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042 胖子的世界

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张劲这畜生搅得人家小姑娘心里一团乱麻后,在郝秀儿心里又盼又怕的矛盾心理中,拍拍屁股就走。龙腾小说ltxsba.com干干脆脆的既没有要人家的电话,也没给人家留自己的名片。如果张劲已经翻滚过人家的话,这种行为已经可以用‘拔鸟无情郎’来称呼了。

买了一大堆的书后,张劲就开车回家了。虽然因为好久没有滚过软妹子,心里有些想念那种活动,但是他习惯的是去酒吧打猎,而不是干花钱买卖的事情。而如果要到酒吧打猎的话又时间不对。谁见过有白领小妞大白天的去酒吧找一夜情的么?一夜情,一夜情,就这名字就已经阐明了这种活动的时间,夜间。这时候大白天的,人家这些丽人们还正在办公室里兢兢业业的积攒晚上发泄的怨气呢。

值得庆幸的是现在张劲已经有了《龙象般若功》傍身,真气流动经过张劲的主动调节改变了流动线路。如果还是仅有《葵花》在身的时候,张劲还是这样十几日不沾女色的话,那强盛的欲火没准真就要把他给烧坏了。

到家后,张劲发现戚兵这个好学的胖子居然没有一如往常的老老实实呆在他常在的那棵树下看书。张劲一边小心的把爱车开进了后院鱼塘一侧的车库中,一边开始以胡乱琢磨起来:“难道戚兵这小子往常的用功是给我看的,知道他妈给我监督他学习的任务了?所以往常在我眼皮子底下老老实实的,一旦我这个老虎不在家,他就以为自己是大王了?”张劲当然不能说‘老虎不在家,猴子称霸王’这话,虽然说‘世界之大,无奇不有’,但是也不可能一下子就‘进化’出这么一个一百九十多公分,四百多斤的猴子啊!

戚兵不是张劲,他没有高达10点洞察带来的变态听觉,也没有与‘狗中妖孽’黑水晶的心有灵犀,所以直到张劲已经进了一楼的大门,他也没有发现这位哥哥已经回来了。仍然躺在一楼厅中的沙发上,抱着笔记本扯着嗓门和另一头的人聊天。

“何胖子,老子就算受不了那苦又咋样?你是挺下去了,说说你现在轻了几斤?”戚兵对着摄像头,一脸嚣张的说。

笔记本屏幕上也是一个脸如满月的胖小子,和戚兵一样,说起话来腮帮子、下巴上的肉坨坨直抖,满脸的波涛澎湃,“嘿嘿,戚胖子,我要是说了怕你嫉妒。十一斤,现在我已经整整轻了十一斤了!按照这个进度下去,你何哥我用不了多久,就是西门庆转世,犀利哥再生了,哈哈。”这小子笑的还挺嚣张。

“十一斤?你都进去快俩月了,才减了了十一斤你还好意思和你家戚爷吹牛?我刚称过,我现在可是整整减了二十三斤,马上就要跌破四百斤大关了,哈哈哈哈……别忘了你家戚哥我到现在为止可才减肥不到十天啊!”戚兵回以更加嚣张的笑声。

听了戚兵的话,那个自称何哥的胖子还没什么表示呢,突然另外一张宽度毫不逊色的胖脸在屏幕上出现,挤开了何胖子的肥脸,“你就吹吧?凭你那一点苦都吃不了的德行,能减下来肥膘才怪呢!”对于戚兵这种档次的胖子来说,轻个十斤二十斤的如果光靠目测的话,还真就看不出来。所以这第二位胖子自然一百个不信。

戚兵更加得意:“李胖子,你懂个屁。我这是大师级中医的中医减肥你知道不?咱老祖宗传下来的中医可不像是鬼子那样不人道,不用节食,不用锻炼,不限制睡眠,而且没有任何痛苦。你们每天要累的像死狗,饿的像难民,哪能跟老子舒舒服服的天天吃大餐管饱、睡懒觉自然醒,还轻轻松松的掉肥肉轻松?嘿嘿,老子气死你们,眼馋死你们!我得意的笑,我得意的笑……啊,痛。”

就在戚兵这胖子得意忘形的时候,张劲的栗凿落在了他的大脑袋上。戚兵回头看去,这才发现,自己这位老哥不知什么时候回来了。于是在扭头对屏幕中挤在一起的两张肥脸说了一声:“有事,有时间再跟你们扯。”说着断开了聊天软件。

“哥,你咋这么快就回来了?让你弟弟我看看,都买了些啥?”戚兵伸手接过张劲手中的两个大袋子。

张劲笑呵呵的在沙发的另一侧坐下,好奇的问:“刚才你和谁聊天呢?看他们的样子好像和你同病相怜啊。至少那张脸已经和你不相上下了。”

戚兵一边自己解着捆书的包装带,一边随口回答说:“那是李胖子和何胖子,在津市减肥中心认识的。同一个监号子的狱友。”

张劲笑着伸出手去,捅了捅戚兵腰间庞大的肉堆,看着陷进去又弹出来的手指,“你还叫人家胖子,你看看你,你这算是五十步笑百步,还是百步笑五十步啊?”

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