七个月零九天(8)
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
他说,我知道你喜欢这样。更多小说ltxsba.com你是被虐狂。
她不说话,爬到床上坐在那里。她一直在笑。
他走过去,抱住她。他紧紧地抱住她,把脸贴在她的脖子上。她的脖子上也是血。
小恩,为什么?为什么我们会这样?
他轻声地疑惑地自言自语。他问她。他想起叶子的脸,那张在明亮温暖的阳光下像花朵一样绽放的脸。那时候他20岁。他第一次爱上一个女孩子。他是真挚地深切地爱过她。直到最后她离开他嫁给了另外一个男人。
他曾经猜测过自己心里爱的能力还留下多少。他是否还能够继续走下去,把感情托付给另外一个陌生的女子。
他突然明白有些东西是无法修复的。他心里明亮的东西有大部分已经被阴影覆盖。那是一些自私的愤怒的寒冷的东西。从遥远南方过来的小恩,来到他的身边。他们在彼此激发。激发深藏着的阴影。
他们又开始。小恩顺从地让他摆布。她没有声音也没有表情。她像一只彻底被破坏掉的玩具。甚至不再像以前那样提醒他及时抽身。他觉得自己太困了。贴着她的身体就睡了过去。
睡了一会儿,他被她摇醒。她说,我做梦了。刚刚做了一个梦。
她的神情看过去像一个睡意朦胧的天真的小女孩。他说,是噩梦吗?
不。我看到我们去订婚。排着队。很奇怪,不是结婚只是订婚,却要排那么长的队。我的手里还抓着粮食,好像是一把米。
你想嫁给我吗,小恩?他问她。
你要我嫁给你?
我想娶你。你相信我。
她没有说话,她又闭上了眼睛。她唇角和脖子上的血迹已经凝固了。她不让他擦干。她阻止他的姿态非常强硬。她又睡着了。
12为什么不能这样做
第二天他一早起来去上班。
她还在熟睡。出门之前,他想给她留一张条子。他写:小恩,晚上我们一起出去吃晚饭。原谅我。我以后再不会这样做了。你要相信我。
写完之后,看了一会儿,又随手把它撕掉。是。他不能让她看到他心里的软弱和恐惧。即使她已经融化在他的生活里,几乎不可分割。
他关上铁门下楼。因为脖子上有她指甲抓伤的血痕,他找出了一条围巾遮盖上。
还是在下雪。路上的雪全冻住了。他仰起头吸了一口凛冽的空气。他想,他还有工作,他还有一个现实正常的世界可以面对。他还有一个出生和长大的熟悉的城市。而小恩,她什么都没有。
他下了决心要对她好。
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