第九五零章 裸奔
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走到半(上,随从们就听到轿子里发出‘呜呜呀呀’、‘莫哈莫哈’等种种怪异的声音,而且都司不光怪叫,还在轿子里上蹿下跳,把八名轿夫折腾的肩膀都快碎了!
“老爷这酒醉的太厉害了!”管事头子跟在轿子一旁,见状不禁暗暗心急,眼下正走在大街上,又没法停下来问问,大人您想不想吐,那不让堂堂二品都司大人把脸丢在大街上了吗?
管事头子一咬牙,吩咐轿夫道:“快走!赶紧回府!”他想的是,只要回府,把门一关,爱怎么耍酒疯就怎么耍!
轿夫们却被都司大人颠的支撑不住了,有人肩膀一歪,轿杆就滑落下来。这一滑不要紧,牵动着所有人都抬不住了!
砰地一声,轿子便落了地,里头也没了声息。
管事头子见状大急,一把推开惹了祸的轿夫,赶忙把脸凑到轿门口,小声问道:“老爷,您没事儿吧?”问了几遍,里头都没动静,管事头子赶忙掀开轿帘,想看看里头是什么情形。
谁知还没看清里头,先就眼前一花,管事头子被重重的撞飞出去!
那管事头子仰面飞在空中,分明看到一个赤条条的大汉,从轿子里窜了出来!由于位置的缘故,管事头子甚至能看到那人胯下大鸟!不过下一刻,那人一脚正落在管事头子脸上,登时把他踩落在地,晕厥过去!
那些轿夫、衙役、护卫一共五六十人,目瞪口呆的看着那满身黑毛的裸男,从轿子里窜出来,怪叫着冲出队伍,一头扎入大街上熙熙攘攘的人群中!
老百姓本来被撵到路旁,等都司大人通过,心里正暗骂狗官就会摆谱!孰料就看到从都司大人的八抬大轿里,冲出了一个浑身黑毛的中年裸男!
“好!都司大人裸奔了!”老百姓一下就沸腾了,这下可看到一辈子也瞧不见的光景了!人们激动的奔走相告,狂呼乱叫,也不管什么肃静回避了,一窝蜂跟着都司大人的屁股蛋儿追了上去!
那疑似都司大人的裸男冲到街道上,手舞之、足蹈之,口中狂呼乱叫之!还专门往女人堆里扎!
泉城百姓何曾见过此等裸奔?大姑娘、小媳妇、老太婆尖叫成一片,当然尖叫之余,不少女子偷偷从指缝偷窥那裸男的身子,尤其是他脐下三分的部位,暗自和自己见过的做着比较。
老爷们又觉得好玩儿又是来气,!这疯子那话儿实在太大,这让自家婆娘看去,脸上还怎么挂得住?!几条大汉便围上去,对那裸男骂道:“不知羞耻的东西!还不快把你那玩意儿挡上。不然割下来喂狗!”显然,这些人没看到这裸男是从哪里出来的,实在没法将他和堂堂山东都司联系起来!
但那裸男根本不鸟他们,自顾自手舞足蹈,晃动着那活儿要往前跑!几条大汉伸手去拉,却被他轻而易举甩倒在地,然后一路怪笑着呈麻花形向前跑去!
“!这疯子劲儿还真大,快追上他!”大汉们被扫了面子,恼羞成怒追了上去。这时,追着都司大人的人群也赶上来了,大街上的老百姓终于知道,那裸体疯子居然是从都司轿子上下来的!这下彻底沸腾了!大姑娘、小媳妇也不害羞了,小商小贩也不管自己的摊子了,呼呼啦啦跟上去,参观都司大人的裸体!
买卖什么时候都有,可都司大人的裸体却是千载难逢的啊!
远处,大街上只剩下都司大人的仪仗队,这些人一动不动,场面一片死寂。他们所有人都看到那裸男是从都司大人的轿子里冲出来的,除非都司大人在轿子里藏了个裸男,否则那裸男……应、该、就、是、都、司、大、人!
有人还不死心,挑开轿帘一看,只见里头是一堆凌乱的官袍、官帽、靴子、中单、还有一条大裤衩、一件红肚兜!就是没有一个人影……
所有人都在风中凌乱了,没人敢胡乱说话……能被选中做都司随从的都是聪明人,这时候谁敢说出真相?都司大人把自己扒光了,上街裸奔去了。你让大伙是去追还是不追?追的话,岂不坐实了老百姓的胡言乱语?还让都司大人怎么活?!可要是不追,难道就任都司大人继续裸奔下去不成?!
又过了一会儿,有人才想起他们的头儿来,赶忙七手八脚将被踩晕过去的管事头子扶起来,又是掐人中又是扇耳光,那管事头子才幽幽转醒,醒来第一句话就是:“我是不是在做梦啊!我怎么看着老爷在裸奔呢?”
“要是做梦就好了!”众人郁闷道:“您看的是真的,老爷不知发了什么疯,咱们可怎么办啊?!”
“还不赶紧把老爷追回来!”管事头子直跺脚道:“还要让他绕城一周不成?!”
“可咱们这一追,不就坐实了裸奔的是老爷吗?”众人苦着脸说道。
“也是!”管事头子定定神,他毕竟主意多,眉头一皱计上心头道:“就说那人是咱们抓的犯人不就成了?!”
“可不少人看到老爷从轿子上窜出来啊!”众人又道。
“造谣!”管事头子高声道:“谁敢造谣就杀他全家!还不快给我去追!”
那些随从们这才赶紧丢下轿子仪仗,朝人群消失的方向追去!
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