第一百六十五章 老潜水员的新坟
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听老易这么一说,我放心了,他大爷的,我说嘛,这世界上哪儿来的那么多高科技,一个成了气候的老人参也不过如此,其实这甄老太爷也挺冤枉的,如果他老人家泉下有知的话,知道自己的尸体竟然当了几年的潜水员,不知道会是什么表情,说起来还是要怪那家的老三,这其实也没什么好说的,引用一句民间俗语,那就是活该,再引用一句佛教术语,那就是报应。
那老三又种大烟又糟蹋小姑娘的,估计下辈子是没办法当人了,他运气如果好点儿,也连老谢和老范都见不到,直接让老牛和老马抓去下辈子当畜生,如果运气差点儿的话那就**了,得在地狱里滚个几遍油锅,享受几千年针灸按摩后才能重新做人。
想到这里,我和老易心里边又好受了一些,就像是那些磨磨唧唧的老电影一样,坏人都有了报应,邪恶都被正义战胜,西游记后传里的猴子有颈椎病,虽然我俩没能拿到僵尸血,但是这件事要是这样就能圆满解决的话,那也不错。
他大爷的,我边走心里边骂道:实在不行的话哥们儿我就去刨人祖坟,我就不相信有石决明这个gPs人肉定位在,连个腊肉都找不到!
不一会儿,那事先选好的墓地到了,昨天已经有人来弄的差不多了,杂草之类的都已经拔掉,而且土坑已经挖好,就差往里埋棺材了,来到了坑边,照例还要有阴阳先生主持下最后的仪式。
于是文叔便庄严的站在众人面前说道:“新居已到,良辰遇吉位,子孙得富贵,诸君辛苦,家属答谢!”
甄家的人便冲着那些帮工的集体鞠了一躬,然后文叔说:“答谢完毕,有请地卷!”说完后,林叔又走了出来,他边鄙视了一眼文叔,边从兜里摸出了另外一张地卷儿后,对着众人朗声的念道:
“天苍苍,地苍苍,太阳日日照山岗。前因南山采茶,北山采果,偶遇仙人赐酒三杯,南柯一梦。敬天为父,敬地为母,孝子思亲,无能投达答,今请地师林秋胜,寻点黄龙岗上大地一穴,坐落土名柞木岗山西北向,东至青龙甲乙木,西至白虎庚辛金,南至朱雀丙丁火,北至玄武壬癸水,中至中央戊己土,四至分明,用银九万九千九十贯,买到土主张坚固大地一穴,安葬甄俊波公。自葬之后,任凭亡者掌管,四边竹木为邻里,阳鸟投天光,荫出子孙皆聪俊,荣登科甲立朝堂。借问契书何人写,白鹤写了上天堂;借问契书何人读,龙王读了下长江。惟有强神来争占,九牛破土不留藏。”
不得不说,这地卷写的有水平儿,比起第一张起坟时的地卷儿,这新坟入土的地卷儿写的要华丽的许多,跟绕口令儿似的,看来这蓝道中人也要有点能拿的出手的东西才能唬人啊,但说林叔这朗读时声情并茂,要是给他副眼镜,没准就会有人把他想象成北大中文系的副教授呢。
念完了地卷后,林叔水手就把它给烧了,然后对我和老易说:“把刚才让你俩从那坟地里发出的土撒在这新坟里,快点儿,撒的时候不要向后看,否则不吉利。”
我俩照着做了,没想到这墓葬的讲究原来有这么多,连土都有讲究,在这里简单点儿跟大家介绍下吧,新坑扑旧土的道理,正规的作法是一定要把原来棺材底下的再往下深挖八寸后,用干净的袋子装好移到新的营墓中去,否则吉凶效果不大,带走的土不可让原土丢在路上被人踩,这样会对死者的晚辈有害,对不起死者,犹如死者在世时被路人脚踩刀割一样,故此重要。
在简单点儿来形容,那就是说老太爷搬新家住不习惯,一定要睡‘旧床’才踏实。但是刚才那坑里的土都快成稀泥了,我和老易也不好挖,只能是随便的抓了几块儿,然后用塑料袋儿带来了。
把那塑料袋儿泥巴倒进新坑后,我和老易便退了回来,文叔又亲自动手,对着众人表演了一番杂技,只见他站到了坑边,然后把一张黄纸平放在坑里,正好压住了那些泥巴,然后从对我招了招手,从我的背包中拿出了一个袋子,从袋子里倒出了一些粉末状的东西在那纸上。
别人不知道是什么,我却清楚的很,那便是掺了磷粉的松香沫,老神棍迅速的划着了一根火柴然后丢到了那黄纸之上,遇到了火,那些磷粉迅速的燃烧起来,一股松香迎面而来,而这时,老神棍从屁股兜里迅速的掏出了一枚铜钱,摆了一个魁星踢斗的造型,大喝一声:“去!”
然后那枚铜钱便不偏不倚的打在了那燃烧的黄纸之上,引得周围的围观群众又是几声喝彩。这其实也是有个说道的,俗称暖坑,以尽后辈之孝心,换取先辈辛寒抚养之恩,又为‘暖井’以使吉气来的快,旨在后人速发福。但是文叔这一举动纯属是脱裤子放屁,暖炕根本用不着点火,只要是个意思就行了。
文叔做完了这些花架子后,便让那些人小心的抬起了棺材,然后慢慢的安放在了土坑中,由子孙先填了第一捧土,众人便开始把棺材重新掩埋了起来,由于这次迁坟时间来的太仓促,所以只能简葬,就连定的墓碑都没有打好,所以只能是先用一块儿木板来代替,日后再风光的修坟吧。
做完这一切后,我们的面前就出现了一座新坟茔,而这时午时三刻还没到,算是挺顺利的迁完了坟。在甄家子孙磕头烧纸后,我们便转身下山了,我回头望了望那空地之上的新土包,心里想着:老天保佑,这位潜水多年的老运动员这次终于平安登陆了,希望它别再闹出什么事儿来了吧。
回到了甄家,甄家大摆筵席,请那些帮工的吃饭,好在甄老爷子糊涂了,不知道发生了什么事儿,还以为是乡亲们来看他了呢,把这老头儿高兴够呛。
我去上厕所的时候,偶然间发现了文叔正在和甄阿姨说话,他的意思是今早修坟,越早越好,过两天我们就要回去了。
我听到了这话后,心中又开始鄙视这老神棍,阴错阳差下让他蒙对了破解八曜煞的方法他还不知道,他可能现在还在顾忌那老潜水员也许会尸变呢,所以就想跑路了。
唉,人性啊,上哪儿说理去?我见老神棍这个样子,苦笑着摇了摇头,便走了,其实这两天我觉得挺不对劲儿的,包括文叔和甄家的关系,还有他有几次的一反常态,都让我摸不清头脑,就好像是隔了一张窗户纸一样,有时候我竟然有一种幻觉,那就是这老家伙其实是真有些本事的。
但是现在一看,他大爷的,骗子永远是骗子,永远也不能变成床垫子。我便没有在听下去,而是进了小树林,找了棵大树开始放水。
尿完了以后我往回走,这时山里开始起风了,我抬头望去,虽然还是很晴朗的天空,瓦蓝瓦蓝的,但是云彩移动似乎很快,可能这是要变天的前兆吧。
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