第十章 进宫
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蔡攸听后,倒吸一口冷气:“她不是和我有仇吧?怎么这般歹毒!公主都不计较,你还唧唧歪歪个屁啊!你还以为自己是公主啊!”
赵雅秀美微蹙,嗔怒道:“你这死丫头!真是越来越放肆了,都敢命令起主子来了!”
宫女看到公主发火了,也不敢再多言语了。正打算要用眼睛蹂躏一番蔡攸,可是扭头一看,发现后面空空如也,哪里还有蔡攸的影子?
此刻,蔡攸早已出现在福宁殿门外,刚刚一路狂奔过来,真把他累了个够呛。蔡攸擦擦额头的汗水,大吐苦水:“一个宫女还这么拽!等老子以后飞黄腾达了,一定要把你这个小娘皮%#¥#%!”
“蔡大人,皇上召您进去呢!”
太监的喊叫声把蔡攸从意淫中拉了出来,蔡攸刚到福宁殿的时候,就让门前的小太监进去禀报了。
蔡攸急忙答应一声,谢过小太监后,就径直走入福宁殿。
刚一进去,就看见宋徽宗站在书案旁,手握着粗头毛笔,正在写字。蔡攸赶紧跪下叩首:“臣蔡攸叩见吾皇,愿吾皇万岁万岁万万岁。”
赵佶停下手笔,哈哈笑道:“爱卿快快平身!”
“谢主隆恩!”
蔡攸起身之后,正要说有事齐奏,却被赵佶抢了先。
“爱卿啊,你来的正好。今日朕感到颇为无趣,不如咱们再来猜谜如何?上元节那日,爱卿可真是令朕大开眼见啊!”
蔡攸也只好先把事情放一放,于是说道:“请皇上出题,臣自为之。”
其实赵佶也只是随口说说,自己还真没什么有趣的题目,忽然他的目光落到了脚上,顿时计上心来。
只见赵佶指着自己的双脚,说道:“今日就以朕的龙足为题如何?”以脚为题,乃是赵佶灵感所致,可以说是自古以来的独一份。这次他是有心要为难一下蔡攸,不过赵佶也十分好奇,他要看看蔡攸到底是否能给自己一个满意的答案。
蔡攸眼珠子一转,心中便有了计较。于是说道:“臣已经有了答案!”
赵佶顿时瞪大了眼睛看着蔡攸,狐疑万分:“这也太快了吧!难道他真是天纵奇才?!”
蔡攸看着赵佶惊疑的表情,微微一笑,在赵佶面前的白纸上写下一个大字,说道:“皇上请看,这就是此谜的答案。”
赵佶低头一看,面前的纸上赫然是一个‘蹄’字。顿时气得鼻子都歪了,指着蔡攸喝道:“你,你,好你个蔡攸!你怎敢如此大逆不道,侮辱于朕!难道你不怕朕诛你九族?”
蔡攸故作惊慌道:“皇上,不知臣犯了什么罪,您要诛我九族呢?”
赵佶重重哼道:“你自己写的字,你还能不清楚!你竟敢把朕的龙足比作畜生的脚蹄,你说你是不是犯了欺君之罪!”
蔡攸惊讶道:“皇上,这可是您让臣写的啊!”
“混账!朕何时让你写的?”
蔡攸说道:“臣所写的就是谜底啊。”
赵佶看着蔡攸那装傻充愣的样子,是又好气又好笑,说道:“难道朕的龙足就是‘蹄’?!”
蔡攸不紧不慢地说道:“皇上请息怒,容臣道明缘由。”
“好,你且说来,如果说不出个所以然来,定斩不赦!”赵佶气呼呼地说道。
蔡攸用右手捂住‘蹄’字的左边,说道:“皇上,请问这个字是什么?”
“当然是帝了!”赵佶冷笑道。
蔡攸再捂住右边,说道:“这个呢?”
“足!”
赵佶似乎已经有些不耐烦了。忽然,他表情一僵,似乎想通了其中的关键。
蔡攸笑道:“皇上,帝王的足不就是指您的脚吗?试问天下人除了皇上您外,谁的脚还能用
此字来形容呢?”
“这个,呃……”赵佶彻底无语了,直愣愣地呆坐着,半晌也没有下文。
蔡攸暗地里抹了一把汗:“以后打死都不能再开这种玩笑了,万一惹毛皇帝老儿,把自己咔嚓了,那可就亏大了!”
赵佶干咳两声,说道:“此事就到此为止吧,不知爱卿今日前来,所谓何事啊?”
蔡攸赶紧直奔主题:“臣近日偶得灵感,写了一些杂文。臣知皇上的文采乃是旷古绝今,所以斗胆想请皇上给臣指点一番。”刚刚惹毛了赵佶,现在趁机先拍上马屁再说。
其实历史上,宋徽宗最为注重的就是自己的文采,所以蔡攸的马屁拍的是恰到好处。
赵佶一扫刚刚的不悦,点头道:“既然如此,那就呈上来吧!”
[记住网址龙腾小说ltxsba.com]
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