第30节
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
这个女孩……还在bleeding……
这是需要一篇毕业论文才能解释清楚的误会吧?
我该去恨谁呀?
tmd我只能去很美呆早不来晚不来的大姨妈了啊。
再者说,美呆,大姨妈来了你怎么能去洗澡呢?
客厅里,只剩下我一个人。
我突然侥幸地想,哎?这不会是一场梦吧?
我拍了自己一巴掌,疼,这个夜晚……不是梦……
日期:2012-02-0722:22:45
第二天,我心事重重地去上班。
因为起得早,经过狐狸房门的时候都觉得脚下虚无。
好像那个晚上我真的对美呆做了什么一样。
还有什么比这种事更加冤枉的么?
明明你没有上这个姑娘,可是你的女朋友却认为你上了这个姑娘。
也就是说,你做了一件你女朋友认为你已经做过的、而实际上你并没有做过的事情。
我被这里面的逻辑弄晕了。
如果按照这个逻辑继续发展的话,我应该把美呆推倒。
而且即便我推倒美呆也不会有严重后果。
因为在正牌女友狐狸眼中,我是在做一件,我已经做过的事情……
好吧,我确实胡思乱想了。
上班的时候,我开始分析狐狸的性格。
哄女孩子这种事完全是技术活。
很多人13岁就明白为什么女孩身上没有小鸡鸡。
也有很多人对程序啊游戏啊了如指掌。
但是——
作为一个男人,最重要的技能,并不是以上这些。
而是——
如何快速有效地哄女朋友。
(详情请参见即将在2012年12月出版的《如何快速有效地哄女朋友》一书,目前仅完成11个字)。
对于狐狸这样的女孩,你摆低姿态哄她,其实并没有效果。
你不停地认错,只会让她觉得你确实犯了这样的错误。
根据狐狸的性格,我权衡再三,最后得出结论,对敌策略,归根结底只有八个字:
置之不理,突然袭击。
置之不理,首先冷却狐狸的怒火。刚吵架就去哄女朋友是最不明智的,这样甚至会让矛盾升级。就是说,在女朋友发怒的时候,马上认错如同抱薪救火。《六国论》里怎么说的?“且夫以地事秦,譬犹抱薪救火,薪不尽,火不灭。”古人的外交智慧我们要活学活用啊。
所以,必须要冷遇之。
经过几天的冷却之后,密谋,合计,突然发动温柔攻势,具体方法因人而异。那么,大部分的女孩都会招架不住。
只要姿态做得好,只要节奏拿捏到位,那么姑娘对你敞开心扉张开双腿的日子,指日可待。
于是,我制定了详细的计划,以下简称为foxplan
以下是任务简易列表:
任务:消除误会,力争推倒。
时间:狐狸生日当夜
人物:我,狐狸,小王子,小狐狸
任务代号:fffffffffffffffffffff
日期:2012-02-0722:42:17
在此,有必要说明一下这个任务各项细节的合理性。
关于时间。
为什么要选在狐狸生日这天呢?
因为,狐狸生日马上就要到了。
还有,根据统计学数据分析和心理学人性分析,成年女性生日当夜失身率高大3800%
其实女人除了一种感受性之外,还有一个特别重要的特征——
那就是各种稀奇古怪的仪式感。
对,仪式感。
[记住网址龙腾小说ltxs520.com]
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