604 进化的何榴莲
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何爸爸不是装傻充愣,但更甚装傻充愣的一句话,让原本斗志满满的刘老爷子顿时有些泄气。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com就好像全力打出的一拳打在空处一样,浑身上下不得劲!
而何妈妈那捂着嘴偷笑的样子,更是让本来进门时气势十足的刘老爷子,有些灰溜溜的下不来台。
一口气堵在嗓子眼,死活吐不出来,郁闷的想要呕血三升!鼓胀着脸,说不出话来。
最终,在何爸爸再次追问之下,刘老爷子也只能郁郁的吐口长气后,有气无力的自我介绍道:
“我老刘可没那个福分见你何大师的金面,咱俩在现实中没见过面。但是,咱俩打过嘴架,隔空骂战那种。”
听出这老哥儿是自己曾经的敌人,做了几十年强悍斗士的何爸爸也不怯场,虽然躺在那里,但是面对居高临下的刘老爷子丝毫不气弱,先是在心里嘀咕了一句‘怪不得一来就阴阳怪气的,原来是敌人’,然后才很是裕如的回道:
“别人都叫我何过之‘何榴莲’,咱就是榴莲的脾性,又臭又硬浑身带刺。这辈子得罪过的,骂过的败类,没有一百个,也有八十个。也许是你老哥儿的脸太大众,也许是我何过之的记性不好,也许你本就是不值得我记住的阿猫阿狗,所以你还是自我介绍一下的好!”
凭着多年‘征战’总结出来的经验,何爸爸秉承‘既然是敌人,那就不用客气’的行为准则,一开口就夹枪带棒!
从这开口一句话的给力程度,可以看得出来,何爸爸这一年来的无数让他痛苦的电视节目确实没有白看,这不是。一直谦谦君子、酸硬腐臭的何爸爸,这都学会毒舌了!
何爸爸的这一句话,果然杀伤力非同凡响,让刘老爷子气的差点没背过气去。斗牛般气咻咻的与何爸爸互不相让的对视了一会儿后,刘老爷子才咬牙切齿、一字一顿的说:
“你总该记得你‘何榴莲’的绰号是怎么来的吧?你总该记得是谁第一个把这三个字喊出口的吧?”
经过刘老爷子提醒,何爸爸总算将眼前这个满面红光,精神健旺的能与年轻人一比的老头,同曾经看过的那张照片对应了起来。
抬起没有受伤的右手,指着一脸狰狞的刘老爷子的鼻尖诧异的惊讶道:
“难道你就是那个……。那个为了美色,为了青春貌美的学生,抛妻弃子,不顾伦常的禽兽老师?那个姓刘的老流氓?”
又是一次剧毒无比的毒舌!
‘禽兽?’‘不顾伦常?’‘流氓?’
刘老爷子顿时一脸的黑线,脑门子上绷出无数的十字路口。
然而。还不等吹胡子瞪眼的刘老爷子发飙的开口反击,何爸爸又一脸沉思的大声‘自言自语’说:
“不对啊?难道天道有变,照那老流氓天怒人怨的作风,老天有眼的话,这时候早该让他寿终正寝、回炉重造了。怎么看起来,比前两年报纸上的照片还年轻几分?
难道他不是老流氓,而是那个老流氓的儿子?或者兄弟?”
被当代电视糟粕带坏的何爸爸。一番组合拳下来,差点没让刘老爷子吐血。要知道,当初骂战,他可是胜方!但如今。却来开口都很艰难。
这些年来,到底是何榴莲进步的太多,还是自己退化的太快啊?
有些哑口无言的刘老爷子用喷火的双眼气咻咻的瞪着何爸爸,搜肠刮肚了好久。才算眼珠子一转,找到了打击点。
“你说我好也罢。不好也罢,咱老刘不在乎。反正我老刘现在确实是活着,而且活得很好,还能至少活个二三十年。
而且跟你何大师比起来,老刘我可是滋润得多。
不但在这里山清水秀的住着,而且每天每顿都有好酒喝着,有天下绝顶的美味吃着。
你再看看你,何大师,正人君子,如今又怎么样呢?还不如我这个‘流氓’呢!
你看看你这张脸,要不是我知道你是何榴莲,我都要以为你是何榴莲的爷爷辈儿了。明明比我小了十几岁,却比我长的老了十几年!
看着现在的我活蹦乱跳的想去哪儿去哪儿,身体好,精神头更好。不用像某人一样,躺在床上装木乃伊!
你羡慕吧!你也只能羡慕!不羡慕的话,有种跳地上来跟我得瑟得瑟啊?不能吧!
这就是因为你心眼小,自己给自己憋屈的。这叫自作自受!
该!活该!”
一大串的话脱口而出后,刘老爷子再次找到了心理平衡,长长的出了一口气。顿觉之前被毒舌攻击的憋屈尽皆烟消云散去,已经否极泰来,山青水绿,身心俱畅。
刘老爷子这番话,颇有道理。年纪大了,最重要的是啥?还不就是身体么?
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