十七、先天之疾
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十七、先天之疾
五月十九日傍晚，陈操之一行四人终于在余暨县赶上了支愍度大师与谢玄，谢氏仆役将一家小客栈包下，洒扫后请度公和遏郎君入住，陈操之赶到时，谢玄刚陪支愍度用过斋饭。更多小说ltxs520.com
此时的谢玄，也不敷粉了，但身上的一品沉香味依旧，长身玉立，瘦削挺拔，两眉斜挑，英气逼人，见到陈操之，喜道：“子重兄赶到了。”便引陈操之去见支愍度大师，行者灵佑已叩见度公，将去陈家坞请到陈操之去东山谢氏别墅之事一一说了。
陈操之拜见支愍度大师，感谢大师远道来为母亲治病。
两盏油灯光影晕黄，清癯苍老的高僧支愍度盘腿趺坐在灯影里，目光慈和，注视着陈操之，道：“陈檀越尚未用饭吧，请先去用饭，然后老衲再与陈檀越叙话。”
陈操之便去用了斋饭，匆匆沐浴后散发披襟来见支愍度，支愍度依旧在灯影里坐定，似乎一动不曾动。
陈操之在谢玄身边坐下，老僧支愍度开口道：“陈檀越，此有故彼有，此无故彼无，十二因缘，众生枷锁，何由得脱？”
陈操之道：“母氏劬劳，忧心难释。”
支愍度微微一笑：“陈檀越是性情中人，却不知如何得悟‘真如’？”
陈操之道：“世人终日口念般若，不识自性般若，犹如说食不饱，口但说空，万劫不得见性，终无有益。”
支愍度头颅微耸，合什念佛，连称：“善哉！善哉！”乃问：“何谓自性般若？”
陈操之道：“只在目前。”
支愍度问：“既在目前，老衲何以不见？”
陈操之道：“大师有我故，所以不见。”
支愍度陷入沉思，这是后世禅宗大师的语录问答，对于从未接触过《坛经》“真如”理论和《金刚经》“我执、我相、无我执、无我相”理论的老僧支愍度来说，仿佛醍醐灌顶，雪白长眉抖抖瑟瑟，说道：“无汝无我，能见道否？”
陈操之道：“无汝无我，阿谁见道？”
老僧支愍度有些糊涂了，既要“无我”才能见自性般若，可陈操之又说若是连“我”都没有了还以什么来见自性般若呢？看来这个“无我”并非真的“无我”，而是要放下我所执著的东西——
老僧支愍度笑道：“看来陈檀越也是放不下的。”
陈操之道：“是，有劳大师了。”
支愍度道：“陈檀越对老衲启发多矣，甚好，陈檀越回房休息去吧，明日一早赶路。”
陈操之与谢玄退出支愍度大师的客房，见月色甚好，谢玄道：“子重兄，你我且到后院漫步如何？”
陈操之便随谢玄到客栈后院，后院有几株榆钱树，一串串金黄色的榆钱垂挂着，有微带苦涩的清香。
谢玄先问了陈母李氏的病情，宽慰了陈操之几句，然后问：“子重兄在东山别墅见到了哪些人？”
陈操之道：“匆匆拜见了安石公，后在曹娥亭见到了英台兄。”
谢玄霍然转头，盯着陈操之，徐徐问：“你还是以英台兄相称呼吗？”
陈操之道：“是，还是觉得称呼英台兄更合适，令姊也这么认为。”
谢玄笑了起来，问：“子重兄何时识破家姊身份的？家姊说到过陈家坞，这事只有我知道，三叔父那里是不敢让知道的。”
陈操之道：“是到了东山别墅才知道的，别墅典计说度公由遏郎君陪同前往钱唐了，我虽寡闻，岂有不知遏郎君是谁，这才恍然大悟。”
谢玄笑道：“原来是被那典计道破的，哈哈，家姊妆扮男子，言行毕肖，在吴郡三月，无人知其是女子，若不是这次令堂之病，子重兄恐怕也不会知道她是女子吧。”
陈操之微笑不语。
谢玄问：“子重兄在东山见到王凝之、王徽之兄弟否？”
陈操之道：“匆匆来去，未由得见。”
谢玄目视陈操之，说道：“王氏兄弟此番是来向我阿姊求婚的，两兄弟任由我阿姊挑选——”
陈操之淡淡道：“王氏兄弟皆负盛名，二选一也很难挑选啊。”
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