第184章 自伤身世
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直到太阳西垂，凉风渐起，众人尽兴，才准备散了。徐平的府第在城外，不能待得太晚，影响城门的启闭。
乘着酒兴，赵祯对学士们道：“徐待制说起过两天要送一台刻摆到洛阳司天监那里去，此是朝廷盛事，不知有哪位愿意走这一趟啊？”
众人面面相觑，大热的天气，路上辛苦，没有人吭声。
正在这时，喝得满脸通红的欧阳修高声道：“陛下，臣愿往！”
赵祯看着欧阳修，点点头道：“好，便就由你，与司天监的官员和宫里内侍，一起送去洛阳司天监。此事涉及国家礼制，不可疏忽了！”
欧阳修高声应诺。
等到赵祯转身与宰执们说起其他事情，蔡襄对欧阳修道：“如此炎热天气，永叔怎么想起来要跑这一趟？这刻摆是徐待与人制的，他左右无事，为何不是他去？”
欧阳修道：“君谟想的差了！我到洛阳，是想到钱思公家里吊唁一番。当年我们为河南府幕僚时，钱公待我们甚厚，有此机会怎能放过？”
“原来如此，永叔有心了。等明天我也备一份祭礼，你一起带去。”
钱惟演在随州去世，此时他家里已经把棺椁迎回。当年在他河南府幕下的欧阳修等人受他恩惠不少，一直想着亲自去拜祭。既然要送刻摆去洛阳司天监，要馆阁出人随行，欧阳修便就抢先提出来，借着公事，顺便去吊唁。
众人散去，一夜无话。
到了第二天，便有人知会欧阳修，明日起程。一早先从永宁侯府里取了刻摆，直接装车沿着驿路去西京河南府，洛阳城，限五日内送到司天监。
当晚，欧阳修召集了当年的钱幕文人在京师的聚会饮宴，告诉大家这个消息。席间回忆起钱惟演的种种好处，有的人不由失声痛哭。
钱惟演改官随州后，王曙接任河南府长官，就已经变得严厉，众人再没有以前闲散舒适的日子。后来被荐入馆阁，还想着从此又过上了快活日子，没想到来了京城之后却诸事不顺。像欧阳修等人，钱惟演在的时候，待他们这些人如上宾，没有丝毫上司的架子，是以文友相待。那个时候他们刚刚出仕，过的就是无案牍之劳形，往来无白丁的神仙日子，起点实在太高。钱惟演一走，他们的心理落差非常大。
尤其是欧阳修，自视甚高，结果几次徐平都不给他面子，上次更是当着许多人的面斥责。欧阳修再是表现得洒脱，也只是把心里的失落压到心底深处，不让人看出来而已。那是徐平，不是什么元老重臣，文坛名宿，跟自己也不过差不多大的年纪。又没有半分文采，纯靠着运气比自己早一届登第，有什么了不起的吗？
当年都是一起参加省试的，欧阳修因为粗疏，诗赋再次出韵而未过省试。徐平不显山不露水，顺顺当当地一路走到最后。本来只是一甲进士，谁想到天突然放晴，张知白的灵机一动，就此当上了一等进士。从此一骑绝尘，如今两人已是天壤之别。
梅尧臣见欧阳修眼睛通红，失魂落魄，对他道：“永叔何必做小儿女态，钱思公在随州虽然落魄，殃后朝廷还是以礼相待，并没有什么遗憾！”
蔡襄笑道：“圣俞这话说得不得要领，永叔不但是为钱公伤心，怕也是在自伤身世。当年在洛阳时人人都道他是第一才子，到了京城却处处受挫，难免伤感。”
梅尧臣冷笑道：“有什么好伤感的！我年过三旬，却几次科场失意，至今没个出身！想人把苏舜钦与我合称‘苏梅’，今年苏舜钦也已经中第，只有我依然失意。你们在馆阁是育材，我在馆阁却只是读书，说起来不是丢死个人！大丈夫岂可因为一时顿挫，便哭哭泣泣自怨自艾，那还有什么出息！”
尹洙咳嗽一声，道：“圣俞不必这么说，当年在洛阳，钱公最是看重永叔。如今他英年早逝，永叔伤感，也是人之常情。”
梅尧臣摇了摇头，再不说话，只是喝酒。
要讲自恃才华，梅尧臣又何尝差于欧阳修？诗文并称，此时梅尧臣的名头已经渐渐有要超过石延年的架势，是文坛最被看好的未来诗坛领袖。却在今年再次落第，还是靠着叔叔梅询，才赖在馆阁不走，等着下一次制科考试的机会。要说不得意，他比欧阳修不得意多了。只是梅尧臣性格刚强偏激，最看不得别人哭哭啼啼。
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