第38节：得到与失去(2)
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婚后的第二年，父亲患了咽喉癌，他不知从哪里弄来一个秘方，找来一个大水缸，里面养了几百只的蟑螂。龙腾小说ltxs520.com每天他就从水缸中捉出几只蟑螂活吞，家人看了都觉得恶心，想劝劝他还是让医生来治疗，不要再吃蟑螂了，可是他却坚持要”以毒攻毒”。在他过世之前，父亲整整吃了半年的蟑螂。
我常觉得父亲的一生充满了传奇，若是我的故事值得写书，那他的生平故事可以拍成一部长长的连续剧。
父亲在十九岁瞎了眼睛，他双目瞳孔凹陷，不见黑眼珠，只看得到一片白眼球，但他从未戴过墨镜，也从不曾试图要掩饰他是瞎子的事实。他眼瞎，但心不瞎；身残，但心不残。他这一生成天以月琴、二胡为伴，行乞大半辈子，四处唱着劝世的歌谣。父亲一脑子都是药石，流浪到哪就为人免费医疗到哪，但他大概怎么也想不到，自己这样精湛的医术，到了最后，他的偏方却没能救得了自己。
那天，我从公司接到阿霞的电话，阿霞说，爸爸大概不行了，要我快快回家。虽然爸爸的咽喉癌早不是一日两日，而我们也都有心理准备，但是听到阿霞这么说，我仍是犹如青天霹雳！
病榻前，父亲用尽最后一丝力气，只说了一句”好好照顾妈妈和弟弟”，这毕竟是他临终前最放心不下的两个人，就此再也没有睁开眼睛。我紧抱着父亲大声痛哭，过往的种种不断在眼前浮现，他曾经那样无情地责打我、鞭策我，而我也曾气过他、恨过他，但是在这最后一刻，我却发现自己是如此如此地尊敬他、爱他、依恋他。是的，我的父亲是一个瞎子、是一个乞丐，但他却永远是我心中的那一座屹立不摇的巨山，是我最初也是最终仰望的方向。这一辈子我掉过许多眼泪，却都没有这一时间的痛不欲生，我抱着他哭嚎，直到他的身体渐渐失去温度。
父亲生前最服膺的一句话便是：来也空空，去也空空。这人生中的诸多打击，让他体悟到面对无常的人事，唯有好好珍惜把握眼前的一切，知足、惜福、感恩，那些物质的一切便让它随风飘逝吧。
的确，父亲去世后，家里穷得连买棺材办丧事的钱都凑不足。我只有委屈丽霞，让她将结婚时的金饰嫁妆卖了，再加上乌日乡九德村一些曾受过他医治的人士慷慨解囊，这才为他办妥了丧事。
这一年，我刚满二十七岁。就在这短短的两年间，我尝到了婚姻的喜悦，也历经了丧父之痛。得到与失去、快乐与悲伤，竟在一时间距离我如此之近，父亲常喟叹的”人生无常”，我在年幼时便已尝得，但却从未像此刻叫我心惊。
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