番外：降魔四
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
“你知不知道，当年我为什么被称为齐天大圣？”
悟空指着他鼻子问道，陈玄奘摇了摇头。
“不知道你还敢随便乱说？当年我在花果山自由自在，分外逍遥。后来天庭派人下来，说我是小产权，花果山要拆迁，建一处新的神仙洞府，连拆迁补偿都没有，还派了李靖的强拆大队来……我能忍吗？”
“不能啊！”
“于是我邀便五湖四海的朋友，还有一众拆迁户，在花果山抗击强拆，抗击了七天七夜，多少天庭神仙过来都被我打败了！所以道上的兄弟才尊我一声——齐天大圣！”
“后来天庭无耻啊！他见我不屈不挠，就去请灵山第一高级法院的如来佛祖过来调解，我当时傻乎乎的信了。如来佛祖跟我说，你签了吧！我给你一套灵山地产的安置房先住着，还有一系列补偿。”
“后来我就签了。补偿到了这套号称三千亩果园四时不断，临海千里沙滩尊贵独享。崭新黄金海岸，展望长安繁盛气象。三十万原始森林天然氧吧，五千平方公里居住面积自由自在的五指山豪华洞府。”
“后来我才知道，原来天庭强拆花果山，就是把地皮卖给了灵山地产开发集团。”
“现在开发商承诺的配套设施呢？我的私人海滩呢？我的五千亩果园呢？我的五千平方公里居住面积……哦！这个倒是落实了！但都他么是鸟不拉屎的地方啊！还有这个豪华洞府。”悟空摊开手示意那徒有四壁的洞窟，质问道：“就是这种破地方。”
“孙先生……”陈玄奘不知该说些什么好。
“我帮你把猪妖收服之后，不用别的，你就把那些承诺过的配套设施给落实了吧！”悟空摆手道。
“孙先生这个我办不到……”陈玄奘为难道。
“那你去找能办到的，去找如来佛祖去……好歹你也是灵山体制内的，帮我申诉一下总可以吧！先把海景弄出来，把大海淹到五指山，当年若不是说是套海景洞府，我傲来国住惯的会搬到这里来？”悟空指着五指山道。
“孙先生，你这里是大唐腹地啊！要海景，需要淹没大半个南瞻部洲，会死很多人的！”
“我不管，要么把花果山给我还回来！”悟空翘着二郎腿道。
“孙先生你这样让我很为难。”陈玄奘连降服猪妖的办法都不想问了——我要找的到如来佛祖，我还这里问你？
“你要找如来佛祖也简单，一你可以问降服猪妖的办法，二呢！顺便帮我催一催五指山的配套设施问题。”悟空回答道：“当年佛祖找我调解的时候，给了我一张名片，上面有它的联系方式……”
“那孙先生为什么不自己去催呢？”陈玄奘反问道。
悟空叹息一声：“都是迦叶尊者接听，佛祖不是在法会，就是在法会的路上……你是体制内的，或许能问道吧！”
陈玄奘双手合十道：“那就把佛祖的联系方式给我吧！”
悟空质疑道：“你可不能忘了！”
“我绝对不会忘得，孙先生。”
“说的好像你没忘过一样。”悟空嘟囔道，他往六字大光明咒石碑那里一指：“那就是佛祖的名片了。你拿到上面，对着月光，念出那六个字，等到月光旁边的乌云散去，就说明有人接了你的呼叫，就能联系到佛祖了。”
陈玄奘仔细端详了半天，忽然道：“孙先生，这个是不是佛祖镇压你的封印啊？”
悟空脸色变幻莫测，龇牙咧嘴道：“叫你拿去，你就拿去，你不肯拿去，还无缘无故怀疑我，我好心指点你，你居然怀疑我。你既然怀疑我，就不要过来求我指点你啊！这名片又不是什么大不了的东西，我以前嫌弃上面的字太丑，还重新刻了一遍呢。”
“你既然怀疑我，那你就把上面的咒语背下来，不用拿着石碑就好了。反正这就是一张名片，记住号码…咒语也能用。咒语总不会是我骗你的吧！”
陈玄奘还是怀疑道：“会不会我一念那个咒语，封印就失效了呢？”
“六字大光明咒流传很广的！”悟空摇头道：“你也是佛家弟子，不会认不出来吧！”
“但是不排除……”陈玄奘还想解释。
悟空打断他道：“够了！你怎么就唧唧歪歪个没完没了了还！如果佛祖想要封印我，怎么会设置一个随随便便就能被解开的封印，他这是在耍我还是在耍你呢？我知道我是个人才，但人才和用人单位之间，是要双向选择的对不对。”
“总不能你叫我去取经，我就去取经。”
“你说什么，孙先生。”陈玄奘疑惑道。
“我说什么你不用在意！快上去解开封印……啊不！是联系佛祖，刚刚口误了！你去联系佛祖，询问解决猪妖的办法，顺便帮我落实一下拆迁补偿的问题就好。”
“你刚刚说解开封印了！”陈玄奘认真道
“我不是！我没有！别瞎说！”悟空摇头。
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