030 太后懿旨
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“那当然，也不看看你老妈我是谁？”张劲妈妈自得的说了一句后，才恍然发现，自己本来说话的‘提纲’被自己狡猾的儿子给打乱了，连忙将话题扯回自己预定的主线，“少拍马屁，这次可别想打哈哈的把你妈糊弄过去。更多小说ltxsba.com说吧，你和小叶子准备啥时候要孩子？”张劲妈妈嘴里的小叶子就是她称呼张劲前妻叶红的昵称。
张劲妈妈对叶红就像是叶红的妈妈对张劲一样，喜欢得不得了。那亲热的架势让张劲的姐姐看到了，都嫉妒眼热。张劲和叶红离婚的时候，最担心的就是两方父母无法接受。叶红的父母因为在同城生活，离婚前也经常见面的缘故，而无法隐瞒，但是两人离婚的事情对远在京城的张劲父母却有的是方法瞒天过海。所以直到如今，张劲妈妈还不知道自己喜欢的像自己女儿一样的那个小叶子已经不是自己的儿媳妇了。
张劲苦笑：“妈，你不用这么急吧？我还不到三十岁，这是男人最能够享受生活的时期。你就行行好，让你那个孙子晚点出现，让我多享受两年不行么？男人嘛……就算是四十岁要孩子都不晚！”
张劲的话引来李琴言辞激烈的批斗：“你是觉着不晚了，那小叶子呢？女人年纪大了生孩子是有危险的，你知不知道？那叫高龄产妇！你怎么就知道顾着自己，不知道心疼人呢？”
张劲的笑容更苦，虽然心里想着‘我将来的孩子他妈还不知道在哪个角落里猫着呢！反正和您老人家喜欢的小叶子没关系。’嘴里却依然得蒙就蒙的敷衍着老妈的质问：“妈，叶子她今年才二十六岁，离高龄产妇的年龄还早着呢吧？”
“早？不早，一点都不早！现在这个年龄刚好，而且趁着我和叶子她妈还年轻，能帮你们带一下孩子。不然再过两年，我们都老了，孩子怎么办？谁来带？如果找陌生人来当保姆，我还不放心呢！你没看到电视上说，很多孩子就是因为家长没有时间管教，长时间家中独处，不是得了自闭症就是学坏么？跟你说孩子就是责任，你可不能光想着自己，还得为孩子考虑考虑……”
张劲觉着挺委屈的，连忙辩解说：“妈，这生孩子是俩人的事，就算我想也不行啊？这事急不来吧？”
“甭给我东拉西扯的，我都给叶子打过电话了，她说就是你不想这么早要孩子的！￥#￥%……”这下子李琴的口气更冲了。
被老妈训了个劈头盖脸的张劲彻底语塞，好一会儿被训的懵头懵脑的他才想起找借口打断：“妈，你看我现在正忙着呢，要不然有机会的话我们再聊？”心里却想着，“叶红这个魔女，离婚了也不让我好过。居然还跑老妈那里进我的谗言，告我歪状，这简直太……”
“哦，那好吧……”当了几十年老师，训惯了学生的李琴有些意犹未尽，真怀念退休前的日子啊。
“哎，等一下……”就在张劲如释重负的想要挂上电话的时候，话筒里再次传来急切的声音让张劲的心又重新提到了嗓子眼儿，还好这一次老妈说的不再是‘下一代’的问题了。
“对了，让你给气的，妈把正事都给忘了。”太后在仗着自己老妈的身份，有点不讲理的训斥了一句后，继续说：“你不是在深市当大夫么，知不知道比较好的减肥医院。你小姑家的小兵从津市跑回去了。”
老妈嘴里的小兵名字叫戚兵，是张劲小姑姑的儿子，比张劲小了整整十岁。也许是从小就是就是姑父所在戚家的独子独孙的缘故，集万千宠爱于一身，从小伙食就好，结果造成了营养过剩。导致现在刚刚年仅十九岁的他虽然身高足有一百九十几公分，但是体重也超过了二百，而且单位还是公斤！这种‘魁梧’的体型，在旁人看来简直就是一座肉山！
今年高三的戚兵在半年前一次体育课上突然休克，结果被救护车送到医院后，经过检查发现是患上了一种名为‘肺通气不良综合症’的病，这是一种由于肥胖引发的高危疾病，长此以往甚至会有生命危险。为了这小子小命的考虑，张劲的姑姑不得不给他办理了休学手续，将他送到津市一家很有名气的减肥中心治疗。结果没有想到，这小子从小到大被娇惯坏了，哪里吃得了这种苦？最终在减肥的第一个困难期刚刚开始，体重根本就没有下降的时候，就做了逃兵，跑回了家里。
“减肥啊……”张劲想到自己宗师级医师种种神鬼莫测的手段和戚兵一直以来和自己的亲近，爽快的回答说：“行，这样好了，等一下我给我老姑打个电话，让他把小兵送过来好了。到了深市，我安置他。”
…………
挂了家里太后的电话，又给东北老家的姑姑打了电话，确定了戚兵到深的时间。刚刚结束了和姑姑的通话还不到五秒，张劲的电话就再次响了起来。看着来电显示屏上的名字，张劲忍不住让笑容挂上了嘴角，随手接通电话后不客气的训道：“臭小子，反应倒是挺快的么！啥事儿？有话就说！”打来电话的正是张劲刚刚和小姑达成‘倒卖’协议的主人公，大胖子戚兵同学。
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