第七百九十七章 打个广告先
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“哎哟,爹爹莫打,且给孩儿三分面子。龙腾小说网ltxs520.com.”
高衙内被李奇这一巴掌拍的差点一头栽到在地,捂着头就嚷嚷道。
爹爹?李奇一愣之下,差点没有笑喷出来,但随即就明白过来,在这东京的一亩三分地上,敢这么拍高衙内头的人,还真不多,暗笑,估计俅哥也常使用这一招,给这厮造成了心理阴影。沉声喝道:“康儿---。”
“孩儿在。”
高衙内刚一应声,听着声音不对,倏然抬头一看,惊恐的指着李奇,道:“是---是你?”
李奇招招手笑道:“是我。”
高衙内看清来人,登时火冒三丈,冲上前,咆哮道:“李奇,你是不是疯了,为何突然打我?”
周华和洪天九忽然同时露出惊恐之色,面面相觑。洪天九赶紧上前拉了拉高衙内。
高衙内一挥手,怒道:“小九,你可是知道今曰我这发髻是谁梳的,李奇这厮弄乱我发髻在先,戏弄我在后,我岂能饶他,你一边呆着去。”
“我没打算劝架呀。”洪天九嘀咕一声,眼眸一转,拱火道:“李大哥,这可真是你的不对了,哥哥他这发髻乃是南城外豆腐坊的韦二娘今早才梳的,不到两个时辰,你就给弄乱了,这次我可不帮你了。”
对哦,我等还从未见过李大哥动手干架。周华忙点点头道:“是极,是极,大哥你这么做太道了。”
再厚道也没你这胖子厚,这俩小子是打算看好戏呀。
“靠!”
李奇忽然惊叫一声。
高衙内吓得一怔,下意识道:“你这是啥意思?”
李奇又猛吸一口冷气,一把搂住高衙内,歼笑道:“衙内,厉害呀,那韦二娘我可是见过的,真叫一个水灵,虽然二三四十好几了,但是风韵犹存,魅力不减当年,就如一块光滑剔透的豆腐,让人垂涎欲滴,欲罢不能,这都能让你得手,你真不亏为我汴京第一情圣呀。”其实他哪里知道什么韦二三娘的。
果然,高衙内听得脸色大变,下意识的摸了摸鬓上那朵红花,嘿嘿道:“李奇,虽然外面很多人传言你说话是我大宋最不不可信的,不过,本衙内一直都挺相信你的,觉得你这人挺实诚的。”
md,是哪个王八羔子在外面造谣,要让老子知道,非得废了他不可。李奇暗骂一句,嘴上却笑道:“那是,那是,改曰教我几招?”
“好说,好说。”高衙内乐呵呵道。
一旁的洪天九、周华登时无语了。洪天九可是一个好事的家伙,小声提醒道:“哥哥,你忘了你发髻被弄乱了吗?”
李奇双目一瞪,你丫真是不舍不弃呀!
高衙内登时反应了过来,不爽道:“李奇,你还没有说呢?你方才为何打我?”但是语气已经缓和很多了。
李奇眼眸一转,怒哼一声,煞有其事道:“你还好意思说,我方才那可是在救你呀。你可知不知道,你方才可是犯了大错,论罪当处以极刑,若是让太尉知晓,哼,你今年都甭想出来了。”说着他又指着洪天九和周华这俩混蛋,骂道:“还有你们两小子,是活的不耐烦了,想试试斩头的滋味吧?”
高衙内刚得一少妇,一听今年都甭出来了,吓得后背冷汗涔涔,吞着口水说道:“李奇,本衙内何许人也,你休想吓我。”
我就是吓你的,我还要吓死你,你奈我何?李奇摇摇头,道:“死到临头的人都爱嘴硬,我且你们问,你们三个方才在叫那蛐蛐啥?”
高衙内脱口道:“金刀厨王。”
正想阻止的洪天九,懊恼的低下头,道:“哥哥,其实咱们可以打死不承认的。”
高衙内不屑道:“怕什么?这名字多有气势,放在李奇身上忒浪费了。”
这个白痴,那你也不用放在蛐蛐上面呀。李奇忍着怒火,竖起大拇指,道:“好呀,衙内,你真是厉害,这金刀厨王可是皇上钦封的,你们三个竟敢将皇上钦封的称号,用在一只蛐蛐身上,此乃大大大大不敬之罪啊!恐怕太尉也不敢如此,很好,很好,衙内,我李奇算是服你了。马桥,我们先去太尉府走一趟。”
高衙内被他忽悠的一愣一愣,忙拉住李奇,道:“你---你去我家作甚?”
“找太尉聊天呀!”
“聊啥?”
“啥都聊。”
高衙内心中一凛,若是让我爹爹知晓了,那还得了,且忍一忍,衙内报仇,十天不晚。呵呵道:“李奇,你可不能这么做呀,太不讲义气了。”
周华赶紧挡在前面,谄笑道:“大哥,我们知道错了,你就饶我们一回吧。”
“是啊!况且这不管我们的事,是哥哥取得,我们只是跟着喊。”
洪天九也赶紧走了过来,拉着李奇另一只手,很没义气的说道。二人挤着眼泪,苦苦哀求,情绪高昂,根本无法抑制。
“艹!胖子,胖子,你丫想作甚,这大腿是你能抱的么?”
李奇见周华被激动的准备抱他大腿,赶紧喝止道。这那是些富人子弟,简直就是三个泼皮无赖呀。
面对下三滥的招数,李奇还真没有破解的办法,赶紧抽出身来,道:“得得得,我不去太尉府了,你们离我远一点就行了。”
三个人面色一喜,赶紧点头道谢,就如同三个知错能改的小学生一样。
马桥完全懵了,明明就是李奇先动手的,怎地弄到现在,反倒高衙内他们要向李奇道谢。
李奇见好就收,道:“那我先走了,你们慢慢玩。”
这话刚落音,忽听得一声撕心裂肺的叫喊,“我的金刀---。”
不待高衙内说完,洪天九和周华赶紧捂住他的嘴。
李奇低头一看,只见一只蛐蛐五脏爆出,横尸街头,惨无人道。
高衙内愤怒的推开笑洪天九,怒不可遏道:“这---这又是哪个鸟人干的,我要杀了他。”
洪天九和周华同时指向高衙内。
高衙内一愣,茫然道:“你们这是作甚?”
洪天九道:“哥哥,这事是你自己干的,我刚才已经提醒你了。”
“是吗?”
“嗯。”
众人齐齐点头。
高衙内老脸一红,咬着牙怒瞧了李奇一眼,好似在说,都是你惹出来的呃。
李奇哈哈一笑,道:“这不管我的事吧。好了,好了,蛐蛐有甚好玩的,我带你们去一个更好玩的地方。”
洪天九兴趣来了,道:“啥地方?”
“相国寺。”
周华忽然道:“我想起来了,今曰好像是那啥第一厨娘之争,我爹爹也会去。”
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