第354章 好一个海盗
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“陛下,在陛下面前,外臣是小国之臣,可是这个甚么山后国,却不应该欺压在我龘日本国之上。龙腾小说ltxs520.com外臣岛津光夫的个人荣辱是算不了甚么的,然而……事关我龘日本国体,若让外臣屈居于山后国使节之下,外臣不敢受命。”
“呃……”
朱允炆也有点后悔,怎么一高兴就忘了他们之间争名斗气的事了?可事已至此,他也没有别的办法可想,只好硬着头皮道:“岛津使者,山后国使节是该国的王子,所以……”
岛津光夫把眼一瞪,嗔目喝道:“陛下,山后小国,闻所未闻。就算是琉球岛上的山南、山北、中山三国,也不过是弹丸之地,不值得放在眼里的,何况是这个甚么山后小国。该国的国王,在我们日本,还不及征夷大将军麾下一个小吏,陛下若让他上座,岂不是羞辱我们么?”
何天阳谨遵夏浔的吩咐,有一说一,有二说二,不该说的不说,不该做的不做,本来一直老实本份地站在那儿,等着人家请他入座。说实话,他还没吃过宫廷御宴呢,看着满桌盛宴还真有点馋。谁坐前谁坐后,他并不在乎,可是岛津光夫夸夸其谈,他一直默不作声,那些大明官员看着他,眼神已微微lu出轻蔑之意,他可就有点受不了啦。
尤其是岛津那小矮子越说越慷慨ji昂,后来竟蹿到他的面前,仰着头,指着他的鼻子叽哩呱啦地一通讲,唾沫星子都溅到了他的脸上,何天阳真的火了,那股海盗的剽悍劲儿上来,登时把夏浔的嘱咐抛到了爪哇国去。
“嚷什么呀,你嚷什么呀?”
何天阳瞪起眼,瞅着眼前的这个日本国使:“你瞅瞅你那眉毛,那是眉毛吗?眼睛上边画两个点,我还以为是眼屎没擦掉呢。你看看你那脸涂的,还有你那一口牙,本来就不齐,难看的要命,染黑了装看不见是吧,你说你这样的坐在前边,你让大明皇帝陛下看了还有胃口吃饭吗?”
朱允炆脸憋的通红,可他不能笑,绝对不能笑,他手下的大臣……也都在忍笑。
要说起拌嘴损人,何天阳可不打怵,再说他纵横东海,日本和琉球都去过,对那里的人都比较熟悉,平时偶尔谈起这些异域他国的风俗习惯、穿着打扮,双屿岛的人打趣说笑,曾有许多调侃的话,现在都被他给利用上了。
“你大胆,我……”
“我什么我,口口声声我龘日本国,我龘日本国,你日本国怎么了?皇帝陛下、各位大明的官员阁下,你们知道他们日本国的fu人都梳什么发型吗?是椎茸头,知道什么叫椎茸么?椎茸就是香菇。本来是只有贵fu和女官才能梳的,可现在许多民间女子也在效仿。请皇帝陛下和各位大臣足下想像一下,街坊间,一堆香菇招摇过市……”
“噗哧!”
黄真没绷住,一下子笑出了声,他赶紧往后一蹿,躲到了孟shi郎身后去。
“岂有此……”
何天阳把腰一掐:“什么七有八有的!皇帝陛下,曾经有海盗劫了他们日本国的商船,到我们琉球来贩卖,小臣当时看了就奇怪,哎哟,这是什么盔甲呀,怎么都是小孩子穿的呀,这不是唬弄人么,今天见着这位日本特使,小臣才知道,敢情那海盗没唬人呐,可不就得做小孩子衣服么,做大了穿不了啊。”
明国众大臣忍不住了,不知谁躲在后边,吃吃地笑了起来,这一笑,便引得许多人开始发笑,只有朱允炆不能笑,强忍着,快要忍出内伤来了。
岛津光夫勃然大怒,气喘吁吁地道:“你这个……小小的……小国的王子,竟敢对我龘日本国使者如此无礼,我……我……”
何天阳得理不饶人:“你什么你,本王子说错了吗?我是蛮夷之邦,你也是蛮夷之邦,你比我高贵到哪儿去了?我们国家的贵人,喜欢学习中土上国,中土上国的贵人坐轿,我们那儿也是坐轿,你们日本国那儿没区别吧?不也学着中土上国坐轿子吗?可你倒是学得像一点儿呀。
皇帝陛下,各位大人,你们知道他日本国的轿子是啥模样,有多么大吗?就一口窗都没有的黑匣子,拉开门儿钻进去,一根杠子两头一抬,哎哟,那个小呀,跟鸡笼子差不多,小臣从福州上岸,一路往京师里来,沿途中看见贵国乡下大丫头出嫁,坐的hua轿都没这么难看!”
“哈哈哈哈……”
吃吃的低笑声变成了哄堂大笑,其实大臣们很想给日本使节一点面子,可是这位琉球王子损人实在是……,他们想不笑都不成。朱允炆也忍不住了,只好把失笑很快地转成温和善意的微笑,劝和道:“二位贵使,都不要吵了,朕……”
岛津光夫气得脸se煞白,愤愤地道:“陛下,非是外臣不遵皇命,实是这小邦蛮王不知礼仪,外臣是来朝觐陛下的,他这般羞辱外臣,那也是对陛下不敬,陛下应该治他的死罪!”
“姓岛的,你可别胡说!”
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