第354章 好一个海盗
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“陛下，在陛下面前，外臣是小国之臣，可是这个甚么山后国，却不应该欺压在我龘日本国之上。龙腾小说ltxs520.com外臣岛津光夫的个人荣辱是算不了甚么的，然而……事关我龘日本国体，若让外臣屈居于山后国使节之下，外臣不敢受命。”
“呃……”
朱允炆也有点后悔，怎么一高兴就忘了他们之间争名斗气的事了？可事已至此，他也没有别的办法可想，只好硬着头皮道：“岛津使者，山后国使节是该国的王子，所以……”
岛津光夫把眼一瞪，嗔目喝道：“陛下，山后小国，闻所未闻。就算是琉球岛上的山南、山北、中山三国，也不过是弹丸之地，不值得放在眼里的，何况是这个甚么山后小国。该国的国王，在我们日本，还不及征夷大将军麾下一个小吏，陛下若让他上座，岂不是羞辱我们么？”
何天阳谨遵夏浔的吩咐，有一说一，有二说二，不该说的不说，不该做的不做，本来一直老实本份地站在那儿，等着人家请他入座。说实话，他还没吃过宫廷御宴呢，看着满桌盛宴还真有点馋。谁坐前谁坐后，他并不在乎，可是岛津光夫夸夸其谈，他一直默不作声，那些大明官员看着他，眼神已微微lu出轻蔑之意，他可就有点受不了啦。
尤其是岛津那小矮子越说越慷慨ji昂，后来竟蹿到他的面前，仰着头，指着他的鼻子叽哩呱啦地一通讲，唾沫星子都溅到了他的脸上，何天阳真的火了，那股海盗的剽悍劲儿上来，登时把夏浔的嘱咐抛到了爪哇国去。
“嚷什么呀，你嚷什么呀？”
何天阳瞪起眼，瞅着眼前的这个日本国使：“你瞅瞅你那眉毛，那是眉毛吗？眼睛上边画两个点，我还以为是眼屎没擦掉呢。你看看你那脸涂的，还有你那一口牙，本来就不齐，难看的要命，染黑了装看不见是吧，你说你这样的坐在前边，你让大明皇帝陛下看了还有胃口吃饭吗？”
朱允炆脸憋的通红，可他不能笑，绝对不能笑，他手下的大臣……也都在忍笑。
要说起拌嘴损人，何天阳可不打怵，再说他纵横东海，日本和琉球都去过，对那里的人都比较熟悉，平时偶尔谈起这些异域他国的风俗习惯、穿着打扮，双屿岛的人打趣说笑，曾有许多调侃的话，现在都被他给利用上了。
“你大胆，我……”
“我什么我，口口声声我龘日本国，我龘日本国，你日本国怎么了？皇帝陛下、各位大明的官员阁下，你们知道他们日本国的fu人都梳什么发型吗？是椎茸头，知道什么叫椎茸么？椎茸就是香菇。本来是只有贵fu和女官才能梳的，可现在许多民间女子也在效仿。请皇帝陛下和各位大臣足下想像一下，街坊间，一堆香菇招摇过市……”
“噗哧！”
黄真没绷住，一下子笑出了声，他赶紧往后一蹿，躲到了孟shi郎身后去。
“岂有此……”
何天阳把腰一掐：“什么七有八有的！皇帝陛下，曾经有海盗劫了他们日本国的商船，到我们琉球来贩卖，小臣当时看了就奇怪，哎哟，这是什么盔甲呀，怎么都是小孩子穿的呀，这不是唬弄人么，今天见着这位日本特使，小臣才知道，敢情那海盗没唬人呐，可不就得做小孩子衣服么，做大了穿不了啊。”
明国众大臣忍不住了，不知谁躲在后边，吃吃地笑了起来，这一笑，便引得许多人开始发笑，只有朱允炆不能笑，强忍着，快要忍出内伤来了。
岛津光夫勃然大怒，气喘吁吁地道：“你这个……小小的……小国的王子，竟敢对我龘日本国使者如此无礼，我……我……”
何天阳得理不饶人：“你什么你，本王子说错了吗？我是蛮夷之邦，你也是蛮夷之邦，你比我高贵到哪儿去了？我们国家的贵人，喜欢学习中土上国，中土上国的贵人坐轿，我们那儿也是坐轿，你们日本国那儿没区别吧？不也学着中土上国坐轿子吗？可你倒是学得像一点儿呀。
皇帝陛下，各位大人，你们知道他日本国的轿子是啥模样，有多么大吗？就一口窗都没有的黑匣子，拉开门儿钻进去，一根杠子两头一抬，哎哟，那个小呀，跟鸡笼子差不多，小臣从福州上岸，一路往京师里来，沿途中看见贵国乡下大丫头出嫁，坐的hua轿都没这么难看！”
“哈哈哈哈……”
吃吃的低笑声变成了哄堂大笑，其实大臣们很想给日本使节一点面子，可是这位琉球王子损人实在是……，他们想不笑都不成。朱允炆也忍不住了，只好把失笑很快地转成温和善意的微笑，劝和道：“二位贵使，都不要吵了，朕……”
岛津光夫气得脸se煞白，愤愤地道：“陛下，非是外臣不遵皇命，实是这小邦蛮王不知礼仪，外臣是来朝觐陛下的，他这般羞辱外臣，那也是对陛下不敬，陛下应该治他的死罪！”
“姓岛的，你可别胡说！”
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