第六章:你们这些变态全都要死!
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老板娘感觉自己下巴要落到脚面去了。
“王陆!!#!#!”
“哈哈,本姑娘姓王名璐,你们两个还不快快来拜?”
“……”
“总之,因为你们都派不上用场,想想也只有我亲自出马了,绝不是有特殊爱好。”
“……”
“也是刚才看到水面倒影的灵机一动……唉,虽然咱谈不上多么英俊潇洒,不过趁着青春期第二性征还没完全发育成熟,客串一回伪娘还勉强做得到。”
“……”
“别光张着嘴发呆,提点意见,我现在这模样还过得去否?花了点时间打点,大体应该差不离,细节有待琢磨,不过一时间也顾不得那么多了。”
“……”
老板娘和闻宝依然一副惊骇欲绝的表情,石雕一般站在原地,一动也不动。
王陆无奈地摇了摇头,然后伸手摸向老板娘的胸口……
砰!又是一副人物画。
某二次元人物画勉强说道:“……你这不是挺精神的么?刚才那没防备的姿势算是引蛇出洞?”
老板娘羞红了脸,手遮着胸口:“臭流氓,死变态,你……简直恶心!”
王陆从墙上跳下来,愤怒反驳:“还不是你这平胸无能!若不然何苦让我这良家俊男出卖色相?我心理压力山大好么!?”
“死变态!离我远一点!还有,不许呼吸,你这种变态会污染整个县城的空气!”
“靠,你这平胸嚣张个毛啊!?”
老板娘怒极,然而目光一转,不由奇道:“你说我平胸……可你这大男人,那胸部又算怎么回事?感觉不像是用棉花苹果之类填充的诶”
王陆叹了口气,拍了拍胸口,发出砰砰的闷响。
“这……”老板娘愕然,随即恍悟,“你是调整了肋骨的形状!?好家伙,你竟然偷偷摸摸练成了这门功夫!?”
王陆嘲讽似的笑道:“无相剑骨嘛,练的不就是骨头?虽然难受了点,撑个一两天倒是问题不大,反正不动手,不剧烈活动产生乳摇的话,和真家伙区别也不会太大。”
“堂堂无相剑骨让你这么用,还真是……”
“上梁不正下梁歪,这门功法估计早在师父手里产生了诸多更没下限的用法了,例如第三根腿骨之类……我这雕虫小技根本见不得人。好了,闲话不多说,我这就上门色诱去了。”
老板娘吃了一惊:“这就去?这么直接?总要有个理由?之前我可是和闻宝演了好长一出戏诶!”
“那是因为你们两个太弱了,所以我不得不增加前戏!但以我的实力又何须润滑?”王陆一声冷笑,“待会儿你就瞧好,让你见识一下专业冒险者的厉害!”
“是专业冒险者的变态……”
不多时,一行三人再次来到别院门口,老板娘和闻宝在暗处偷窥,女装的王陆则带着自信满满的笑容,从藏身处走了出去。
借着藏身处阴影的遮蔽,王陆也不知从哪儿摸出来一瓶美酒,然后对准脖子就是一阵猛洒,顿时酒气熏天!
然后王陆的步子也变得蹒跚迷离,左摇右摆,宛如贵妃醉酒。
在老板娘的瞠目结舌中,王陆轻轻开口,发出一阵细细的哀哭声。
“你个死没良心的……有了新人就忘了我,当初海誓山盟,全都是骗人的!”
老板娘只觉得头顶又是一阵狂雷猛轰,眼前一黑简直要就此晕倒!
这,这实在太毁世界观了,虽然对于王陆那个级别的修士来说,改变声线发出女子般的伪声根本轻而易举,事实上就连闻宝都能做得到。但是,一想起面前那个借酒消愁的失恋女子,真实身份是王陆那家伙…一
不好意思,我还是在地上找找我的下巴。
而另一边,王陆一边哭,一边似有意似无意地向别院门口走了过去。
两名护院的壮汉自然见到了这个夜幕下的醉酒女子,都是眉头一皱,总觉得事情似乎有些怪,但要说怪在哪里,一时间却又说不出来……反正权当看戏,那醉酒女子虽然形貌狼狈,但仔细看的话相貌其实不错,尤其是胸前那对凶器,当真不像是武侯县这偏远县城能养的出的。
两人面色木然,装出一副忠心耿耿守家门的姿态,目光却止不住去瞄,然而过了一会儿,就用不着这么装模作样了
因为那女子竟然踉跄着扑了过来,带着一身酒气扑入壮汉的怀中!
那壮汉当时就傻了,下意识想要推开女子,但醉酒的女人手劲儿好大,牢牢抓着他的胳膊,竟然挣脱不开。
“你们男人就没一个好东西!都是喜新厌旧,贪得无厌!”
“你……快放手!”那壮汉冷汗都出来了,这若是让管家甚至仙师看到了,自己这份差事也就保不住了。可是那女子虽然酩酊大醉,却难掩国色天香,他想下手却又实在不忍心。
另外一个壮汉愣了一会儿,想过来帮忙,谁知那女子见他靠近,立刻哭得更厉害,倒在地上不肯动了!
正为难间,院门开启,管家一脸怒意:“你们外面到底吵什么!?惹恼了仙师,咱们谁有好果子吃!?”
两名武师连忙七嘴八舌将事情交代一边,然后七手八脚将某个醉酒女子抬起来供管家过目。
管家先是被酒气熏得一皱眉,然而等看到女子的相貌,尤其是衣衫凌乱下胸前的一片雪白……
“……妈的,瞌睡时候送枕头啊这是。”管家咬了咬牙,伸手找来院中一个神秘兮兮的仆从,问了他几句,然后对两个武师说:“你们两个,把这女人给我抬进屋去。”
“啊?可是这女人……”
管家咬牙道:“妈的,虽然来历不明……但这个时候哪儿管得了那么多!仙师早就对原先那批女人没兴趣了,可咱们这小县城哪儿去找能入他法眼的绝色美女去?先前找了一个,又被嫌弃胸小!”
“可是,会不会……?”
“这宅院的法阵是仙师亲手布置的,用不着咱们操心。
两个武师点点头,反正是管家拿的主意,他们两个只负责执行,便抬着已经醉意不醒的女子进了院门。
管家亲自押后,看了看左右无人,便小心翼翼关上了院门,嘴里嘟囔着:“这个胸够大,比那男人婆强多了。”
同一时间,在附近某个幽暗角落,全程旁观的老板娘一口老血喷bo而出!
“你们这些变态……全都得死!”!s
[记住网址龙腾小说ltxsba.com]
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