第十章 进宫
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蔡攸听后，倒吸一口冷气：“她不是和我有仇吧？怎么这般歹毒！公主都不计较，你还唧唧歪歪个屁啊！你还以为自己是公主啊！”
赵雅秀美微蹙，嗔怒道：“你这死丫头！真是越来越放肆了，都敢命令起主子来了！”
宫女看到公主发火了，也不敢再多言语了。正打算要用眼睛蹂躏一番蔡攸，可是扭头一看，发现后面空空如也，哪里还有蔡攸的影子？
此刻，蔡攸早已出现在福宁殿门外，刚刚一路狂奔过来，真把他累了个够呛。蔡攸擦擦额头的汗水，大吐苦水：“一个宫女还这么拽！等老子以后飞黄腾达了，一定要把你这个小娘皮%#￥#%！”
“蔡大人，皇上召您进去呢！”
太监的喊叫声把蔡攸从意淫中拉了出来，蔡攸刚到福宁殿的时候，就让门前的小太监进去禀报了。
蔡攸急忙答应一声，谢过小太监后，就径直走入福宁殿。
刚一进去，就看见宋徽宗站在书案旁，手握着粗头毛笔，正在写字。蔡攸赶紧跪下叩首：“臣蔡攸叩见吾皇，愿吾皇万岁万岁万万岁。”
赵佶停下手笔，哈哈笑道：“爱卿快快平身！”
“谢主隆恩！”
蔡攸起身之后，正要说有事齐奏，却被赵佶抢了先。
“爱卿啊，你来的正好。今日朕感到颇为无趣，不如咱们再来猜谜如何？上元节那日，爱卿可真是令朕大开眼见啊！”
蔡攸也只好先把事情放一放，于是说道：“请皇上出题，臣自为之。”
其实赵佶也只是随口说说，自己还真没什么有趣的题目，忽然他的目光落到了脚上，顿时计上心来。
只见赵佶指着自己的双脚，说道：“今日就以朕的龙足为题如何？”以脚为题，乃是赵佶灵感所致，可以说是自古以来的独一份。这次他是有心要为难一下蔡攸，不过赵佶也十分好奇，他要看看蔡攸到底是否能给自己一个满意的答案。
蔡攸眼珠子一转，心中便有了计较。于是说道：“臣已经有了答案！”
赵佶顿时瞪大了眼睛看着蔡攸，狐疑万分：“这也太快了吧！难道他真是天纵奇才？！”
蔡攸看着赵佶惊疑的表情，微微一笑，在赵佶面前的白纸上写下一个大字，说道：“皇上请看，这就是此谜的答案。”
赵佶低头一看，面前的纸上赫然是一个‘蹄’字。顿时气得鼻子都歪了，指着蔡攸喝道：“你，你，好你个蔡攸！你怎敢如此大逆不道，侮辱于朕！难道你不怕朕诛你九族？”
蔡攸故作惊慌道：“皇上，不知臣犯了什么罪，您要诛我九族呢？”
赵佶重重哼道：“你自己写的字，你还能不清楚！你竟敢把朕的龙足比作畜生的脚蹄，你说你是不是犯了欺君之罪！”
蔡攸惊讶道：“皇上，这可是您让臣写的啊！”
“混账！朕何时让你写的？”
蔡攸说道：“臣所写的就是谜底啊。”
赵佶看着蔡攸那装傻充愣的样子，是又好气又好笑，说道：“难道朕的龙足就是‘蹄’？！”
蔡攸不紧不慢地说道：“皇上请息怒，容臣道明缘由。”
“好，你且说来，如果说不出个所以然来，定斩不赦！”赵佶气呼呼地说道。
蔡攸用右手捂住‘蹄’字的左边，说道：“皇上，请问这个字是什么？”
“当然是帝了！”赵佶冷笑道。
蔡攸再捂住右边，说道：“这个呢？”
“足！”
赵佶似乎已经有些不耐烦了。忽然，他表情一僵，似乎想通了其中的关键。
蔡攸笑道：“皇上，帝王的足不就是指您的脚吗？试问天下人除了皇上您外，谁的脚还能用
此字来形容呢？”
“这个，呃……”赵佶彻底无语了，直愣愣地呆坐着，半晌也没有下文。
蔡攸暗地里抹了一把汗：“以后打死都不能再开这种玩笑了，万一惹毛皇帝老儿，把自己咔嚓了，那可就亏大了!”
赵佶干咳两声，说道：“此事就到此为止吧，不知爱卿今日前来，所谓何事啊？”
蔡攸赶紧直奔主题：“臣近日偶得灵感，写了一些杂文。臣知皇上的文采乃是旷古绝今，所以斗胆想请皇上给臣指点一番。”刚刚惹毛了赵佶，现在趁机先拍上马屁再说。
其实历史上，宋徽宗最为注重的就是自己的文采，所以蔡攸的马屁拍的是恰到好处。
赵佶一扫刚刚的不悦，点头道：“既然如此，那就呈上来吧！”
[记住网址龙腾小说ltxsba.com]
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