第82章 糊弄
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李中易心想,大戏正式开场,怎么哄住盛怒中的贵妃,就看他上辈子练出的基本功,是否扎实可靠。
“臣李中易,滚进来了。”李中易大步进殿,快到花蕊夫人的御座跟前,“哎呀。”他手里的象笏忽然掉到了地上,慌忙弯腰捡了起来。
费贵妃发觉李中易头上的乌纱帽居然戴歪了,不由冷冷的一哼,斥道:“殿前失仪该当何罪?”
李中易故意装出一副苦瓜脸,吞吞吐吐的说:“应该罚俸一月……三月……”瞥见花蕊夫人的脸色沉了下来,他就跟着加了码。
按照蜀律,殿前失仪,也就是罚俸一个月的罪过,这也是李中易敢于故意出丑露乖的根本原因。
实际上,就算是李中易犯了大过,花蕊夫人也没办法予以直接的惩处。
要知道,在整个大蜀国,四品以上的实职大员,全都加一块也不超过百人。
而且,决定李中易去留的公文程序,不是一般人可以想象的复杂。
换句话说,以花蕊夫人目前渐渐失宠的现状,李中易又刚刚立下赫赫战功,即使他有些小小的过错,孟昶也不可能深究。
“哼,堂堂四品的少监,什么时候变得如此的油嘴滑舌?”花蕊夫人只要一看见李中易的坏笑,心里就来气,忍不住对他冷嘲热讽。
李中易暗暗松了口气,以前,校花老婆生气的时候,他就怕她不说话。
嘿嘿,只要开了口,李中易有的是办法,逆转局面。
“禀贵妃,外面的那些贱奴,一个个都玩野了心,微臣一定好好的整治他们。”李中易故意岔开花蕊夫人的嘲讽,
“吾要杀了他们。”花蕊夫人突然想起爱猫不见了,忍住不又来了气性。
李中易拱着手说:“现在就杀了,那也太便宜了他们。微臣以为,要先在鼻子里边灌花椒水,再架上老虎凳,然后,吊到半空中,狠狠的抽鞭子。要打得他们皮开肉绽,屁股开花,哭爹喊娘。”他采用通俗易懂的民间土话,演绎了一大段整人的戏码。
花蕊夫人一阵愕然,她本出自民间,听得懂往鼻子里灌花椒水,却搞不明白,老虎凳是什么东东?
见花蕊夫人沉默不语,李中易故意扭头看了看,环伺于四周的内侍和宫女们。
李中易这么明显的暗示,让花蕊夫人明白,他一定是私下里有话要说。
“汝等且都退下。”花蕊夫人迟疑了片刻,最终还是想听一听,李中易究竟想说些什么。
宫女们和内侍们得了吩咐后,全都应声退出殿外。几名花蕊夫人的贴身亲信宫女,虽然也跟着退下了,但依然留在视线范围之内。
李中易稍微上前了半步,刻意压低声音,提醒说:“不瞒贵妃,刚才微臣来的路上,看见刘充仪宫里的内侍,正在殿外探头探脑。”
实际上,李中易这是典型的睁眼说瞎话,就算是见到了刘充仪宫里的内侍,那也仅仅是人家认识他罢了。
“你的意思是?”花蕊夫人的心里猛然一惊,也来不及多想,急问李中易。
这种时候,刘充仪派人窥视她的宫内,简直就象是秃子头顶之上的苍蝇,明摆着没安好心。
花蕊夫人这一问,正中了李中易的下怀,他故意叹了口气,小声说:“代掌凤印之权,恐怕是被人惦记上了。”
“此话怎讲?”花蕊夫人的心里,顿时蒙上了一层阴影。
由于李中易曾经治愈了她的皮肤之疾,花蕊夫人一直对他的精湛医术,非常信任。
李中易被迫出征之前,花蕊夫人只要觉得身子不爽利,就指名道姓的要李中易来瞧瞧。
人熟是个宝!
有了这么一段往日的渊源在,花蕊夫人对李中易态度,难免有些优容。
“贱奴们犯了错,贵妃尽可以吩咐微臣,该怎么收拾,就怎么整治。”李中易除非是脑子进水了,才可能把话说得那么白,他故意又转了个话题,“只是,这些贱奴的性命虽贱,若是给人利用了……”
官场之上说话办事,既要让上司理解你的意思,又不能傻傻的把话说穿。否则,你比领导聪明得多,就等着穿领导的小鞋吧。
见花蕊夫人陷入到沉思之中,李中易明白,他的暗示奏了效。
花蕊夫人能够从民女,当上代后的贵妃,仅靠美貌,是不可能滴。
按照李中易的理解,越是美丽的女人,就越容易高估她自己的魅力。
只不过,男人,尤其是拥有最高选美权的皇帝,无一例外,都有喜新厌旧的坏毛病。
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