第十三章雷公暗阻秦王昏
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咸阳乃关中胜地，老秦国都，位于八百里秦川腹地，渭水穿南，嵕山亘北，山水俱阳，故称咸阳。昔年周懿王时镐京被侵占，懿王迁都犬丘，秦先祖父秦非子与其父大骆为周天子牧马于犬丘，于咸阳左近，后因善牧马，而得封秦候。
秦都多变，秦非子得封秦都（今陕西宝鸡东），后迁徙至先祖牧马之地犬丘，再迁乎阳、栎阳，最后定都于咸阳。
秦国西临犬戎，民风剽悍，又勒守关中形胜，一贯比较封闭，若非有尹喜这个函谷关前关令带领，陈昂等人要进秦都，还有些难碍，秦国四下里关卡禁守，有国人，野人，士人之别，若非陈昂等人博带雅冠，气度非同俗流，老聃曾做过守藏室之史，驾车的尹喜乃是周大夫，扼守入秦重关的关令，在秦地颇有些人脉，还轻易过不了这重重关卡。
这秦都之中，未有能望见圣人气的人物，故而老子大贤入秦，居然不为秦王所知，倒是叫一个缇方士知道了，这方士有些灵感，市井有传言说，他能通神，故而为秦太后所信任，出入宫闺如无人之境，常常与太后说长生丹法，托言神旨，甚至干涉朝政。
陈昂、老聃入秦之前，这缇方士夜里入梦之时，却看见一个青面獠牙，无腮尖嘴，背生双翼的怪物，并一位乘乌云而来，缇方士感应通灵的人物，如何不知这乃是天上发雷闪电的雷公电母？便急忙拜见，问其来意。
电母才提到：“我夫妇入梦来，乃是有事托你去办！”
缇方士诺道：“二位神人神通广大，法力无边，又有何事需要我这人间小小巫觋效力？在下必不敢辞！”
才听那雷公道：“天行有常，受命玉皇。前些时候，我等奉大天尊之命，行雷布电，助那龙王兴云行雨，来到函谷关地界，我左手引连鼓，右手敲椎，她亦使闪电凿云，旁边风婆巽郎相助，推云童子、布雾郎君同行，正要等四海龙王到，下上好大一场雨。”
“岂料下方有一妖猴，仗着一两手神通，行事便无法无天，十分猖獗，竟敢借此机会，戏弄我等。他掌中发雷，牵引阴阳枢纽变化，叫我手中连鼓、尖锥乱颤，四方闪电轰鸣，竟然提前引动天地气机，使得雷电在我等手中炸开。”
“害我等灰头土脸，在那风婆雨师、云童雾君、四海龙王面前好生丢脸难看！他们暗中笑我，传的九天十地都知道，就连九天雷声普化天尊都曾问起，如此大仇，岂能不报？”
缇方士拜道：“二位神尊乃是雷府中人，哪个妖类敢不给面子？这等桀骜不驯之辈，好胆撒泼之妖，只要二位启奏五方雷帝，让它劫难提前发作，到时候两位神将鼓雷凿电，用天雷劈死它！便可一解心中恶气。何须小子？”
“你道那妖猴背后没有人撑腰么？”电母冷笑道：“那妖猴造化不小，他拜了个师尊，是天外异教无量教主，降下圣人法身；同行的师伯，乃是太上老君降世，老君在天宫中地位尊崇，如今下凡来化胡为佛，乃是天庭大业。我等怎好在老君化身面前，劈死那妖猴？”
“这……”缇方士迟疑不定，电母脸色就是一变，冷声道：“你刚才说必不敢辞，莫非是糊弄我们的，这点小事也要推脱？”
“小的不敢唬弄尊神！”缇方士连连求告道：“只是那妖猴有如此来历，神通必定不凡，只恐不是对手啊！而且若是老君插手，小的如何敢与其相争？”
“这你不必担心……”雷公冷哼道：“我等并非要你取了那妖猴的性命，只是叫你为难它，它西去过关，必要求文牒，那时你在狠狠折辱它便是。老君无为，哪会管这些小事？”
听到只是折辱一通，缇方士便放下担心，圣人不显其法，就是老君化身到了这秦国之中，亦是要有求于自己，就凭这些年取得秦太后的信任，想要作弄一只猴妖，岂不容易？到时候结好两位神尊，若有机缘，不就能挣一个出身，再不是人间散仙一流，也入天宫做个有司职的神仙。
缇方士便命人在秦都城门口附近等候，见到老君一行，便回去禀告他。
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