的地方。城南的杀猪巷，城北的牛马市，这些小巷子的青楼楚台是他最熟悉的地方。如果可能，他还想在这里终老一生呢。
徐冬冬看着柳三变，笑了笑，笑容里带着苦味。这里是青楼妓馆，不仅仅是给人唱曲，还要陪着人睡觉呢。柳七可以在这里白吃白睡，别人可不是这样啊！在这人世间，能够用钱买到的，那些只属于人心的东西，有几样是被人看作正经的呢？
没有再争辨，这又有什么意义？把这积翠楼卖出去，找个老实人，能够听自己的话，能够对自己知冷知热的人做一生倚靠，徐冬冬就跟这里，就跟以前的生活没有任何关系了。就连徐冬冬这个名字，以后也不会再存在这世界上。
冬冬、师师、香香，这些名字一听就是用色艺娱人的，不是做下人的，正经人家谁会取？这就是艺名，是她们这些人做生意时的招牌，一旦不做这生意了，招牌也就该摘下来了。名字一会，穿锦衣罗，谁还会知道她以前的身份？
青楼卖唱，不是做一辈子的事情，到了年纪，终究还是要找个老实人嫁了。最可惜的是，在这种地方长大生活惯了的女孩子，真地找个老实人，也是诸般过不惯，闹出了多少人间惨剧？徐冬冬今年二十三岁了，平时跟相熟的姐妹说起来，最忧心的就是嫁人之后自己收不住心，还想着以前的风月情事。都知道找个老实人，自己也要老老实实做人家，但野了这么多年的心，有几人能够一下子沉下来？
见柳三变靠在榻上看着窗外神情落寞，并没有把自己的事情向心里去，徐冬冬的心里有些无奈。积翠楼不是柳三变惟一落足的地方，京城里还有陈师师，还有赵香香一班名妓，他的脚顺了不定就走到哪一家去。
你心里念着眼里望着的那个人靠不住，他的心里也没有你。你可以倚靠的那个人却不入你的眼，不会填词作曲，不会知冷知热，不会逗趣调笑，这是她们的无奈。
见柳三变一直没有精神，徐冬冬不由道：“七郎，我看你神情恹恹，自昨夜一直到现在都没有精神，心里是有什么事放不下吗？”
柳三变叹口气道：“冬冬，我也不瞒你。昨天我遇上了一个贵人，在朝廷里的地位非比寻常，若得他的青眼，不定以后仕途就一帆风顺。天赐予我良机，那贵人填了一首词出来，却入不得调。奈何！奈何！我却一直把调子调不好，唱不得！冬冬，你说我是不是时乖命骞，大好的机会在面前，却使出浑身力气也抓不住！”
（备注：徐冬冬、陈师师、赵香香和积翠楼的名字借自喻世明言的《众名姬春风吊柳七》，那文里对柳永的身世年纪纯是附会，本书只是借这几个名字而已。）
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