夏天幻灭事件(3)
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
37不要对我说,你爱我。
我不说。
38黑暗中她摸到香烟,两个人坐在床上抽烟。明亮的烟头隐隐闪烁。她起身,地走到窗边推开玻璃,她说,这是今年夏天最大的一场暴雨。真好。似乎可以把整座城市漂走。我们像不像在一艘船上?
小时候,我住在亲戚家的阁楼里,每次下雨,我听着雨滴敲打在木板上的声音,就会以为自己是在一艘船上。
39在你的心里一直隐藏着告别吗?
是的。只有告别才能够让我感觉安全。
40我记得自己小时候是个皮肤饥饿的孩子,总是想让别人来拥抱我、抚摸我。因为想让别人注意,会故意把自己弄伤。用铁丝在手腕上勒,用刀片割自己,把自己冻成感冒。因为如果不生病,就没有人会来抱我。
她笑。那时候我很孤独,我害怕黑暗。非常害怕。我的母亲是个不快乐的女人,她一直在想着如何能快乐起来,我是她使用的方式之一,也是她最后的方式。她要一个男人给她一个孩子。只是她依然绝望。
所以她死了。她死去以后,没有人再亲吻我。
41我迫不及待地在16岁就投入了恋爱。因为恋爱会有亲吻。
但是那些亲吻也不持久。他说。
是。不持久。会不断离开,不断产生。我只相信一句话:永远要比别人先一步离开他,这样你才不会受伤。
其实你非常希望长久。只是你没有安全感。
是的,我没有。
42肌肤相亲带来什么。
带来短暂的温暖幻觉和更黑暗的幻灭。
他们又在一起。他们再次。
43你相信这是一个幻觉吗?他亲吻她。
是。我相信。
为什么?
因为我们不相爱。我们不爱。
44他们在整个凌晨不停地。雨终于停止,而天色开始发白。
地上是散落的烟头,还有她的刺绣白色吊带背心。揉得很皱。这是纯麻的料子,一皱起来就惨不忍睹。纯粹的东西禁不起细微的打击,因为不堪。
她穿上牛仔裤和发皱的背心,把她的长发编成辫子。他们没有睡着过。然后现在该去上班了。她从冰箱里拿出冰水来喝,然后又点了一支烟。
45她靠在浴室的门框上,看他剃须。她给他看她脖子上的斑痕。
[记住网址龙腾小说ltxsba.com]
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