第六百三十章 龙颜大怒
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标准的昏君语录，若真有中书舍人将朱厚照这辈子说过的混帐话全部记录下来，恐怕不会比圣经薄多少。
“陛下在想什么？”
朱厚照不好意思地揉了揉脸，笑道：“朕刚才在想刘良女。”
“陛下亲征也有三个月了，想她了？”
“当然想她了，不仅如此，朕还在畅想，过不了多久朕就能够将朱宸濠那逆贼亲手拿下，然后班师回京，进安定门的时候一定有许多百姓跪迎庆贺，说不定里面就有刘良女，那时我将朱宸濠用绳子绑着，遛狗似的把他牵进安定门，那该多么威风，多么愉悦，想必那一刻刘良女看朕的目光一定很不一样吧·毕竟女人都喜欢英雄，朕这次是得胜回京可不就是英雄么？你曾经也说过，少女情怀总是诗什么的······”
“呃，少女湿不湿臣不清楚·但是陛下欲得刘良女芳心，臣倒觉得不必那么麻烦……”
朱厚照奇道：“你有更好的法子吗？”
秦堪暗叹，当初朱厚照跟刘良女说即将离开京师时，秦堪清楚看到刘良女脸上闪过黯然不舍之色，可见刘良女分明已对朱厚照生了情愫，只是朱厚照这个蠢萌蠢萌的纯情少男没察觉到而已。
“臣没有更好的法子，但有更直接的法子。”
“什么法子？”朱厚照直起腰·两眼精光暴射，布置与朱宸濠决战阵势的时候都没见他这么精神过。
“很简单，把她睡了便是。”
“睡······睡了？”朱厚照眼中的精光瞬间变成了呆光。
“对·不仅要把她睡了，而且把她睡服了，她就是你的了。”
“这法子你以前跟我说过，但这不是禽兽行径么？”
“陛下，以前当然是禽兽行径，但是现在臣敢保证，你若不睡她她会在心里骂你禽兽不如……”
朱厚照怔怔呆了许久，幽幽一叹：“秦堪，朕冒不起这个险啊·咱们还是按正常套路走吧，朕觉得把朱宸濠牵进京师那一幕就比较正常，不仅正常·而且威风，只要刘良女是正常女人的话，一定会爱上朕的·你想想，大明天子雄姿英发，亲手擒获谋逆叛贼，多么威风……”
秦堪露出苦笑：“陛下，臣今日进帅帐要禀奏的就是关于擒获朱宸濠之事……”
“怎么了？”
秦堪小心地看了看朱厚照的神色，期期道：“呃，擒获朱宸濠不劳陛下费心了·因为有人已将他擒获了，如今正在押解安庆的路上……”
朱厚照仿佛被使了冰冻法术似的·整个人僵住了，两眼直呆呆看着秦堪一动不动。
秦堪摇头叹气，晴天霹雳大抵也就这涅了吧。
帅帐内很安静，落针可闻，朱厚照僵住的表情丝毫没有解冻的俭，瞧得秦堪的心都悬起老高。
看朱厚照这副涅，绝对不是高兴的样子，秦堪暗暗心惊，自己送了偌大一个功劳给王守仁，该不会害了他吧？
“陛下，陛下······”秦堪忍不住开始招魂：“陛下魂兮归来，下面的臣子拿住了逆首朱宸濠，你就算不载歌载舞吧，好歹也该表个态呀。”
朱厚照终于解冻，不过脸色却迅速阴沉下来，他紧紧咬着牙，齿缝里迸出几个字：“是谁···…是谁干的混帐事？”
这混帐话说的……
“汀赣巡抚王守仁。”
砰！
朱厚照大怒，拍案长身而起：“又是他！又是这个王守仁－让他抓朱宸濠了？朕的大军还未到安庆，他便在江西打得风生水起，朕如今唯一指望能亲手拿住朱宸濠，在天下人面前露露脸，他却把朱宸濠抓了，会打仗了不起吗？什么事都让他干了，朕千里迢迢跑来安庆干什么？真当朕来捡破烂扫战场吗？混帐r直是混帐！”
秦堪张了张嘴，却不知该如何接话，摸着良心说句公道话的话，眼前这位小昏君才叫真的混帐，人家把造你反的贼首抓住了，你不但不感谢封赏，反而破口大骂······这么一号昏君治下居然没有亡国，显然纯粹是朱家列祖列宗们死后埋的地方风水绝佳。
p：今天少码点，状态不是很好
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