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第56章 灭顶之灾!(稍作修改,重新看下吧!)

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他染了一头绿毛,好像戴了一顶绿帽子。

他的脸型很奇怪,有点本山的鞋拔子脸,也有点像陈为民的月牙脸,反正下巴长得比鼻子高,对了,有点像传说中朱元璋的脸。

他的眉毛耷拉着,平添了几分倒霉样。

他的眼睛意外地有双眼皮,双眼皮的宽度比眼睛的宽度还长。

他的眼睛瞳仁非常小,显得眼睛全都是眼白,不论他怎么看人,都像是翻白眼,给人一种随时会翻白眼咽气的感觉。

他的鼻子也很特别,鹰钩鼻长反了,鼻孔朝天,基本一下雨就能灌一鼻孔的水,不过他的鼻毛特别浓密,完全把鼻孔堵住了,说话起来瓮声瓮气的,就像白眉大侠里那个被砍掉鼻子的房书安。

他的嘴巴也长得很有特点,像是嘴上挂了两片香肠,让人不禁想起了《唐伯虎点秋香》里面的石榴姐和《东成西就》里面的中毒后的欧阳锋。

看他神经兮兮的样子,魏延不想难为他,淡淡一笑:“不好意思,我有家传刀法,这十几年一直用的都是刀,不会戟法,你的龙虎方天戟自己拿去玩吧!”

那个怪物仰着它的大鼻孔,举起那根木棍,冲魏延喊道:“魏延,用你妈妈刀,杀币,渣渣,用画戟啊,用我的龙虎方天戟啊!保你能杀吕布!”

魏延摇摇头:“我再说一遍,不论什么时候,我都是用刀的,用的是长刀,我只会刀法,不会用戟,你别乱喷了,行不行!”

言下之意,不论是那一世,还是这一世,都是用刀的,不是用方天戟。

那个怪物指着魏延,肆意狂骂道:“魏延!用你妈妈刀!杀币!渣渣!用戟啊!用我的龙虎方天戟啊!”

魏延无语了,怎么会遇到这种极品,跟它说人话,怎么说不通呢!

他摆摆手,示意士卒将这个怪物赶走!

“敢辱我主公者死!”傅彤早已忍受不住,挺枪跃马,一枪刺中那个怪物的鼻孔,枪头过脑。

与此同时,李严也按捺不住愤怒,大吼一声:“辱我主公,死!”

他飞起一刀,将那怪物的绿毛头砍掉。

一大群将士早已将魏延视为他们的神,实在无法忍受不住这个怪物辱骂主公,冲上前,乱刀砍向那个怪物。

当魏延命令大家停手时,那个怪物已经被砍成肉泥!

魏延愕然,摇摇头,苦笑道:“你们为什么要跟一个智障过不去呢!”

……

经过刚才的闹剧,魏延发现,自己在军队中的威望还是不错的,再接再厉吧。

随后,魏延把胡车儿丢到一辆马车上,命人把他身上的绳索再加固几道,再派二十个士卒日夜看顾,告诉这些士卒,只要发现胡车儿有逃跑的迹象,就直接砍他的四肢,特别是他的腿!

除此之外,每天都给他吃小半饱,饿不死他,却也让他无力逃走。

毕竟胡车儿那家伙有着日行七百里的腿力,一旦被他逃脱,可能一天一夜时间,这家伙就跑回张绣那里了,到时候,魏延这边没有人质,张绣统率数万西凉大军兵临义阳,那将是魏延的灭顶之灾!

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