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第4节

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其实抛开它本来的只能不谈,卫生巾仍旧具有诸多功效。

首先,它具有创可贴无法比拟的止血功能。

安吉丽娜朱莉在《salt》里用卫生巾包裹伤口的时候,性感极了。

鞋垫、卸妆棉、乳托……

这些功能它都可以完成……

好了,不胡扯了……

男士内裤和女士内裤放在一起洗,不会让3个姑娘怀孕吧?

我突然幻想到一副可怕的场景:

三位姑娘大着肚子来到我的婚礼现场,指着我大喊,负——心——人——

冷汗涔涔而下……

马桶篇——

刚才说完了洗衣机,我觉得我特别有必要说说马桶。

你们一定听说过明珠投暗这个成语。

洁白的马桶在我住进来之前,基本上不能察其言,观其色。

我搬进来的的第一天,就被这个脏的难以置信的马桶震惊了。

原来女生宿舍的马桶也这么不堪啊。

马桶旁边默默站着一个收纳手纸的废纸篓。

我几乎可以体会到这位废纸篓兄台的悲哀。

作为一个每月内要承载三位姑娘大姨妈副产品的纸篓,它的压力是有多大……

毫无疑问,每个月至少有三次,厕所都像极了可怕的犯罪现场。

我每次进去的时候,都需要默念一句话才能让自己冷静——

真正的勇士,敢于直面淋漓的鲜血。

我戴着防毒面具,全副武装,准备花1个小时清理马桶上的各种污渍。

在这个住满了三位姑娘的公寓里,我决定,首先征服这个马桶。

我倒了整整一瓶84消毒液在马桶里,然后安静地看着它溶解马桶内壁上的坏东西。

这个时候,狐狸突然冲进来。

狐狸面露疼色,低声说,对不起小正太,我肚子疼,你先出去一下。

可是……

可是什么……赶紧出去,不然姐直接开始了……

可是我……

滚!

我非常无辜的走出来,随即狐狸发出一声长啸,当然不是用嘴了。

然后,我承认,即使是美女的粑粑,味道也不那么令人愉快的……

从这种不愉快的气味里,我甚至可以断定狐狸今天的晚饭一定是川菜。

而且一定有水煮鱼片。

那股经过食道、胃、十二指肠、直肠、敏感词之后,独特的辣味,徘徊在房间里,久久不肯散去……

半个小时候,狐狸终于出来了。

她看着我,脸上带着歉意,尴尬地笑,说,对不起啊,同事聚餐,吃多了……你现在可以进去了……

我没有说话,等着气味差不多散光了时候,我踏进厕所。

马桶里的84消毒液已经没有了。

可是马桶里却多了一样东西。

微小的……

很萌的……

很q的……

淡黄色的……

你看着它,就能断定,狐狸的局部是有多么紧致和饱满……

二十分钟后……

马桶,终于干净了,我也累得腰背酸疼。

然后,我大义凛然地对着马桶,掏,撒,抖三抖。

不得不承认,在一个全是女人使用的厕所里,站着撒尿,确实有种奇怪的优越感。

感谢上帝,让我们站着撒尿。

日期:2012-02-0323:03:36

下辈子,做你的床单

其实这段时间我特别低落。

[记住网址龙腾小说ltxs520.com]

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