082 黄鼠狼中的‘战斗狼’
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3、……
以上这就是之前张劲为三毛子断诊时得到的诊断结果。若不是《武林三国》系统一直以来表现良好,张劲绝对难以相信,三毛子那副吓人的模样,竟然是因为中了黄鼠狼的屁毒导致的。
如果说这黄鼠狼的一个臭屁能让三毛子涕泪横流、抱头鼠窜的话,这并不为奇,臭屁可是黄鼠狼保命的看家本领。但是这黄鼠狼不但能够一个屁撂倒正当壮年,身体好的跟大牲口似的三毛子,而且竟然是足以致命的‘中度中毒’,这已经是非同一般的奇闻了。
毕竟黄鼠狼的臭屁虽然略有毒性,但是那只不过是它御敌的武器,而不是杀敌的武器,有这么烈的毒性还是令人难以置信。更何况,从三毛子嘴里得知,这黄鼠狼的屁不是臭的,竟然是香的,还是什么‘夜来香’的味道。会放香屁的黄鼠狼,这可是听都没听过的奇闻啊。
如果张劲不是宗师级驯养师,如果张劲只是一直生活在城市里的乡村知识小白,也能看得出来这头黄鼠狼显然不是普通的货色,绝对是黄鼠狼中的战斗狼。更何况如今的张劲可是最顶端的宗师级驯养师,他自然更能体会出这只黄鼠狼的非同凡响!
于是,张劲开始对这个‘屁王’级的黄鼠狼有了兴趣。注意了,是‘兴趣’而不是‘性趣’。
张劲心里惦记着,表面倒也没有露出什么异样。面对海聚诚的追问,张劲也没有想到隐瞒,随口回答说:“不是啥病,之前鸡窝那里闹哄哄的,就是因为有黄皮子来你们家摸鸡来了。那黄皮子不禁吓,三毛子一到就放屁了,结果就这么一个屁就把三毛子熏晕过去了。”
张劲这一解释可不得了,满屋的人无不大惊失色,一时间窃窃私语的嗡嗡声四起,“是黄大仙……能够一下子迷倒这么大人的也只能是法力高深的黄大仙了。”海聚诚颤颤巍巍的说。
这时候张劲才恍然发现,自己说出的话对这些人是多么震撼。在全国各地尤其是乡村之中,尤其是老一辈,不乏信奉萨满的。在这些信众的心中,黄鼠狼、狐狸都是大仙。所以一听这三毛子是被黄鼠狼迷了,还以为海聚诚家做了什么,触怒了黄大仙呢,所以也就难怪会一副惴惴不安的样子。
张劲见到场面渐渐失控,连忙试图挽救,“聚诚叔,你们别担心。你家三毛子估计就是他一直在城里,好不容易回来住了两天,见着了媳妇,所以就辛苦了点,搞得最近有点体虚。这才会连这一个屁都禁受不起,可不是这黄大仙法力高强。”
张劲这带着调笑的话,终于让屋里紧张的气氛稍微放松了一点。尤其几个年轻小伙,更是阴阳怪气的笑了起来。一下子臊的三毛子脸通红的说不出话来。
大家笑闹着,直到时间快午夜十二点了,三毛子把自家老婆煎好的中药喝下,张劲和其他相亲们才陆陆续续的离开。
虽然看上去,海聚诚父子和他的儿媳在张劲的劝解下似乎真的放下了心里的担忧,但是当张劲最后离开的时候,还是隐隐约约的听到关上院门后,海聚诚的话:“三儿媳妇,您把场院打扫一下。我去把准备过两天鬼节祭祖的家什拿出来,再杀一只鸡,拜一拜黄大仙。不管是不是咱家得罪大仙了,还是先道个歉再说……”
张劲摇着头离开,既然海聚诚老爷子要拜一拜求心安,也随他,算不得什么。
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