312 宋氏理论
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有些春情涌动的席媛不小心，疏忽了上次二对一时，自己二人仍然大败亏输的惨象。
虽然心里有些动心，但是席媛还是奇怪的反问了一句：
“婷婷，你不是认真的吧？”
“诶？”
宋怡婷这个奇葩的雄百合，见到席媛脸上奇怪的表情，还以为席媛是吃醋了呢，好声安慰说：
“你放心，我就是说说而已。就算是真的，也只试一试罢了。姓张的对我来说，不过就是一个朋友，外加一个不需要电池的东西。只有最纯粹的友情而已，我发誓，我爱的只有你！”
宋怡婷的劝慰，话中的比喻，让席媛有中想要笑场的感觉。
张劲=一个朋友+一个不要电池的东西
当席媛脑海中闪过这个等式的时候，表情有点绷不住了，看向宋怡婷的神色变的十分奇怪。
还不等席媛真俊不禁的爆笑出来，宋怡婷就在席媛古怪的眼光下，一番诅咒发誓的‘爱情宣言’后，很快就把话头跳到另一个话题上来。
“男人的体力都有这么好么？我看至少能抵得上六节七号电池……”
宋怡婷的这一句话，就像是用钉子在岌岌可危的堤坝上糟了一个小洞一样，牵一发而动全身。
终于让本就已经忍得很辛苦的席媛笑喷了。她是第一次听说有人用电池来量化衡量男人的。
看着席媛抱着肚子趴着拍床的爆笑样儿，宋怡婷还莫名其妙的斜了自己的爱人一眼后，自圆其说的解释道：
“你笑什么啊？我说的是真的。你看啊……”
说着，宋怡婷拿出了一只刚刚和席媛用过的‘玩具’拆了开来。
“这种，一次需要用三节七号电池。按照录像里姓张的那个家伙的频率程度，我估计至少有三档的强度。你也知道，如果开到三档的话，三节电池只能用一个小时……而这家伙足足折腾了两个多小时，你说可不就相当于六节电池么……”
宋怡婷开口解释，有理有据的，似乎论证充分。但是，却让席媛忍不住笑的更加的厉害了，无力的拍了几下床后，干脆打起滚来。
“六节电池……三档……哈哈……我不行了……笑死我了……”
宋怡婷的解释在席媛听来，实在是太好笑了！这一肚子、一脑袋的笑意，真的是忍无可忍。
“你别笑啊，我说真的。而且我还少算了呢！你知道，这三节电池一小时，到最后十来分钟的时候，根本没有三档的程度。我看，姓张的都快有九节电池了……”
被席媛笑的莫名其妙的宋怡婷锲而不舍的解释道。
结果，席媛连打滚儿的力气都没有了，只能侧躺在那里跟离开水的鱼一样，腮帮子一抽一抽的有气无力的呻吟。一只手按在肚子上，无力的按揉着。
腮帮子和肚子都被笑痛了！
笑的有些缺氧的席媛，甚至似乎幻听似的听到，自己脑海中正有一个声音止不住的大笑着：
‘哈哈哈哈哈哈……’
…………
四九城中，张劲还不知道自己已经在奇葩般的宋怡婷的‘宋氏理论’中变成了一节一节的七号电池。
张劲在心思纠结挂断席媛的电话，在纠结着弄完晚餐，纠结着吃完晚饭，又纠结着傻呆呆的陪着老妈又看了几分钟电视后，终于放下了心思。
“爱咋地咋地，该来的躲不过去，担心也是白担心；不会来的，就是不会来，担心更是浪费感……反正伸头一刀，缩头也是一刀……兵来将挡，水来土掩……今朝有酒今朝醉，明日愁来明日忧……
你宋大百合，是要杀要剐，要判要罚，放马过来就是。我张某人怕过谁了？”
张劲一番阿q似的自我排解后，很光棍的下定了‘死猪不怕开水烫’的心思后，彻底放开了心下的担心，把被宋怡婷抓到尾巴这事儿抛诸脑后，再次恢复了懒洋洋、没心没肺的心境。
话说，自从《武林三国》附身以来，张劲越来越想的开了，很有些万事不盈于心，啥都难不倒他的那种感觉。
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