第三章 刘先生
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一见天黑，二人的心又提了起来，不晓得今晚那些东西还会不会来，但愿别来。可是有些事情往往都是事与愿违。你想不让它来它偏偏不肯放过你。到了后半夜一两点钟的时候，院子里那淅淅沥沥的哭声又传了出来。
听到这哭声后我爷爷和我奶奶的心里好像有一股劲儿，这是他俩的原话。就是说脑子里变得很乱，很闹心，很压抑，就想拿刀扎自己的脑袋出气。正当我奶奶迷迷糊糊的从抗稍拿起剪刀时，睡的正香的刘先生在被窝里翻了个身●是说醉话似的大喊了一声：“瞎吵吵啥啊！没看见我正睡觉呢么？？滚！！”
我爷爷和奶奶冷不丁的清醒了过来，你别说，这一嗓子还真挺好使，外面的哭声马上停了下来。奶奶马上把剪刀扔了，心里满是后怕。这时刘先生躺在被窝里还是用那种说梦话的语气自言自语的说：“吗的，叫的我这个闹心，把这玩意儿倒着贴北边儿窗户上。我让它叫唤，等明天收它。”说完从被窝里顺出了一张皱巴巴的纸后又呼呼大睡。
我爷爷从他手上接过来一看，是一张过年时贴的福字儿，我爷爷马上照做了，把那种福字儿贴到了北窗户上。贴过后果然一夜无事。
这里讲到的福字，为啥刘先生要往北窗户上贴福字儿，小时候我也不懂，等到我长大了以后偶然想起这个爷爷讲的这个故事的细节后查了下资料，原来据《梦粱录》记载：“士庶家不论大小，俱洒扫门闾，去尘秽，净庭户，换门神，挂钟馗，钉桃符，贴春牌，祭祀祖宗。”文中的“贴春牌”即是写在红纸上的“福”字。
福字现在的解释是幸福，而在过去则指福气、福运▲此福字，又与降伏的“伏”字谐音，其中就概括了降服秽物的含义。当然了，这也只是我自己的猜测，因为有很多以前的民间绝技如今早已失传，已经无处寻求其解释了。
第二天天刚蒙蒙亮，刘先生终于醒了。
我奶奶连忙给他打水洗脸，热菜热饭。刘先生穿好衣服下炕登上棉鞋后对着我爷爷一拱手，笑呵呵的说道：“老弟，让你看到哥哥我的醉态真是惭愧，有劳兄弟照顾了。”我爷爷赶紧说：“刘哥可千万别这么说啊，这我都够不好意思的了，你看没等你醒就把你整我家来了。”
刘先生又坐到了炕上，哈哈的笑道：“不妨事，其实我都听到了，粉莲（刘妻）这娘们儿让的。我之所以娶她就是因为这老娘们儿心眼儿好，唉○怪哥哥，因为那时候我确实没功夫醒。”
这时候饭弄好了，我奶奶在炕上放了个小桌，摆上了一盘花卷，一盆酸菜炖猪肉。盛着高粱酒的酒瓶坐在了一只倒满热水的大弘里温着。当她把这些东西都放好后那个俩早已经吃喝上了，我奶奶也盘腿上炕。正听到刘先生讲他为何醉成了这个样子。
原来刘先生在那天帮人家选坟地，弄得妥当了以后那家人请刘先生喝酒。刘先生喝了半斤酒后见天色已晚便告辞了，在往家走的路上碰到了先前的熟人老王头。可是这个老王头在前年就已经死了，好在刘先生就是干这行的，他很好奇。为什么本应该已经投胎的老王头会出现，便上前询问。原来这个老王头在生前做过不少好事，死后到阴间就当了一个鬼差。专门协助欧马面黑白无常钩人魂魄的。因为今日村子里有人出殡便跟了来，趁着无常钩魂的时候向马面请了半天的假，想回来看看儿子和小孙子【来鬼差勾魂就很难碰见，今天又遇到了旧相识。
按行规来说，吃阴间饭的人因为泄露太多天机，都是命犯五弊三缺。所谓五弊，不外乎“鳏、寡、孤、独、残。”而三缺说白了就是“钱，命，权”这三缺。刘先生知道自己犯的是命缺，但是刘先生不知道自己何时归位，因为这个世上只有真正精通《三清书》其中的奇门术和卜算术之人才能通过某种阵法来知晓天命▲刘先生只是学过家传的《三清卜算》和一些偶然得来的符咒之术。他怕要是事出突然自己和家人没有准备，于是就动了想从阴差口中知道自己阳寿的念头。
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