第16节
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我跟郝五各自要了杯酒东一榔头西一棒槌的闲聊着.离郝五不远正有一女孩在吸烟，看上去挺落寞的，郝五偷着给我指了指人家：＂女孩子吸什么烟那，恶习！＂
呵，这人！
我问：＂吸烟怎么成恶习了？＂
＂吸烟这不明摆着的吗，糟蹋自己不说还糟蹋环境！＂
＂那你吸不吸？＂
＂我啊，我从来不吸烟，为环保做贡献！＂郝五还直直脖儿，显得特自豪.
我说：＂别人都有那恶习，干嘛你没有啊？这种事，没有也得培养，，没有也得有！你看现在男女都抽烟，众人皆醉你独醒，你了不起啊？敢和别人不一样，不想在圈里混了啊？＂
郝五被我一阵抢白，那脸上肌肉明显硬了一下，我懒的理他，打算喝完这杯酒就回去等小新电话，也不知道她在上海究竟得呆多久.
郝五见我沉默，就使劲找话说，我也不好老干坐着，就有下没下的跟他扯.聊到关于男女各自的生活问题，郝五感慨：＂你看吧，现在你们过的其实比我们高，尤其现在这些漂亮的女孩子啊，真是了不起那，你看就刚才那个张婷吧，年纪轻轻就开名车，啧啧，做男人呢却要一步一步地打拼，真是不容易.＂
这话让我听了不舒服：＂我说你是不是羡慕我们女的了还是怎么着？合着我们女的钱就天上掉的啊？人张婷工作待遇好这有什么办法，诶，郝五，你怎么发这么篇感慨啊？敢情有什么代表性的经历？＂
＂嗨，我又没专门指着张婷说什么，你急什么啊，我这不就想吗，你看男女平等都提倡这么多年了，男人挣钱再去给女人花，是不是很贱啊！＂
＂也不是吧＂.我说：＂那得看那男的自己爱好什么了，如果爱好就是女人，也算物有所值，贱着也乐意.＂
＂对啊，关扬，你这话说我心坎儿里了，十个男人里有他妈十个半有这种爱好的，这该怎么说呢，对，就叫我贱故我在！＂
我看着郝五梳的那跟牛舔的似的头发，一阵阵的反胃.还他妈他贱故他在，有这么说自己的吗，我还真为男同胞们抱不平，天下男人的脸都被他给丢光了.我要是男的，先把他阉了让他当个阴阳人.
不过总不能表现出来不是，我拍他一下：＂唉，你们因贱而存在，那我们女的只能对你们这种这么便宜的价格表示同情了.＂
＂知音啊！＂郝五一下拉过我的手.
我使劲儿把手抽出来：＂哎哎哎，君子动口不动手，别拉拉扯扯的，要被你女朋友见了还以为我勾搭你呢.＂
＂嗨，我不就表示一下激动的心情嘛，再说我女朋友也不可能在这啊.＂说着又握上了我的手.
＂行啊！郝五！我说你怎么不往我那儿去了！原来是外边儿又有人了！！＂
我一抬头，只见一个个头160左右韶华已过风姿犹存的半老徐娘气势汹汹的站郝五后面，插着腰浑身乱颤，俩眼直往外冒火，我一怔，这谁啊？
只见郝五一个激灵赶紧放开我的手，脑袋接着来了个360度大转弯儿：＂萍萍？你怎么来这儿了？＂
＂我怎么来了？怕我来是不是？心虚了是不是？＂
呵，看来这个叫萍萍的是郝五的女朋友吧，说曹操曹操就到啊！还真有他的，看这女的怎么也得有40上下吧，脸上的妆化的到是挺精致，穿的也挺名贵，一看就是个阔主儿.郝五跟我年龄也差不到哪儿去啊，这是找女友还是找妈呢？得，现在不是流行这个嘛，我一句话也不说，反正也我没什么事儿，权当电影看了.
＂不是，萍萍，她，她是我同学.＂郝五跟个孙子一样低着头站起来，还不敢挺直腰板.
＂鬼都知道现在的同学关系跟哥哥妹妹一样暧昧！＂那萍萍显然很气愤：＂我早就知道你在外边拈花问柳儿，这次被我逮着了我看你还给我个什么说法！＂
＂不是，真不是！＂郝五都快哭了：＂我，她，这，这真是同学关系.＂
＂同学关系？马上就要同床关系了吧！说什么同学关系？啊？同学关系？说的好听！其实就是牙猪找母猪！＂
＂咳！咳！咳！＂我听到那个叫萍萍的中年妇女把同学关系说成牙猪找母猪一下被刚喝的酒呛的上不来气儿，妈妈的，竟然还有这比喻，这还真是两口子，一个把月亮比喻成孕妇的肚皮，一个把同学比喻成牙母猪相会，哎，他俩，缘分啊！想着想着越想越有意思，再看郝五那怂包样儿跟平时一贯意气风发的样子大相径庭，不由的乐了.
＂你给我说清楚，你到底想怎么样！还过不过了！＂萍萍小姐还在那儿跟训儿子似的训郝五，酒吧的人几乎都成了他俩的观众.
忽然这萍萍向我走来，一扬手＂啪＂的一声冲我脸上就一巴掌，跟她这动作同步的还有她的声音：：＂你这小狐狸精！你竟然还敢笑！＂
我被她这母老虎般的表情母夜叉般的行为搞的脑袋一阵阵发晕，突然，又听到比拍黄瓜还清脆的＂啪＂的一声，跟这个声音同步也有另外一个声音：＂你丫竟干打她！！＂
我努力将两眼聚焦，只见那叫萍萍的夜叉右手捂着脸楞在郝五前面，在她旁边有个发如瀑布身材窈窕的妙龄女子，我使劲揉揉眼，看着那人的背影都忘了脸上的疼,诶,那不是我朝思暮想的小新吗？！
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