江海生存手册 作者:川川累了
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
原因:听说会引起中国武术界人士的不满。不久前有个泰拳大师因为这样被个无名美女给废了。(第三一二节破坏)
13.不要去山上露营。人多也不一定安全
原因:这个早就说过了,遇到绑匪还不算什么,就怕有变态动刀动枪的。很危险。(家明在野营的一些列章节)
14.远离挂了巨型广告牌的大楼。城市中心的超市,甚至菜市场也都不那么安全。
原因:江海的变态特别多。闹市区都常有人用手榴弹,火箭筒来进行追杀。买个菜搞不好都会被误伤。所以江海市民一般一次性购买一个星期的食物。没事尽量不去菜场,超市之类的地方。江海的白领们身体素质也明显好于国内其他城市的同行们。因为他们每个星期都会组织训练怎么从几十层的高楼迅速逃生。(第四零八节染血的城池)
15.如果您不幸进了江海的号子,千万不要随便就参与群殴。
原因:看了上面的信息,您应该已经了解到江海有很多变态了。很多变态都有以一当百的能力的。小心被反扁哦(第四三一节乌河岭的过往)
16.不要去新城体育馆听演唱会。
原因:江海疯子太多了。杀手如云,变态如林啊。搞不好就有人想在演唱会上动手。(目前还在发展中)
17.不要随便去酒吧,夜总会之类的场所。
原因:有人以10点以后人生才开始来形容现代生活中夜店的重要性。但是朋友们,在江海,我劝您还是放弃这个念头吧。在江海的夜店里砸场,群殴,枪战等现象发生的频率特别的高。为了生命安全,请远离江海的酒吧!(很多章都有描写啦)
以上的这十七条建议其实还只是一个基本知识。要想在江海看到明天的太阳,只掌握这些还远远不够。您需要去积累经验。江海实在是一个恐怖的城市。在城市的任何地方,任何时间都可能发生火并。要在这里生存真的很难。最好的方法就是离开江海。中国这么大,我们能去的地方还有很多啊!
如果您想离开江海去选择其他的城市,请注意!要谨慎的避开另外两个城市。他们是裕江市和香港特别行政区。
WHY?
裕江市的特产糖炒栗子很有名啊。不过最好不要在银行门口的摊点上买。听说有糖炒栗子在附近的银行容易找贼。被误伤就划不来了(摘自家明的裕江奇遇。警花重新登场了。)
香港是不是一个安全的城市呢?很难说啊。那里黑帮太多了。很难说有一个地方是绝对安全的。所以最好不要去招惹他们。(摘自家明的香港之旅。方MM归来)
也许您会想,中国怎么这么危险啊。不如我去国外定居吧。无论是您有出国定居的想法,还是说您只是单纯地想出国旅游,我都建议您看一看中国外交部最新公布的《2009年中国公民出国旅游安全须知》。这里由于篇幅的限制,我就为大家摘取几个热门的国家供大家参考。
1.美国
美国是一个美丽的国家。不过没什么事您最好别去纽约,因为它被称为美国的江海。尤其是在纽约的曼哈顿区。那里的街道随时会出现火并的情景。而一旦到了冬天,漫天飞雪之时,还常会出现一个白衣美女手持两把微型冲锋枪在街上扫射。甚至连医院也不安全!曾经有恐怖分子扛了导弹去轰炸医院。(摘自家明的远征,XE的香蕉在这里推dao了雅涵老师)
2.法国
法国的巴黎被称为浪漫之都。不过您千万不要被它这个名头给骗了。因为它同时还与中国的江海,美国的纽约并称为世界三大恐怖死亡之城。您晚上去偏僻的街区试试,那里云集了众多的黑帮分子。随时会发生流血事件。(摘自家明的巴黎之旅。有高潮!史上最恐怖三人组!不过现在看来,这个最字可以去掉了。)
3.日本
日本基本上还是一个比较安全的国家。东京的意外死亡率也不是很高。中国游客只需要注意一下,不要去上野区的名藏剑道馆和郊区的日式私人别墅附近游玩就可以了。(摘自家明的日本之行。家明环游世界啊。这里最大龙套御哥挂了。)
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