第六百一十五章 教育鹏举
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“为何做法事?”
“据附近农户来报,他们说近曰来大营附近的鸡全部被偷,怀疑是黄鼠狼干的……”秦堪扫了一眼脸色渐渐发绿的徐鹏举,接着道:“农户们特别强调,这是一只成了精的黄鼠狼,少说得有五百年道行吧,不然怎么专吃农家的鸡,却不吃屎呢?”
绿着脸的徐鹏举忍不住打断道:“黄鼠狼……还吃屎?”
朱厚照诧异地看着他:“民间有句俗话叫‘黄鼠狼改不了吃屎’,这句话你竟然没听过?”
“没……没有。”
秦堪叹了口气,道:“农户皆是陛下子民,陛下怎忍见子民被一只偷鸡的败类糟践?于是请了龙虎山的张真人下山,给农户们做一场法事,收了那只妖孽……”
徐鹏举擦汗,脸色愈发难看,吃吃道:“也许,也许他不是妖,是人呢,正常情形下,人才吃鸡……”
秦堪断然道:“绝不可能!养鸡的都是穷苦人家,就指着家里几只鸡过年时换一两尺布头给孩子添新衣裳,谁会做出如此丧心病狂之事,把穷人家的唯一盼头给掐了?我和陛下讨论了很久,觉得世上应该没有这么混帐的人,一定是妖!”
徐鹏举快哭了,哭丧着脸弱弱地道:“我觉得吧,这么混帐的人还是存在的……”
秦堪立马露出一副高山仰止的表情:“原来小公爷另有高见,失敬失敬,不知小公爷还有什么高见?”
徐鹏举垂头丧气道:“我还有一个高见,那些被偷了鸡的百姓今年还是有盼头的……”
“哦?为何?”
“因为他们很快就会发现家里莫名其妙多出一锭银子,这锭银子大概比他们养的鸡贵十倍……”
秦堪如释重负笑道:“原来这只黄鼠狼还是一只好妖,可见陛下治下江山不仅民风朴实,连妖风也朴实起来了,实在是可喜可贺,当妖有了一颗向善的心,它就不是妖……”
朱厚照坏笑着接道:“对,它是人妖。”
扔下一脸发绿的徐鹏举,损人损够了的秦堪和朱厚照心满意足地离开了。
二人刚走,魏国公府随军出征的一名侍卫窜了进来,手里捧着一只热腾腾香喷喷的烧鸡。
“小公爷,小人刚刚烤好的,快趁热吃……”
啪!
恼羞成怒的徐鹏举眼疾手快抢过他手里的烧鸡,又狠狠赏了侍卫后脑一记锅贴。
“吃吃吃!小爷是吃货吗?”徐鹏举怒极咆哮。
侍卫愕然看着他,目光充满了困惑。——难道小公爷不是吃货?
“你,赶紧带上银子出营,哪家农户丢了鸡就给哪家一锭银子,……丢人啊!小爷这辈子的人今儿算是丢尽了!”
“是!”
“还有,马上要与朱宸濠反军决战了,决战之曰小爷要一马当先,杀他个落花流水,最好能亲自摘了朱宸濠的狗头!”
双手抱着烧鸡,一口狠狠咬下鸡屁股,徐鹏举一边咀嚼一边含糊不清地悲愤道:“小爷要让所有人知道,我……不仅仅是吃货!”
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