705 ‘优优美’奶茶
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当几个丫头就北宫朔月的之前的那段表白词进行深入挖掘之后,几个小丫头的声音也开始有点飘忽,似乎也同样陷入郭金秋般的带入模式中。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com
在明月下、河水边、草地上,一个男人向自己深情的告白……然后展开一场轰轰烈烈、惊心动魄、海枯石烂、石破天惊、缠绵悱恻的恋爱……
而且,四个小丫头脑海中的画面中,那个被告白、被追求的女人自然是自己,而那个追求她们的男人,赫然竟有着同一张脸孔。
几个丫头目光迷离的恍惚了一小会儿后,叶萌才率先醒来,然后带着一脸期盼表情,好奇的向张劲问道:
“姐夫,我姐姐是你的什么啊?”
叶萌突如其来的一句话,不但把三个还流连在臆想中的姐妹惊醒,同样也让叶红的耳朵支楞了起来。虽然叶红对张劲的花心行径大感恼火,但是在心底最深处,她仍然深爱着张劲这个臭男人,所以当然仍然喜欢听张劲的甜言蜜语了!听到妹妹问了这个问题,叶红自然要侧耳倾听。
看着五双炯炯发光的眼睛齐刷刷的she向自己,尤其是叶红扫过来的余光,更是让张劲颇感到了一些压力,以至于张劲一时间脑子有些空白。
但是,他的潜意识告诉自己,这个时候决不能磕巴、不能含糊,应该像条件反she似的,在第一时间给出答案,不然叶红这个对自己一肚子怨气,正时刻准备找自己茬儿的女人绝对会说自己不真诚。然后,借此引申出一连串的罪名。
那种‘恶劣’情况,绝对是张劲需要竭力避免的。
于是,张劲第一时间只能给出一个绝不会犯错的答案:
“这还用问嘛!你姐姐当然是我的老婆,以后的孩子他妈了!
这可是有本本为证的,我们俩的关系,于公于私,在情理上、在法理上,都是合情合理合法的!
而且此关系绝非包办,绝对情投意合,绝对你情我愿……”
正当信口开河的张劲,为自己的急智感到满意的时候,当事人叶红,以及变身小八卦婆的606的四朵金花却都不满意了。叶萌更是嘟着嘴娇嗔的撒着娇追问道:
“姐夫,我说的不是这个了?之前胖子哥把岳文婷那个吉娃娃比成美酒,把自己比做离了这种酒就活不了的大酒鬼。我觉着挺有诚意的。
所以我想知道,你把我姐姐,也就是你的老婆比做了什么?”
张劲有了之前装糊涂的空当,脑子已经转了几圈,所以当606四朵金花再次追问的时候,张劲已经找到了应对的方法,直接给出了从电视广告中看来的答案:
“你姐姐当然是我的‘优优美’nai茶了!”
张劲的答案虽然不像北宫朔月那么原创,那么动人,甚至有些俗套,但也算得上是中规中矩。所以,几个心中暗羡的小丫头也没有挑刺儿,反而语带羡慕的感叹说:
“姐夫的比喻虽然很俗,但也很好!就像那句话说的一样,‘暖暖的,很贴心’。咦?不对,这好像是胃药广告,那个‘优优美’是怎么说来着?”
“笨啊,还‘暖暖的,很贴心’,你咋不说是‘洗洗更健康’呢?记住了,‘优优美’说的是是‘捧在手心里的感觉’!”
“对,就是这个,‘捧在手心里的感觉’!”
……
就当几个感xing的小丫头再次陷入臆想,想象如果自己被那个‘刚刚在河边表白的男人’捧在手心里,该是何等惬意的感觉的时候,叶红却突然爆出很破坏气氛的一句话,打碎了四个小丫头脑海中飞舞的所有浪漫画面。
“你们几个笨丫头,这是没听懂这家伙的话,你们想偏了,中了这家伙的语言陷阱。
他其实真想说的是,他把我当成他的老婆。然后,他把他的老婆当成‘优优美’nai茶。
之所以他要把老婆比作‘优优美’nai茶,他的意思可不是你们说的那个什么‘捧在手心里的感觉’,而是另一句——
首尾连接起来,可以绕地球五圈!”
“噗——”
“噗——”
“噗——”
“噗——”
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