第三百三十五章 走错片场!鲁智深要拳打镇关西?
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她忙从怀里掏出师尊给她的救命丹药,正准备跳到屋顶上救治郭大路,却看到屋顶那少年慢慢坐起来,痛呼了一声:“痛死俺啦!屁股开花!”
听着那熟悉的口音,小姑娘破涕为笑,伸手指着屋顶那少年,大声叫道:“傻的!”
接下来两天,几人一直留在无双城,头儿梁衍没说走,队伍就动不了,八殿下的意思是,适逢其会,不如就等一等,顺便去见识一下那梨山大会。
郭大路看破不说破,情知梁国八王子这次来无双城就是为梨山大会,只当没这回事,随口调侃道:“梨山自古出女将,八殿下这次说不定能遇着女元帅之才。”
梁衍云淡风轻,说了句“但愿如此”,执杯而饮。
这两日,郭大路带着梁红鲤把无双城转了个遍,对这座城池的风土人情有了个大致的了解,知道这座城里有位貌美如花的花魁“无双姑娘”,有位十年如一日的打铁,却只为铸一把剑的铁匠,还有一位能熬出鲜活一尾鱼鱼汤的厨娘……当然,还有城西那家屠宰场。
这日,郭大路和梁红鲤二人路过屠宰场,恰好看到屠宰场门前一位执事在大声吆喝着要招一位专管卖肉的刀手,郭大路也是一时好玩,主动报了名,并当着那执事的面耍了几个刀把式,结果自然是顺利入职,被分派到状元桥的摊铺。
梁红鲤“微服出巡”这么多次,从来没做过屠夫,今日有此体验,自然倍感新鲜,叽叽喳喳地围着郭大路忙得不亦乐乎。
梁衍和嵇达得知此事,都是一笑置之。
梁衍随口问了句:“圣人不是说‘君子远庖厨’吗?”
郭大路道:“圣人的原意是君子只有远离庖厨,才不会听到飞禽走兽被杀时的哀叫,这样,吃它们肉的时候就不会有心理负担。”
梁衍自嘲笑道:“不该与杏坛高徒辩论儒家经义。”
……
梨山大会在即,越来越多的修士开始进入无双城。
郭大路任职屠夫的第三天,城里来了位手持黑色宝杖的大和尚,那大和尚下了状元桥,来到郭大路摊铺,准备要买半只猪妖兽烤着吃,不料让他一眼看到梁红鲤,当即眼就直了,指着梁红鲤问郭大路:“这丫头卖不卖?咱家可以多出晶石!”
郭大路道:“不卖,你出妖丹也不卖。”
那大和尚道:“你把她卖了给我,咱家既不亏待她,也不亏待你,等于白白送你们两份机缘,也是看你们与我佛门有缘的意思,还望小施主识得好歹。”
说到最后四个字的时候,已有金刚怒目之势。
梁红鲤近墨者黑,最近也成了戏精,见那大和尚凶神恶煞的样子,怯生生地躲在郭大路身后,一双明亮如宝石的眸子带着恐惧地看着那大和尚。
郭大路“嘭”地一声将剔骨刀搠进砧板,道:“要买肉就买肉,不买肉就让开,不要挡我做生意!”
那大和尚终于变了脸色,冷笑一声,道:“好好好,我买肉!你现在给我切十斤七重猪妖的精肉,切做臊子,不要见半点肥的在上头!”
郭大路闻言,心里莫名一动,只觉得这台词好耳熟啊,再看了那大和尚一眼,恍然大悟,脱口道:“我说提辖大人,您这是拿错剧本走错片场了吧?”
这里怎么着也是跟西游世界关联着的吧,怎么一下乱入个水浒里面的好汉?
那大和尚丈二的和尚摸不着头脑,喝道:“少废话!快切与我。”
郭大路也不再多说,哐哐哐一通切,转眼完工,梁红鲤立即用荷叶把哨子精肉包好,放在一旁。
“三颗晶石。”郭大路算账。
“慢着!”大和尚伸手,道:“再给我十斤肥肉,也切成哨子,不得有半点精肉在里头。”
郭大路微笑点头,又是哐哐哐一通切。
十斤肥肉哨子打包。
“这包两颗晶石,两包共五颗晶石。”郭大路道。
那大和尚不理,道:“再要十斤寸金软骨,也要细细地剁做臊子,不要见些肉……”
话未落音,郭大路回头冲梁红鲤扬扬下巴,后者会意,猛地从铺子后面窜出,对着那大和尚胸膛就是一拳。
嘭!
那大和尚被一拳打飞,在空中喷出一道鲜红色的彩虹,径自掉进状元桥下面的护城河中。
扑通!
郭大路摇头自言自语道:“这才叫‘郭大路白天卖猪肉,九公主拳打花和尚’!”
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