第75节:三、蓝毛衣&我前妻(5)
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
我前妻听我报告时,常常忽然用手遮住嘴,额头上暴起青筋——那就是她憋不住笑了。龙腾小说网ltxs520.com报告完了,她押我去砸碱。到了地方,我挥起十字镐来。我喜欢砸碱。砸着砸着,忽然她厉声喝道:够了,省点劲别人来时再用。开了镣,陪我走走。我就打开脚镣陪她溜达,走到一个土丘上,只听她长叹一声:天苍苍野茫茫呀!我连忙答道:是!管教!她嗔怪地说:老大哥!现在边上没人吗!我低下头去,过一会才说:报告管教,我脑子里只有一根筋,你最好别把我搞糊涂。她伸出小手来,拍拍我的脸,说道:我是不是对你太狠了?你是不是记恨了?这一瞬间我身体都有了反应——换言之,这时不用她对那东西悄声细语,也能干成。我心里觉得有些委屈,想和她说说话——比方说,我原是个很有前途的艺术家,名字都上了若干艺术殿堂的收藏名录,怎么搞到了这个样子,靠女人庇护,等等;但是没等我开始说,她就转过脸去,说道:天苍苍野茫茫呀,王犯,你有何看法?我只好答道:是,管教!如果能风吹草低见牛羊就好了。她说:王犯,牛羊能让你想起什么?我就答道:诗曰,马牛其风,管教。她说:大天白日的,咱们俩总不好真像牛羊一样吧。我就答道:报告管教,我看见那边有辆废矿车。她说:很好,王犯,你很能领会领导意图。咱们就到那里去。开步走,一二一!一二一!我很爱我前妻,但是始终没有爱成。她也很爱我,但也没爱成。我们俩之间始终有堵墙。
把时光推到我初做技术工作时,我三十刚出头,英俊潇洒。那时候我前妻就看上了我,但是我却看不上她。说实在的,我谁也看不上,心里想的只是我是个艺术家。那个时候搞技术的艺术家很少,别人都是些退休返聘的老家伙,我在女实习生那里极红,所以狂妄之极,朝秦暮楚,害得她几乎自杀。这种事当然应该遭到报应,所以她就押我去砸碱。等到我报应遭够了,她要和我认真谈谈时,我已经改不过口了——”是,管教!”假如你有个丈夫是这样的,也会觉得离婚较好。另外一方面,虽然我前妻的身体很美丽,但是和她干的感觉还没有和老左好,所以我也想离婚。这件事总的来说是命里注定。有一件事也是命里注定:我这一辈子谁也不佩服,包括毕加索(艺术家都不肯佩服别人),只佩服我们部长(工程师必须佩服比自己强的人)。这家伙简直什么都会,声光电热、有机无机高分子,加上全部数学,虽然他是个混蛋。等我砸碱归来时,他的样子很悲惨,得了溃疡病,只有九十多斤。这是因为他的事业全都失败了,大规模集成电路厂成品率为零,化工厂天天爆炸,电厂一送电就会电死人。一切和我预料的一样,他的高技术路线不符合国情。所以他找我谈话:老大哥,以前是我的错,咱们合作吧——重新来过!但是我却向他报告说,要大便。当然,我也可以报告说,可以,咱们合作。以他的能力,加我的经验,事情会有改观,但我觉得不到火候。结果是他顶不住,傻掉了,现在胃病好了,变成了个大胖子。我却成了技术部的实际负责人,顶他的差事,这种事就叫命里注定。刚出碱场时,我是一条黑大汉(窝窝头养人),现在瘦得很,也得了溃疡病,一天到晚盼着傻掉。现在的问题是,没有我前妻的指导,想傻也傻不掉。
5
我前妻说过,想要有前途,就得表现好。”表现好”这句话我是懂的,就是要坦白交待。头上的伤刚刚不疼,我就把她约到家里来,开始坦白。从写条子的事开始,蓝毛衣给我写的条子是中文,内容挺下流,用了一个”玩”字,还用在了自己身上。然后又交待在小黑屋里的事:那孩子才是真有恋父情结,她说她喜欢老一点的,有胡子更好。口臭都不反对,只是要用胶纸把嘴粘上。但是绝不能是数盲。老、嘴臭的人有的是,但全是数盲。所以就不好找。我一时色迷心窍,说了些挑逗的话,什么自己比数盲强点有限,等等。她说她是想做爱,又不是想解数学题,只是要点气氛。我就说等出去好好聊聊,我搞过舞美,会做气氛等等。其实她要是真找上门,我还得躲出去,当时无非是胡扯八道,以度长夜罢了。
我坦白了之后,我前妻冷笑一声说:我以前说你浑身最坏的部分是嘴,现在知道错了。你最坏的部分是良心。我说:是,管教!她说,是什么呀你,是。人家小姑娘的话,你怎么能告诉我?我听了直发愣,觉得自己是坏了良心。她又说,你自己想想吧,为什么和我说这个。我说,是想让你帮助我。她瞪起眼来说,你真浑!我什么时候不帮你?一边骂一边哭。我赶紧找块干净手绢给她。等哭够了,她才说,可怜的家伙,你是真急了——要不然也不这样。你不是这样的。
我到底是怎样的,她根本就不知道。连我自己都不知道。除了不能发数盲症,我什么卑鄙的事都能干出来,因为我已经受够了。我讨厌爱,讨厌关怀,讨厌女人的幽默感。假如生活里还有别的,这些东西并不坏。但是只有这些,就真让人受不了。我不是工程师,我是艺术家。难道我生出来就是为了当一辈子的老大哥吗?
我现在在日记里坦白我的卑鄙思想,而这本日记除非我死了,她绝看不到。在表面上,我是个善良、坦白、责任心强的人。其实不是的,我很卑鄙。昨天晚上我前妻在我这里睡,等她睡了之后,我爬起来看她的裸体。她的裸体绝美,作为一个学美术的人,对女人的身体不会大惊小怪,我再说一遍,她的裸体绝美。她真正具有危险性。只要她睡着,我看到她的裸体,就会勃起,欲念丛生,但她永远看不到。我不相信有什么男人可以抵挡她的魅力,哪怕他是数盲。所以她一定能把我送出国去。我一定要让她做到这一点,而且我自己还不肯得数盲症。这是因为我恨透了她——她把我撇下,去嫁了个数盲——但是恨透了首先是因为我爱她爱得要死。这一点她也永远休想知道。
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