番外：鬼老二（1）
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十五岁的时候，乡下的一个姨奶奶去世了，隔着挺远，平时也不来往，但是毕竟沾亲带故，人去了，总得回去交个份子钱，然后办丧事的人家得摆十来桌席面，请来哀悼的亲朋好友吃两顿饭，中午一顿，晚上一顿；
期间会有专门走民间丧事的法师们来念经敲鼓，这些法师平时里也兼职着乐队，事实上，在那些年的农村里，每逢丧事，都像是在开一场草根乐队派对。最新地址ltxsba.xyz
法师们在念完经敲完鼓打完锣之后，吃了主人家准备的饭菜，下午的时候，来哀悼的亲友们总不能就这么傻愣愣地吃完午饭干等晚饭开席，必须得弄点节目出来。
这些法师们就脱下了袈裟或者是道袍，换上了便装，再随意地化个妆，大破音响开起来，CD曲子打起来，就开始了唱歌跳舞表演。
生活所迫，为了增加收入和自己团队的吸引力，大部分农村赶事儿的法师们都得会这一手，也不求你唱得多好，跳得多好，无非就是打发个无聊时间的乐子而已，那时候农村人也稀罕，谁家办丧事，哪怕和自己无亲无故主人家也没请自己，也会早早地吃过午饭就去那家人在田里搭得棚子那里候着等着看表演。
基本是那时流行什么就唱什么，记得有一段时间《常回家看看》在春晚演唱之后一下子就火了，所以经常听见办丧事的人家里会大喇叭唱这首歌，现在想想还真的有一种莫名地起鸡皮疙瘩的感觉。
当然，现在农村虽然还继续流行着办丧事请法师的活动，不过法师们的表演则是越来越少了，这也是现在农村人生活水平也欣赏水平提高了的原因，这些草台班子的表演自然也就偃旗息鼓了。
那次，我被我妈带着一起去吃席，我爹那时候在一家国营工厂当工人，我妈在一家国营纺织厂当工人，在我十七岁的时候，爹妈一起双双光荣下岗，俩人一起领回来了两个下岗证，红色的封面，看起来贼喜庆，我爹那时候还把这两个下岗证放在我从小学到初中所获得的奖状框框里，后来我妈实在看不下去和我爹吵了一架把这俩下岗证取下来了。
所以，当时家里的条件，也算不得多好，吃席的诱惑还是很大的，不过那天正好有点走背儿，早上醒来时发现腮部那里有点胀胀的感觉，等中午和我妈去了乡下那户亲戚家时，就彻底肿起来，疼得说话都说不利索了，然后一个年纪大的奶奶就说我这是“大耳佛”，要吃百家米。
“大耳佛”这是土话的说法，普通话的解释就是“扁桃体炎”。
总之，那顿饭，我是坐在桌边看着一桌子的菜，什么也吃不下去。
我妈吃完饭去乡里的卫生所给我买了清开灵以及板蓝根，吃了也没什么效果，一直到晚上，我还是疼得吃不下饭，同桌吃席的一个本家亲戚就说让我妈带着我去找长河叔。
长河叔是乡下一个小施工队头头，盖不了大楼进不了城，只是在乡下给人盖盖土房子，喜欢手里拿着一个罗盘看个风水，一般这种人在乡下还是挺吃得开的，基本每家都有事儿求到他身上的时候。
吃过饭，我妈就带我去找长河叔，长河叔正在忙着入坟的后续事宜，自顾自地浇着黄酒烧着纸钱，之前下葬的时候我也站在旁边看着，周围聚拢着一大批亲戚。
好几个高壮年抬着棺木放到土坑里，我那时看见姨奶奶的头发居然还露在棺材外面，马上喊道：
“头发，头发被夹着了。”
我妈当即捂住我的嘴，示意我不要乱喊，随后我才意识到，这应该是什么风俗，是故意的做法，不过，这其实也没什么用，因为后来听说这姨奶奶土葬一个礼拜后镇政府的人就找到了这里，强制要求把棺材重新挖出来送去火葬场火化了，当然，这是后事儿了。
长河叔见到我后，伸手在我腮部摸了摸，心疼道：
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