第一章灵台方寸遇猴王
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那猢狲有些糊涂了，它掰着指头算到：“神仙才能吃蟠桃？可神仙不是已经长生不死了吗？我要吃蟠桃，就要成为神仙，但我成了神仙，还吃什么蟠桃啊？那些神仙一个个长生不死，他们吃蟠桃……老神仙……你都把我说糊涂了！”
“这有什么糊涂的？”陈昂给他算到：“就好比凡人……要当官，首先要有官来举荐，有官举荐，他自己早就是官了！这为难的，是你们这些跟官沾不着边的人……”
“神仙不需要吃蟠桃，需要吃蟠桃的，他吃不着！”
那猢狲勃然大怒起来，它骂道：“好混账的神仙，他们一个个都长生不老了！还跟我们抢什么蟠桃……老神仙，那五庄观往哪里走？”
“你去哪里干什么？”陈昂问道：“可是想求一个人参果来吃？”
那猢狲点头道：“这天高不见底，瑶池高远，我没有本事如何能去，还是五庄观近一些，那镇远大仙，若是个和善人家，我就向他求一个人参果来吃，若是和那些神仙一样……我就去偷一个回来，若是能偷着两个，还可分你老人家一半。”
陈昂笑道：“你知道镇元子多大本事，就想偷人家的人参果来吃？”
“我还是跟你说说如何当官吧！”陈昂道：“三灾九难且不说他，这是天地来杀你，只说要去天庭灵山当官，就有无数劫难，官小一些的，千儿八百劫，官大一些的，数十百万劫，若是要做玉皇大帝啊！那要无量量劫，刀劈斧砍，雷轰火烧，难如登天啊！”
猢狲吓得屏气吞声，惊骇问：“那天庭的神仙，都是这般修来的吗？这般苦难，如何能有那么多神仙？”
“不是啊！”陈昂笑道：“这般苦难，如何能有人成仙？”
“当然是买官卖官，巴结拍马，亲朋好友提携，或是等待有神仙欣赏你，提携你也做个神仙，还有人间善人，转生天人道后，上天庭做童子玉女，天兵扫洒，若是有幸能伺候好一位神仙，人家伸伸手拉你一把，你就也能做神仙了！”
“还有就是杀人放火，自成妖魔，训练妖兵，结寨巡山，啸聚山林之后，等待那天上的神仙来招安你！他们为了平息事态，给你一个芝麻大的小官，你也就成仙成佛，当官做将了！”
看着目瞪口呆的猴子，陈昂摇头道：“你这样可不行，就算有幸当了神仙，也是得罪同僚，被人陷害，或是犯了天条，斩仙台上走一着的下场，还是去人间，历练个数十年再说！我看你阳寿三百余年，还有大半，先去人间当一百年的官，把天上神仙在凡间的各个道场打点好了，在找机会上去吧！”
那猴子三魂走了俩，六魄散了三，听得陈昂给他大讲天庭官场经，浑浑噩噩不知不觉就随他来到了山上，远远望见一座洞府，仙家气象，十分不凡，左手一石碑写到：灵台方寸山，斜月三星洞！
猴子知道地方到了，但并不十分开心。
它看到洞府门口有童子站着，也没有冲过去，只是抓着陈昂的衣服问道：“这童儿英姿不凡，伴随神仙左右，可能成仙？”
陈昂正眼望过去，算出童子的前世今生，看透了他的五脏六腑，摇头道：“俗骨未蜕，日后只是有些本事的道士，成不了仙！”
那猢狲赶上去问：“滋扰仙童了！”
那童子正色道：“你就是那个来访道的么？怎么让我等你那么久？快和我进去见祖师！”
猢狲告罪道：“我是来学长生不老之术的……敢问仙童，你可能成仙么？”
“你胡说什么混话……我家祖师神通法力比神仙还广大，但你一个访道修行的猢狲，也想要成仙？神通易得，正果难求……你还进不进来了？”
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