章五十五 我能怎么办，我也很绝望啊
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不然刘邦怎么斩它？
“字！”
黑夜里，忽然响起色厉内荏的声音。
李扶摇愣了下。
四望却不见人，有些莫名其妙。
又听得声音道：“愚蠢的凡人，你竟然敢冒犯神之子，你知道我是谁么，我乃白帝之子，还不快放开我！”
白帝之子？
李扶也间懵逼，卧槽，真是白帝之子？
历史神话是真的？
旋即猛然醒悟，白帝你妹，世间怎么可能有神仙？
忍不住大笑，松开了手，看着那条艰难抬起头的蟒蛇，“竟然还真有人点背啊，成了这条注定要被刘邦斩成两段的白蛇！”
说人话的不是那条蛇是谁！
那条蛇也懵逼了，“你怎么知道刘邦？又怎么会知道他一定会斩掉我？”
李扶摇哈哈大笑，“我不仅知道刘邦要斩你，而且我还知道，你是个穿越者，我就奇了怪了，别人穿越到历史中来，要么是当天子王侯，要么是当绝世美女，怎的你却成了一条蛇，你就不怕许仙把你肛了？”
那蛇有些呆滞，许久才反应过来，“你也是穿越者？”
李扶姚不可抑，“差不多罢，不过我是政府派过来收拾你们这些穿越者的，说直白点，我就是来维修历史的，比如你穿越成了这条白蛇，想要逃离芒砀山，这样刘邦很可能杀不了你，没准会影响西汉开国，所以我就来将你带回去，明白了么？”
又忍不爪道：“你真的会穿越成一条蛇？你在想什么？”
那蛇口瞪目呆，良久才崩溃的呐喊道：“我能怎么办啊，我也很绝望啊，我本来是想穿越过来成为卢绾取代刘邦得西汉天下的啊，那样就能坐拥江山后宫佳丽三千夜夜温柔乡啊，哪里知道成了这条白蛇啊，特么的也没人告诉我穿越会变成一条蛇啊。”
“特么的谁能告诉我，别的穿越者都天子王侯吃香喝辣，美女环绕，我特么的穿越过来就在这该死的沼泽里，到处都阴暗潮湿，而且还是条没有前途看不见未来的蛇啊！”
“你知道作为一条蛇有多凄凉吗，天天都在潮湿的沼泽里，为了活下去，还要恶心的吞食各种老鼠爬虫，更恶心的是，这条蛇是母的啊，老子还被另外一条更强大的大蟒蛇给肛了啊你知道那种生死不如的感觉吗老子竟然被一条蛇给了”
李扶摇忍不住不厚道的笑了。
“没人想过我的感受啊，你知道我有多绝望吗？”
“早知道我穿越个毛啊，在后世我好歹也是个小厨师啊，偶尔也能去勾搭下良家少妇啥的啊，现在弄得人不人鬼不鬼，今夜才现这里是芒砀山，自己就是要被刘邦斩掉的那条白蛇啊。”
“我想哭可是哭不出啊”
“”
李扶益心无语，笑得很腹黑，“得了，这都是命。”
白蛇仰起头，“你能不能放我一马，你看我成了一条蛇，已经无法对历史造成任何影响了。”
李扶曳，“没了你刘邦怎么斩蛇起义？”
白蛇倒是聪敏，“你可以找一条蛇替代我啊，比如那条肛了我的大蛇？”
“何必那么麻烦，况且我还是担心，一条有人类意识的蛇，万一修行千年装神弄鬼跑到皇族里去惑乱历史，我还得再花费时间和精力来收拾你，认命罢。”
李扶摇上前。
那白蛇吓得直退，“你别逼我！”
李扶屹住，“逼你又怎样了？穿越之前你就该想过，天上不会掉馅饼，既然你疡了这条路，就用接受你的结局。”
“我等下就告诉刘邦你也是穿越者”
这货有些没底气。
毕竟穿越到历史中来是偷偷的，大概属于违法行为，看见李扶彝像械看见了警察。
李扶摇眯缝起眼睛，“你没有机会的。”
说完以迅雷不及掩耳之势，趁着白蛇方才被自己揍得七晕八素，扑过去按住蛇头就是一阵海扁——得彻底把这货打晕过去。
免得真被他搅了局。
打蛇打七寸。
但李扶摇并不想直接杀了它，要杀它也是刘邦的事情。
而且蟒蛇的七寸不好找。
于是盯着脑袋一顿猛揍——反正你的大脑中枢受到重击，就算不是七寸，也够吃一壶了。
于是白蛇愉快的晕了过去。
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