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伤寒天空(1)

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最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com

我搞不清那些没有来由的恨。

但我知道有没有来由的爱情。偶然的,看到一个男人的唇角,你爱上他。他的唇角有诡异的记号,你辨认出来。你看着他,在人流川越不息的大街上,尾气和灰尘把你包围。他越过你的时候,距离你只有两厘米。但是他过去了。你不知道他去哪里。一生都不会再看到他。

恨让我想起我在南京拔的那颗智牙。人被麻醉的状态里,只有牙齿被榔头重击的感觉,一次一次地透过身体。那一刻,我想起它曾带给我的许多折磨,它被迫脱离我的时候,已经支离破碎。

我一直记得它。

没有一个人能够像这颗牙齿。我的伤口渐渐都变得暧昧不清。

我记得一些片段。一些模糊的瞬间。那天我躺在某处高级公寓的草地上,看夜空里被风吹得迅速移动的云朵。大楼是倾斜的。好大的风,吹着裙子乱飞,好像是泡在清凉的湖水里面。真的很好。似乎不属于这个城市。只是我很快被赶走了。保安对我说,你可以去公园。但是公园的人太多,树也太多。我看不到。

在黑暗的酒吧里,一个男人把他的手指搭在我的手指上,他说,这是一种巫术,你能看到什么?我说,我感觉不到你血液流动的声音。我什么都听不到。什么都看不到。

吧台边挤满跳舞的人群。充满迷幻的电子音乐。黑暗中的汗水和欲望。洋人浓烈的香水味道。颓靡的白色长枝花朵。琥珀色的酒精。古怪的镜子里有苍白的容颜。长发的女子,柔软的腰肢。他拉住我的手,带我穿越过黑暗的人群。他的手出人意料的强硬。那一刻,我的心里充满绝望。

台阶上坐满了年轻的洋人。我们跑到偏僻的马路上。

远处24小时营业的超市发出刺眼的白色灯光。一个涂着冰蓝眼影的女孩在幽暗的墙脚下走过。她像觅食的猫。有人在接吻。流浪汉蜷缩在树下,伸出肮脏的手。

我害怕自己再去那个茂名南路的酒吧。它的绝望击中了我。那种堕落到底的欲望,隐藏在每一个不知道何去何从的人身上。把一个残破的罐子用力地摔在地上,听它破碎的声音。这是一部分人想做的事情。他们的语言,他们的欲望,他们的伤口,被破碎声所淹没了。

这就是我喜欢的上海。它的冷漠覆盖了所有的绝望。

我想我爱上它。我会独自去那里跳舞。

我喜欢凌晨1点左右,回到自己的房间的感觉,黑暗的楼梯,打开灯。上楼,然后熄灭。打开上一层楼的灯。上楼,然后再熄灭。长长的走廊里,有绿色的植物在呼吸。我想我不会把任何人带到我的房间。这是只属于我一个人的地方。可以有写作和哭泣。没有任何人可以出现。

[记住网址龙腾小说ltxsba.com]

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