770 这忙我帮定了
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送走岳文卓的第二天，张劲刚刚完成晨读，刚从岳文婷的床上爬起来的北宫朔月，就气势汹汹的找了过来。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com
北宫朔月来到张劲身边后，大马金刀的一坐，一只蒲扇大的肥手就直接伸到了张劲的下巴前：
“你市里那个家的家门钥匙拿来给我？”
“凭啥？”
“凭啥？你还问我凭啥？你还好意思问我凭啥？
我受不了你了行不行？跟你住在一起，对追求生活品质的我来说，简直就是煎熬！
昨天晚上好不容易我家婷婷的伤好了点，好不容易让我加婷婷半推半就的同意了我的要求，正想搞出点事儿来。结果，刚摆好姿势，还没合体呢，你就来砸门，然后我家婷婷就彻底醒了，死活不同意陪我玩儿了。你说你多缺德？你这是作孽啊？
这么几次下来，胖子我的前列腺非出问题不可。
再说了，你说我在家里请假，挤出这点时间来容易么？胖子我不过就是想好好和我家婷婷培养一下感情而已，结果你丫的没完没了的穷搅合。我还培养个屁的感情，再过段时间如果我不得不回去，结果这边我家婷婷跑了，到时候我找你要去啊？
少说废话，赶紧把你市里的家门钥匙给我，我现在就带着我家婷婷去市里住。我和我家婷婷好好过几天小日子！好好培养一下感情，至少要让我家婷婷为我着魔，唱出‘冬雷震震、夏雨雪，天地合。乃敢与君绝’我才能放心的回家继续当我很有前途的商人去！”
北宫胖子说的理直气壮，简直拿张劲家当自己家看。充分贯彻了‘你的就是我的，我的还是我的’的流氓主义精神。
张劲对于北宫胖子强盗般的要求一时间也找不到抗议的借口，而且也觉着这胖子和自己‘分居’算得上是一件好事。
再过两天，张劲就要离开家至少几天的时间，去送小姨子叶萌同学去鹭市报到＄果没有自己在家，只留下北宫朔月与岳文婷这一对儿同何家三口都不熟悉的人在这儿，也确实不便。
而且≈在北宫胖子扮演的是一个丝级学生党，所以去宾馆开房也不方便。要是住低档的小旅馆的话，这胖子倒还好说吃得了这种苦，但是一身富贵病的岳文婷绝对住不惯。高档宾馆，胖子身为‘穷学生’的身家，按道理应该是住不起的。
而岳文婷虽然有钱有卡，就算天天住五星级宾馆的总统套房都不算是什么负担。但显然这个翘家公主并不适合在这时候支出。就算她老爹没把她的卡兔。跟家里冷战的时候花家里的钱，也有些说不过去。
再说了，岳文婷可是翘家出来的，为了躲避家里人的‘追捕’隐姓埋名，如果因为刷卡记录而被岳家父母顺藤摸瓜的找到，抓了回去，这俩想要倾情演绎《文君当垆卖酒》的演员。可就要傻眼了！除非他俩甘心暴露，或者干脆改演《孔雀东南飞》或者《梁山伯与注台》！
所以，脑子里飞快的转了一圈儿，想清楚选择得失后，张劲干脆也不挣扎，很干脆的交出了深市家里的钥匙。
原本打算就这个钥匙，与张劲大战三百回合的北宫胖子，看着张劲很干脆就递到手中的钥匙，一时间有些傻眼，就像全力打出的拳头击在空处一样。被闪了一下似的难受。
愣愣的瞅着手中的要是发呆许久，又通过反复询问，确定这钥匙确实是张劲市里家门的钥匙后，北宫胖子很恶心的感动起来：
“老劲，你真够意思！居然难得慷慨一把，一点条件没讲，一点勒索都没提的就把钥匙交出来了。
你放心，就凭你这次毫无条件的慨然相助。以后有啥事儿，胖子我绝对两肋插刀的帮助你！
现在胖子我先给你个保证，你想追我姐的这个忙我帮了！
怎么样，够意思吧。要知道我这可是冒着生命的握！”
胖子说前半句话的时候，那感激涕零的样子还让张劲有点成就感，眯着眼睛抽着烟听着赞扬，张劲觉着自己有点‘伟光正’的意思，相当的自我陶醉。
但是，紧接着胖子拍着胸脯说出来的下半句话，顿时让张劲被雷的不轻。
“咳咳咳……”
狠狠呛了几口烟后，张劲一边抹着眼角咳出来的眼泪，一边质问道：
“我说胖子，这胡话可不能胡说啊？你帮着我追你姐？我啥时候说要追你姐了？你还知道说这话要冒着生命握啊？
这话要是传出去，可就不仅仅是你生命安全的握了，老劲我也要性命不保啊？
或者这话落入你姐的耳朵里，你姐把你锤扁了之后，捎带着顺手把老劲我也一起干掉。或者这话落入你叶嫂子耳朵里，然后她不远万里的杀回家来，把我先奸后杀、再奸再杀，碎成一百零八块，剁成饺子馅然后拿来炖肉粥，分成一个月的时间，当早餐都吃到肚子里去。
胖子，你要是想不开，摸电门、爬高压线、抹脖子、嗑药，可千万别说这种容易遭雷劈的胡话拉我老劲下水，老劲我的小日子过的正滋润着，可还没活够呢！
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