第586章 绑架事件(4)
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第586章绑架事件（4）
人生的悲哀有很多种，例如眼看到了嘴边的肥肉，能看能摸就是不能吃，这就算是一种。龙腾小说网ltxs520.com
房间里，将老虎一直恶狠狠的瞪着严新月，仿佛恨不能将她生吞活剥了整个吞进肚子里，可是想到自己刚才摸到的那个东西，他又不敢犯险。
严新月心惊胆颤的警惕地盯着他，以防他兽性大发的突然扑上来。
两人就这样大眼瞪小眼的对望一阵，百无聊赖的将老虎就有一搭没一搭的调戏起严新月来。
“喂，臭娘们，给爷说个笑话，让爷乐呵乐呵！”将老虎瞪着严新月道。
严新月恨恨的瞪将老虎一眼，闭嘴不屑搭理。
“臭娘们，不识抬举是不是，是不是想爷来场血腥大战？”将老虎突地站起来道。
“别，别，我说！我说！”严新月在他的淫威下，立即识趣的妥协，想了想就道：“话说某君再婚，新婚之夜，灯下看新娘，粉迹深处，皱纹如织。
新郎不禁怅然问道：娘子芳龄几何。
新娘：四十有二。
新郎怀疑：恐怕不止吧。
新娘：眼力不错，四十有五了。
新郎叹气：你我既然结为夫妻，何必撒谎！
新娘：实不相瞒，实足年龄五十四。
新郎娶了个五十几的老婆娘，自然不高兴，这床也不想上了，于是就想开溜，道：我先去厨房把盐罐盖上，免得老鼠偷吃。
新娘笑了：傻瓜，我活了六十八年，还没有听说过老鼠偷吃盐的呢！”
严新月说完了，将老虎却没有笑，反而眼睛直勾勾的盯着般般入画百般难描的严新月唉声叹气的问：“娘子，我倒是想洞房来着，可是你不方便啊！”
严新月气得直咬牙，却又是敢恨不敢言，只好转头不语。
“娘子，今年你芳龄几何啊？”将老虎伸手探到她的下巴，捏把她的脸转过来。
“四十五了！”严新月冷哼道。
“恐怕没有吧！”将老虎嬉皮笑脸的道，一只手欲探她的胸。
“三十六！”严新月吓得一闪，慌声的叫道。
“你我既然坐在同一张床上，何必撒谎呢！”将老虎道。
严新月气苦，赶紧的缩到墙角，死死的抱着自己道：“二十七，是真的，二十七！”
“麻辣隔壁的，二十几嫁了个五十几的老头，你也不嫌寒碜，他那玩意还能用吗？”将老虎愤怒的质目。
严新月冷眼相对，就算不能用，也不便宜你这个禽兽。
停了一下，将老虎又颇为感触的道：“是啊，如今社会，笑贫不笑娼，嫁个有钱的老头，吃香的喝辣的，总好过嫁个猛男吃苦受罪的强。万一这老鬼哪天突然虾米豆腐了，那遗产不全落到你头上了吗？高，比我们这种出来骗出来抢的高多了！”
严新月委屈得不行，却不屑争辩，她之所以嫁给彭大海，哪里是贪图荣华富贵，纯粹是为了报恩罢了。
“行了，我就算说中了你的心事，你也别拿着一张臭脸瞪着我，你刚才说的笑话一点也不好笑，给我说一个带味儿的，否则老子就让你知道我这是什么味！”
“哈哈……”将老虎拍着手掌，仰天大笑，少倾又道：“再说一个，挤公车的！”
严新月被逼得没办法，只好又说一个：“一公车上，老头旁边坐者一个女的，女的睡着了。下车的时候女的给老头一耳光，售票员不解问其原因。老头说，我上车的时候看见这个女的睡着了，我就帮忙拉上了，后来这女的醒了，我害怕她误会，我又给拉开了！”
“这个好笑，哈哈！”将老虎大笑起来……
一连两个小时，将老虎硬是逼着严新月说了几十个笑话，不但要公车的，而且还得带味儿的。
“……一辆公共汽车上一个男的光着脚，翘着二郎腿坐着。不一会上来一女的，女的里面没穿裤衩，站在男的正前方，忽然一个急刹车，男的大拇脚指头一下捅进女的那里面去了，到了晚上男的觉的脚指头奇痒无比，于是他就去了医院，医生告诉他的脚得性病了。男的很气怒吼，你会不会看病，脚怎么会得性病！医生火却更大，草，我知道怎么回事啊，刚才来个女的，那儿还得脚气呢……”
将老虎笑得前仰后翻，停下之后，眼睛再次盯着眼前的绝色美女，又感觉自己确实是傻，人家有脚气都不怕，自己还怕撞红？放着这么个窈窕性感得一掐就会出水似的大美人不推倒，竟然顾忌这个顾忌那个，实在是傻得离谱，像长毛说的，就算那儿不行，那不是还有两个地方吗？
终于，将老虎失控了，再次扑到床上，把严新月拉到床中间，随后就压了上去。
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